Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. (It's kind of funny how the phrase "merry christmas" survives as one of the only modern usages of the word "merry." I prefer saying things like "Happy Christmas.") My wife and I went out to the Waffle House for lunch and then we went to see a movie. I also got some recreational reading done, and continued to work on a knitting project that my wife is helping me with... A mockingbird with feathers puffed out against the cold just landed on a branch outside my window... Anyway, I look forward to getting more reading done this week, and finally finishing the knitting project (a hat).

It is strange the way the Christmas season is invested with such significance, how deeply it is burned into my brain and the brains of others. It's just another day, and I don't mean that as a slam against it's religious significance. Most people celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday, and that's the concept that's really burned into my brain. In fact, when I was growing up, I felt like Christmas equated with the receiving of presents in the morning. I would be incredibly excited the night before. (I don't know why, alhtough I still feel it to a far lesser degree.) Then I would rush down in the morning, we would tear open our presents in a frenzy, and then I would feel let down, almost dejected. Not because I didn't get good presents, but because no material goods could possibly fulfill the desire that had built in my heart in the days before Christmas. It's actually just an example of incorrect thinking on my part, but at that point in my life, I lacked the maturity, awareness and desire to modify my expectations and behavior to more closely match reality. Then, after presents, we had dinner with visiting family, and I found this to be incredibly boring and painful. All I wanted to do was be alone, possibly playing video games or reading. It is only recently that I've found being with other people a blessing rather than a curse.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Wee sleekit cowrin timorous beastie

This is one of the two mice we captured when we first moved into our house. La Misma's post on her blog reminded me of the whole incident. Incidentally, I have a grammar question. Should it be "into our house" or "in to our house"?

Buddhism and (Science or Secular Humanism)

I just watched a very inisghtful talk of Richard Dawkins. Dawkins is an evangelical atheist, much the same as I used to be, but I found myself agreeing with almost everything he said. For example, although rocks and tables consist mostly of empty space, they look solid because our brains have evolved to see them as solid, which is the most useful way to perceive them in the particular range of speeds and energies that we live in. If we were made of neurtinos, we probably would have evolved to see rocks as being filled with empty space. He makes a number of interesting points along these lines, about how bats probably hear in color for example. At the end of his talk, he went on to say that a human is merely a complicated machine (no evidence given) and that millions of people were subject to the deluded perception of the universe as having human characteristics. (I think he was trying to say that belief in God was tantamount to this perception, although he didn't explicitly say so.) I agree with this. Even if one calls the totality of existence "God," it is still a misconception to give it human characteristics. So, really, the only thing I actually disagree with is the idea that consciousness is explainable in mechanistic terms. Throughout the whole talk, which is about 20 minutes long, I was thinking how Buddhist it seemed, and I was a bit puzzled at the end comments, which didn't seem to follow logically from the beginning. This is probably becuase Dawkins is arguing against the simplistic religious conceptions that are so common in our culture. For example, the idea that evolution and spiritual belief are inconsistent. He's saying, look, the universe is much more complicated and beautiful than you thought! I say "Hear hear!" However, he then draws the specious conclusion, "Therefore religion is evil." I think he means to say, "Therefore ignorance is evil." He has unconsciously identified a subset of religious practicioners with the whole set.

Christianity and Buddhism

I went up to visit a Japanese Buddhist monastery in the mountains near here. Although they are Japanese, they are not Zen, and I don't actually remember the name of their order. It is quite different than Tibetan Buddhism, but in essence, it is the same. They did a ceremony where they banged on drums and chanted with the goal of world peace. This same group leads an annual walk from Atlanta to Oak Ridge to protest the existence and manufacture of nuclear bombs. The monastery has only two regular residents, a monk and a nun, and I immediately liked them both. After the ceremony, we ate a delicious home-cooked meal that they had prepared. The monk, Brother Izumi, talked a bit about American Buddhism. (By the way, he welcomed us as if we were old friends, even though we practice Tibetan Buddhism.) In any event, he emphasized that Buddhism often reconnects people with their Christian roots, with the true spirit of Christianity. He pointed out that this true spirit is thriving in places like South America. In fact, what Brother Izumi was saying has been echoed by all the Buddhist teachers I've ever heard voice an opinion about the subject. Christianity and Buddhism are not contradictory. My problem is that Christianity is promulgated in a way that gives rise to a lot of misunderstanding and confusion, especially because people cling so much to doctrine. Thus, when I was growing up, I got the clear idea that there is an all-powerful anthropomorphic creator God sitting up their in the sky. Now this concept leads to all sorts of confusion. First, there is the well-known problem that omnipotence is logically contradictory: "Can God create a rock so heavy that he can't lift it?" Second, there is the question of why God causes us to suffer, if, he is after all, the ultimate cause of everything. However, many people have come up with a much more sublte idea of God. Spinoza recognized that "there can be no other thing than God." That is, all of us, the world, the universe, are part of God. We are ineseparable from God. The person A.C., who posts comments on this site, has mentioned a similar idea that "we are all thoughts in God's mind." This, I feel, is quite close to ideas in Vajrayana Buddhism, where everything is said to be a projection of mind. All that we see and experience is a projection of mind. But whose mind? A fundamental Buddhist teaching is that at the ultimate level, there is no such thing as separately existing selves. There is only one mind, and we are all inseparable from it. One could call this God, and be very much in tune with some strands of Christian thought. This unity is not usually called God in Buddhist circles because the term God evokes so much preconceived baggage, I think. For example, it seems funny to say "We are participants in God."

Dharma Path

I signed up a week and a half ago for the Dharma Path program which is being offered by Lama Norlha Rinpoche's Monastery in New York. You commit to an hour of meditation each day, two hours a day on weekends. You can listen to the instructional talks as mp3 files. So far it's already been quite helpful. The program lasts seven months, and culminates in a 9 day retreat at the end of June. In addition, I will be qualified to teach up to the level I achieve. The format is different than what I would have anticipated: for each meditation session, sit in tranquility meditation for a third, contemplate our precious human birth (the first thought that turns the mind toward the dharma) for a third, and then finish with tranquility meditation for a third. One does this for 60 hours, and then moves on to the second thought that turns the mind toward the dharma, eventually covering all four thoughts.

I am still acutely aware of my shortcomings. Indeed, yesterday, I had an outbreak of jealousy, and before that I was nurturing fantasies of my superiority, but all I can say is that I'm making progress.

Funny story

Kansas outlaws practice of evolution

Another Mantis

I did not take the picture above. It's from the wikipedia praying mantis entry. But it is such a cool specimen that, given that the photog has granted an unrestricted license, I feel compelled to post it.

Delusion

Today I talked with a guy who was looking for a reason to stop coming to A.A., but I didn't realize it at the time. He said that Jesus said that it was better to commit a sin then to talk about committing a sin, and therefore it was better to not attend A.A. meetings where we talk about our commiting of sins. This is obviously completely back asswards, but he didn't give me a chance to respond. After saying his thing, he immediately walked away and refused to listen. He's fixated on an idea and become trapped by it, and for all I know, he may die as a result. If there's one thing I think is true, it's that one should never cling to an idea.

This also brings up for me a concept that I have been struggling with, which is whether I should talk about my Buddhist beliefs at A.A. meetings. I asked a Lama I feel close to, and she said that I shouldn't try to introduce Buddhism into A.A. It is basically a Christian program, she said, and my doing this would probably be a source of confusion and tension. She said that it might be appropriate to discuss it with someone who sees me doing well, and asks me how I came to be this way. Having had this experience this morning, I see that her advice was good. If someone can be driven away because he doesn't think A.A. is Christian enough, just imagine the confusion I might cause. People might be driven away because they don't understand Buddhism. In fact, one guy I talked to asked "That's not Satanism, is it?" when I mentioned I was a Buddhist. I do not want it on my conscience that I drove someone away from the program.

Currently when I share in meetings, I use the term "God," but I use it metaphorically, so that the other people there can identify with what I'm saying. It's a way to promote harmony. If we live spiritually, we are helping other beings, no matter whether we perceive ourselves to be Buddhists or not. It would probably help no-one to say, "Through the help of Buddhas and other enlightened beings, as well as the ripening of my positive karma, I heard what I needed to hear at tonight's meeting" as opposed to "God made sure I heard what i needed to hear tonight."

The Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind Toward the Dharma

Namo! Lama infallible constant protector, be aware of me.

(1) The freedoms and the favorable conditions of this human birth are extremely difficult to obtain.

(2) Everything born is impermanent and bound to die.

(3) The results of virtuous and unvirtuous actions (which are causes) are inexorable.

(4) The three realms of cyclic existence have the nature of an ocean of suffering.

Remembering this, may my mind turn towards the dharma.

When Lama Norlha Rinpoche and his translator Lama Jamdron visited recently, someone asked them what should a newcomer to Buddhism do to get started on the path. Lama Jamdron replied that the four thoughts that turn the mind are of fundamental importance. In light of this, I have transcribed them here. Here is how I understand them:

(1) It is extremely difficult to get a human body, the only body, it is said, where one can achieve enlightenment. Animals do not have enough awareness, but Gods also are too self-absorbed to do it. Thus we have an incredible oppurtunity here, and it would be a shame to waste it.

(2) It is important to recognize the transitory nature of existence. There is nothing solid to cling to. One should always be ready to let go of objects and ideas. This is a fundamental idea in Buddhism, and recognizing this, we are encouraged to go to the Buddha, the dharma and the sangha for refuge.

(3) If you do bad things, bad results will occur. If you do good things, good results will occur. It is important to see this, because, as a friend of mine put it, when you see that you'll never get out of the rut by doing things the same old way, you'll be encouraged to try a new way.

(4) The nature of the world we live in is suffering, so we need to do something about it! The bodhisattva vow is to liberate people and other beings from their suffering. As I understand things, a Buddha has escaped the three realms of cyclic existence, but chooses to remain to help all sentient beings achieve enlightenment.

These are some of the thoughts that occur to me, but please feel free to comment, criticize or correct. I'm still progressing and learning.

Praying Mantis

This praying mantis was crawling around on our recycle bin. When I moved the camera around to snap pictures, its head swiveled to follow the action. Click on the picture for a bigger version.

All are worthy of praise and compassion

It occurred to me today, and I might not have it totally right, that we all probably have some choice in which rebirth we take. We can't trump karma, and if we are deluded, we might not be able to choose effectively, but I still think there is a kernel of choice there. Thus, when you see someone with character defects, or things you wish to criticize, realize that there is a pure being within that has chosen to take the human form you are criticizing, and that they must have had a reason for it. We all have pure Buddha nature within, and eventually this will manifest itself continuously, when we become Buddhas. In the meantime, why worry too much? Suffering, like the rest of this perceived world, is an illusion. However, most beings don't know that, so they experience the suffering. Having compassion on these beings is a core tenet of Buddhism, and the antidote for their suffering is to help those beings realize that their suffering is illusory. Now you might say, if their suffering is an illusion, why do you need to stop it? That's kind of what I thought when I first heard this type of reasoning. However, the problem is just the ambiguity of language I think. Clearly beings suffer. The point is that they don't have to if they can perceive the illusory nature of reality. (Which is not to say that reality doesn't exist.) This is what is meant by "suffering is an illusion." At the very least, even if you don't believe in rebirth, this sort of thinking could help to ameliorate ill feelings toward others. Think of it as an imaginative exercise.

Prayer request

I just found out that a good friend of mine who happened to be an alcoholic and drug addict was found dead under a nearby bridge. He had relapsed. When he was sober, he was a good person, a friendly and earnest individual. When he was under the influence he was spiritually sick. Please pray that he finds a good rebirth. (In Tibetan Buddhism, we believe that after death a person becomes an intermediate being for up to 49 days, after which they find rebirth. The rebirth is determined by awareness and karma. The more aware you are, the more control you have, but you can only operate within the bounds of karma. Thus people who have killed can be reborn as hell beings, although through spiritual practice such negative karma can be purified.) In any event, his name is Volly. I never knew his last name.

Wonderful Karma

At our center we've been blesses with two wonderful teachers in as many weeks. Lama Inge visited us from Spokane, Washington. She is a remarkable woman. The thing I noticed most about her is that she is joyful all of the time, and it is infectious. This week Lama Norlha Rinpoche is visiting, who is a very high Lama. He has all sorts of plans for us. One of our sangha members has some rural land, and Rinpoche wants to build a stupa and a dharma center. Last night, my wife and I went to a pot luck expecting the usual sort of thing, but the group ended up planning a nonprofit organization for the project. Rinpoche says he will spend half his time here and will send us several graduates of his three year retreat program every year as teachers. We can't believe our luck, especially as this came completely out of the blue.

A stupa, by the way, is a large monument which is infused with hundreds of thousands of prayers, and they are reputed to have the ability to balance the elements and mitigate natural disasters. It will also help to purify the region's negative karma from slavery and oppresion of native americans.

Criticizing others

To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce only friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities. If you find yourself slandering anybody, first imagine that your mouth is filled with excrement. It will break you of the habit quickly enough.

-H.H. the Dalai Lama

Most interesting meeting?

A friend of mine posed the question of which pair of people (either real or fictional) would make for the most interesting meeting. Would anybody care to suggest some possibilities? I suggested Shakyamuni Buddha and Jesus. It would be interesting to hear what they would have to say to each other.

The Genuine Buddha Dharma

Always be friendly. Never have malice. You can change the world this way. Let the happiness flow through you, without effort. This will cause more good in the world than anything else. Joy is contagious. Its effects endure.

Don't worry, if that's what you were doing!

I haven't had a chance to post lately, but all is well with me. More to come soon.

Homophobia

I was at an A.A. meeting today in which someone talked prejudicially about gays, and lots of people in the room laughed. I didn't laugh. I felt like I had been kicked in the head, and I'm still trying to recover. Here, I thought, were a bunch of spiritual people. Surely they were above this, I had assumed. It really saddens me, because this hatred has real consequences, as I mentioned in my previous post. It's almost like some highly realized being read that post and decided from my glib, self-comforting analysis that I needed to be shaken out of my complacency, to show me just how deep the sickness runs. During my meditation just now, it occurred to me to regard the whole episode as a dream, and, by extension, the rest of life. This way I'm less attached and these emotions become less disturbing. On the other hand, I have decided to make the following vow:

I vow never to laugh at another being's expense.

Derision of others has absolutely no place in my mind, and it's possible for me to completely give it up. What a thought!

Why is homophobia so rampant?

I just took a look at the early election results and the anti-gay marriage amendment for our state is going to pass in a landslide. This really disheartens me. Why can't people put themselves in each other's shoes? I can't imagine how much anguish young gays have to deal with growing up in a society that hates them. I know a lot of them try to suppress it as result, and that leads nowhere good.

I suppose I should be grateful for the progress that we've made as a society. Alan Turing, the brilliant mathematician who was instrumental in breaking German enigma codes in WWII, was forced by the British government to take injections to "cure" his gayness, which for some reason caused him to grow breasts. He ended up committing suicide. At least we have made some progress since then.

We've also made progress on our racism, although it is still an ugly and pervasive force. Often it acts subconsciously, but I've also encountered it in the raw, unfiltered form. Just like gays, young blacks have to contend with the fact that society treats them as though they are inferior. One study found that black kids younger than a certain age preferred playing with black dolls, but after reaching that age, they began to prefer to play with white dolls. They are, at a very deep level, internalizing the idea that they are inferior.

Harold Ford, in Tennessee, would be the first Black Senator from the south since reconstruction. I hope he wins, just for that reason. My understanding is that after the civile war, a huge influx of black politicians poured into Congress from the south, perhaps matching in precentage the actual percentage of blacks in the population. (Far unlike today.) However, the white oligarchy was not about to let this continue, and from what I remember, proceeded to gerrymander the blacks out of power. It's absolutely disgusting. There's no way to get around it.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 11

(35)
Once you become accustomed to the mental afflictions,
They are hard to cure with antidotes.
Therefore, with the remedies of mindfulness and awareness
To eliminate mental afflictions the moment they arise is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(36)
In brief, wherever you are and whatever you do,
Always examine the state of your mind.
Cultivating mindfulness and awareness continuously,
To benefit others is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(37)
To clear away the suffering of all infinite[ly many] beings,
With superior knowledge free of concepts of the three spheres,
To dedicate the merit accumulated through these efforts to enlightenment
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

Relying on what is taught in the sutras, tantras, treatises,
And the words of the genuine masters,
I have composed these thirty-seven Bodhisattva practices
To benefit those who wish to train on the Bodhisattva's path.

Because my intelligence is small and my studies few,
I cannot compose poetry to please the scholars.
Yet, since they are based on sutras and the teachings of the genuine masters,
I believe these practices of a Bodhisattva are not mistaken.

Nevertheless, since the vast conduct of a Bodhisattva is difficult to fathom
For one with an inferior intellect such as mine,
I pray to the genuine masters to consider with patience
All my mistakes, such as contradictions, incoherence and so on.

By virtue of the merit gathered here,
By the power of relative and ultimate bodhichitta,
May all sentient beings become like the protector Chenrezi,
Who dwells neither in the extreme of existence nor in that of peace.

The monk Thogme,
A proponent of scriptures and logic,
Has composed these verses
In a cave known as Ngulchu Rinchen Puk
To benefit himself and others.


Practice 35 tells us to maintain awareness of ourselves so that when mental afflictions arise, we can apply an antidote from our toolkit. Thus we can catch ourselves, for instance, when we get angry at someone. An antidote that works pretty well for me when this happens is to pray for the well-being of the person I got angry at. This way the momentary anger won't blossom into a resentment. It's remarkable how much I've changed in the past couple of years. It used to be that I was a walking pile of resentments, and that was normal for me. Nowadays, however, when I start to build one, it makes me so uncomfortable that I try to let it go as soon as possible. I'm not perfect, and I do have trouble carrying my mindfulness with me throughout the day, and I still get caught in habit patterns that I find it difficult to break. (e.g. overeating, laziness, obsessive email checking, obsessive internet surfing) Still I am improving, although I don't want that fact to become something I use as an excuse to not make progress.

Practice 36 reinforces a point that I was just making, the need to be mindful throughout the day, and not just when you're sitting and meditating.

For practice 37, I know that the dedication of merit is an important part of Buddhist practice. At the conventional level, you are reinforcing your commitment to help others, and, speaking more spiritually, you are making sure that the merit achieved by your practice isn't squandered. Ani Yeshe Palmo explained it by saying that if you don't dedicate the merit, a careless act such as stepping on a spider will use it all up, but if you dedicate for the benefit of all beings, then the merit persists. Now, how do you truly help another being. According to the Buddha, you liberate others by allowing them to see the empty nature of reality. At a deep level, all things are empty of intrinsic nature. Thus the act of dedicating is itself empty. Here's what Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche has to say:


How does a Bodhisattva dedicate merit? The Bodhisattva applies the superior knowledge of emptiness of the three spheres. This means that he or she purifies the dedication process by realizing that there is no one to dedicate merit, no merit to be dedicated, and no one to receive merit. Subject, action, object do not truly exist. This is the meaning if "...free of concepts of the three spheres," and it cannot be separated from the superior knowledge with which it is suffused, the wisdom that realizes emptiness. Without understanding that the three spheres do not truly exist, it is quite difficult to comprehend how to dedicate merit in this way.

Imagine a dream in which you are sitting at a shrine. In the exact moment of dedication, you awaken and instantly realize that no one has been dedicating merit, no merit has been dedicated, and no one has received any merit. It was all a dream. This is how to understand the practice of dedicating merit.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 10

(31)
If you have not analyzed your own confusion,
You might put on a Dharmic facade
While behaving in a non-Dharmic way.
Therefore, to continuously analyze your delusion and discard it
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(32)
If, compelled by your own afflictions,
You speak of the faults of other Bodhisattvas,
You, yourself, will degenerate.
Therefore, never to mention the faults of thos
Who have entered the Mahayana Path
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(33)
Desire for gain and honor leads to arguments, and
Activities of listening, reflecting and meditating decline.
Therefore, to relinquish attachment to the households
of friends, relatives and sponsors
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(34)
Harsh speech disturbs the minds of others
And compromises a Bodhisattva's right conduct.
Therefore, to give up harsh and unpleasant speech
Is the practice of a Bodhiattva.


Practice 31 is very important. It is too easy to get caught in the whirlpool of life and fool ourselves into thinking that we are behaving in a positive, spiritual way, when in actual fact we are behaving destructively. We need to look deeply at ourselves and see what we are really doing. That way we won't, for example, sanctimoniously meditate for an hour each day, and then go around berating and belittling people, acting counter to the dharma. This is a common complaint about many religious people: they talk one way, but act another. An antidote to this is deep reflection.

Lama Karma Chötso told us that Practice 32 should be interpreted to mean we shouldn't criticize anyone at all, since we have no way of knowing who has entered the Bodhisattva path, and who has not. This is a good practice for me, because my old habit was to automatically find fault with people, no matter who they were. It makes about as much sense as automatically praising people, but it was really a reflection of my own insecurity and self-hatred. By not criticizing others, and even praising them, it helps to foster a positive environment in my own head as well as contributing to a positive environment out there in the world.

Practice 33 is good common sense. Don't be attached to other people's possessions. There's no need to be jealous of someone else's stuff. Preoccupation with this sort of thing has very little positive use.

Practice 34 is also common sense, if you interpret it to mean that you should never say things whose purpose is to hurt someone else. I don't think it means you should never say anything that someone else might find unpleasant.

Some photos from my recent very long hike

The first photo if from a fire tower. Clicking on any image reveals a larger version.

Two dreams

Here are two dreams of mine.

Dream 1:

I was in the woods with someone else, probably in some kind of national park. We were somehow responsible for the welfare of some picnickers who were in a nearby picnic area, and also some other picnickers in a different picnic area across the road. I looked out and I could see at the horizon there was a bear silhouetted against the sky. I had some kind of super-sight because I was able to zoom in and look closely at the bear, who didn't seem threatening. In fact the bear crouched down and started acting like a small mammal akin to a muskrat. Later, after darkness fell, I could sense that the bear was closer and I could also sense another bear out there. At the last moment, before the dream ended, I could sense a gun out there in the woods as well. My dream-self thought, "that's odd that I could sense a gun." I guess it seemed more natural to be able to sense living organisms.

Dream 2:

I was riding my bike down a road which in my dream I thought was familiar, although I don't recognize the road. It was out in the countryside, but with a fair number of cars. I started to coast around a downhill curve which was wet from a recent rainfall. I began to wonder whether I could make the turn without crashing, but I looked up to see another biker making it just fine. Nevertheless, I decided to steer my bike straight and off an earthen embankment (to my certain death.) I flew out into the air and I could see a beautiful gentle green valley with a river flowing through it. That's when I woke up.

Interlude 2: A game with unknown rules

I was feeling incredibly lazy this morning, and as I lingered in bed, I convinced myself not to go to our first practice this morning. After feebly attempting to convince myself not to go to the second practice, I got up and went. I'm very glad I did, because I feel like I learned a lot, and while I could attempt an exhaustive enumeration of what I experienced, I think I'll just concentrate on a realization I had during one of the meditations. During the ceremony there is a section where we visualize the Buddha first removing our gross obstacles and obscurations, and then secondly our subtle negativities, obstacles and obscurations, and then finally pouring into us the noble qualities of a Buddha. It was at this last stage that I had a thought, which was not conceptualized so much into words, but which can roughly be explained as follows. Namely, life is like a game in which most people are unaware of the rules for success. Indeed most people think they know what the rules are, and there are many loud voices both literal and metaphorical which incorrrectly tell us what the rules are. However, what you actually must do to succeed in this life is right there under our nose but most of us simply can't see it.

This is tied into an idea that I heard from one of the "anonymous"s reading this site, where before birth spirits choose which bodies to be reborn into. They have a clear understanding of the nature of reality when they are spirits, but once they inhabit the human realm, their sight and understanding becomes distorted and obscured, to the point, I would add, that they lose sight of the goals they hoped to accomplish when they entered the human realm.

Interlude: drinking dreams

I thought I'd break up the 37 practices discussion with a description of a dream I recently had. I was in a grocery store and I could feel that alcoholic buzz, the physical blissed-out feeling that I would get for a few moments after taking a drink. I could feel this in my dream, although notably absent were feelings of hang-over, shame and bitterness that characterized my drinking career. Also absent was the realization of the transitory quality of this buzz, which would disappear no matter how many drinks I poured into myself. In any event, in my dream i put a six-pack of beer into my shopping cart. As I went to pay for it, I realized, "hey, I don't have to do this," and I took the six-pack and put it back in the refrigerator case.

I very rarely get the urge to drink anymore, so this dream came as a surprise. I know many people who have been sober many years who tell me that the temporary urges and the drinking dreams never completely disappear, and I've definitely heard people describe dreams where they actually take a drink. I'm certainly glad that my dream persona had a profound realization, and changed his mind.

This is a good reminder to me that there is a stupid part of myself that only remembers the fleeting moments of contentment and is taking it upon itself to constantly lobby for renewed drinking. I used to call this part of myself "a subprogram of my brain," but now for simplicity I just refer to it as my alcoholism. The fact that this is still part of me is a reminder that alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful. This was a realization I had once and was tremendously helpful in maintaining my sobriety, and it is good not to lose that realization.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 9

(28)
If Shravakas and Pratyekabuddhas, who strive for their benefit alone,
Expend effort as if to extinguish a fire burning on their heads,
Then for the benefit of all beings,
To cultivate joyous effort, the wellspring of all postive qualities,
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(29)
Vipashyana perfectly endowed with shamatha
Completely conquers all afflictions.
To cultivate meditative stability
That transcends the four formless states
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(30)
Without superior knowledge,
It is not possible to attain perfect enlightenment through
The first five paramitas alone.
Therefore, joining it with skillful means
And not conceptualizing the three spheres
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.


These three practices correspond the the last three of the six paramitas. Practice 28 concerns the paramita of joyous effort. This is the energy that we try to cultivate that allows us to help other beings. I've always been lazy, so i should pay attention to this one. Shravakas and Pratyekabuddhas, according to my understanding, are followers of the Hinayana path, which means that they are ascetics striving for detachment from the world, without the desire to help others achieve enlightenment.
The passage here is saying that these ascetics are really expending a lot of effort, just to try to realize their own salvation. If we are going to help others, we are going to need even more energy. I believe that this energy comes with practice: practice actually helping as well as the practice of visualizing helping others, such as during bodhichitta or tong-len practice. The more you associate helping others with positive thoughts, the more willing you are to help, even if this association begins somewhat artificially.

Practice 29 is about achieving meditative stability. Shamatha is calm abiding meditation. Shamatha meditation is the practice of sweeping thoughts from your mind. You usually focus on your breath, and whenever you notice yourself forming conceptualized thoughts, you stop and return the attention to the breath. Pema Chödron recommends saying the word "thinking" to yourself whenever you catch yourself thinking, and then returning to the breath. Gradually, as you practice, the spots in between your thoughts will grow longer and longer. Vipashyana meditation is analytic meditation. Here you are trying to meditate to achieve deeper nonconceptual understanding of things. For example you can meditate on emptiness, or you can meditate with your own mind or body as the focus. Thus when you have a thought, you stare directly at the thought. One teacher described this as watching the watcher. In order to engage in vipashyana meditation, you need to be good at shamatha, so that you can calm your mind down enough to be able to observe itself. The union of vipashyana and shamatha is called samten, or stable meditation, where you are supposed to be able to achieve superior nonconceptual knowledge. I am still working on my shamatha while engaging in a little bit of vipashyana.

Practice 30 concerns the sixth paramita of cultivating superior nonconceptual knowledge. This is direct realization of emptiness and is one half of being a bodhisattva. The other half is having bodhichitta, the compassionate desire to help others. Once you see the true nature of reality and can become unattached to it, you can help others achieve that same realization. Indeed that's what Shakyamuni did 2500 years ago. After experiencing the empty nature of reality directly though meditation, he set out to prepare others to do the same. So he gave a series of teachings (the four wheels of dharma), in which he gradually ramped things up. At first, in the first set of teachings, he emphasized personal salvation. It was only in the third set of teachings that he felt his audience was ready for the bodhisattva vows, in which we vow to benefit other beings. In fact, in this third set of teachings, he said that every being is destined to eventually become a Buddha.

Well, that's it for now.

May you, the reader, have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 8

(24)
All suffering is like the death of your child in a dream.
To take such delusive appearances as true, how exhausting!
Therefore, whenever you encounter unpleasant circumstances,
To see them as delusions is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(25)
If those who aspire to enlightenment willingly give up their bodies,
What need is there to mention external objects?
Therefore with no hope of reward or benefit,
To give with generosity is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(26)
If lack of discipline prevents you from benefiting yourself,
Then your wish to benefit others is just a joke.
Therefore, to guard discipline
With no longing for worldly existence
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(27)
For a Bodhisattva who seeks a wealth of virtue
Every harm is like a precious treasure.
Therefore, without getting irritated by anything at all,
To cultivate patience is the practice of a Bodhisattva.


Practice 24 is difficult. Seeing circumstances as having no inherent reality and similar to the dream state is something that my commentary mentions will come after practicing deep analysis for a while. That way, when difficult circumstances arise, we will be prepared to see them as illusory. At first, I thought, well, if someone is in agony in front of me, if I see their suffering as an illusion, then why should I have compassion for them? Perhaps the answer is that although the suffering is an illusion, the person who is suffering doesn't see that, and therefore out of ignorance they experience the agony. (It sounds pretty cold to say it that way.) Thus I can have compassion on beings who suffer because of their ignorance, and I would say that I should definitely not use this perspective as an excuse to look down on other beings, since we all have the same inherent nature.

Another thing that occurs to me about practice 24 is the idea that if someone is suffering, it seems callous to declare their suffering to be illusory, and to not suffer ourselves in sympathy. I don't think that suffering in sympathy with another's suffering is morally obligatory, although I'm not sure it can be stopped. Perhaps the best thing to say is that when we suffer in sympathy, we shouldn't get attached to that suffering, or feel that it is something that we must do. Still, the basic premise of practice 24 needs to be directly realized through practice, so that someone who hasn't practiced it for awhile, such as myself, may not be able to comment very well on it. Suffice it to say that I have some reservations about it.

Practice 25 concerns the first paramita: generosity. I see no complex issues here. Give unto others, but don't be attached to outcomes of that giving. I recall one time I wrote several encouraging notes to various people, and I was not unattached to outcomes. I couldn't wait to see what they wrote back in terms of their thanks. This is not the truest generosity since I really wanted something for myself in return. I find true generosity difficult, although not impossible.

Practice 26 concerns the second paramita: guarding discipline. This is an important one for me. It's too easy for me to start to be lax in my meditations or in my meeting attendance, and soon I'm sliding back into my old obnoxious ways. It's very good to have my eyes open to guard against this.

Practice 27 concerns the third paramita: patience. To me this seems like good, solid, uncomplicated advice. Cultivate patience, and use obstacles as teachers. We could not advance without challenges.

Well that about wraps up this installment.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Another doodle

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 7

(23)
When you encounter objects that please your mind,
Know they are like rainbows in the summer season.
Though they seem beautiful,
To see they are not real and to give up attachment to them
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.


Note that it doesn't say to give up pleasant objects, but rather to give up attachment to them. According to the commentary by Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche, "Once the object is understood to be empty of essence, it can be enjoyed without clinging, without suffering. What is there to give up?"

A joke!

When the waiter asked the Buddha what type of pizza he would like, the Buddha responded "One with everything." When the Buddha went to pay for the pizza, the waiter asked him if he had any change. The Buddha responded "Change must come from within."

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 6

(19)
Though famous and prominent, someone to whom others bow,
Though you amass the riches of the god of wealth.
To see that worldy splendor is without essence and thus to be without arrogance
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(20)
If you have not tamed the enemy of your own anger
Combating outer opponents will only make them multiply.
Therefore, with an army of loving kindness and compassion,
To tame your own mind is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(21)
Sense pleasures are like salt water;
The more you partake of them, the more your craving will increase.
Therefore, when something arouses attachment,
To abandon it immediately is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(22)
All appearances are your own mind, and
Mind itself primordially transcends all mental fabrications.
Knowing this is the precise nature of reality,
To remain free from dualistic conceptions is the practice of a bodhisattva


In practice 18, we learned that even when we're down and out, we should compassionately try to help others. Now, in practice 19, we address the opposite case, when we are rich and famous. Seeing that fame has no true nature, that it is transitory, we give up attachment to it. That way we no longer fear losing it. Similarly, we give up attachment to money. (This is a hard one for me.) I am much better than I used to be as far as being attached to my money and my status, but the attachment is still there. I recall one time standing in line at the Taco Bell (!), and comparing myself to everyone in line, thinking, "I make more money than him." At one point, I had built myself up internally to being one of the wealthiest people in the city. This is absurd, by the way. I was building up an illusory image of myself. and that can only result in suffering when reality doesn't accord with that illusion. Today I find myself good friends with a whole host of people in all stations of life, and that should help me to lose my attachment to money, since all types of people can be content, as I have directly observed.

As far as practice 20 goes, Lama Karma Chötso gave an excellent example. By going into Iraq, rather than defeating "the enemy," we've only made them multiply. Acting out with anger as a motivation will not solve any problem. Therefore, we need to first tame our own anger before addressing a situation. In general, our own motivation matters immensely. I recall one time I was at a meeting and some guy was talking on and on, and saying absurd things, generally frustrating everyone in the room. I got quite angry internally, and under the guise of saying something wise to preserve the integrity of the meeting, I said something which really has anger as a motivation. Well, before you know it, I got into an argument with another member of the group, and we had some bad blood between us. It turns out that he completely misunderstood me, and that's why he got in an argument with me, but now that i think about it, I'm not so sure he misunderstood my true intention. This looks like a case of ripening karma to me.

Okay, on to practice 21. I have a lot of trouble with this one too. For example, I just ate way too much for dinner, and, as usual, it didn't make me happy. There were perhaps a few moments of extra happiness as I stuffed more food down my throat, although these were not exactly sublime, but I felt unwell afterwards. Needless to say, the same is true for an alcoholic drink. The more I drink, the more I want to drink, and the worse I feel. I need to try to maintain more awareness of what I am doing so that I can avoid stuffing my face! I need to listen more carefully to the voice in my head that counsels moderation. Luckily, in the case of alcohol, I have a whole program at my disposal aimed at helping me not take the first drink. (By the way, everything in my life today depends on me not taking the first drink. Once I do, roll the dice. I could end up dead, in jail or I might end up running someone over. Even if these things don't happen, my misery will return in full force!)

Practice 22 is one of the deep aspects of Buddhism. As far as I understand this verse, it is describing emptiness. Geshe Drakpa Gelek mentioned that all of what we experience is created by the mind. We start out in a pristine state of the fundamental mind of clear light, which surrounds itself with various whistles and bells that coalesce into our perception of self. In an obvious sense, everything experienced is a product of our mind, since we can only perceive through the gates of our senses. On the other hand, I think that Geshe-la is saying something even more, which is that our minds create what we experience in a more direct sense. Perhaps one way to think of it is that actions of our mind before we are born cause us to be born in a certain place, and in a certain body, surrounded by certain circumstances. If we are not awake enough, the force of karma does most of the picking for us, but we can help choose our rebirth if we have a certain level of awareness. Also, according to a commentary I'm reading, "dualistic conceptions" refers to conceptions of perceiver and perceived.

Emptiness can also refer to the fact that pur conceptions of things are not accurate. Our idea that a table has solidity is incorrect. Further analysis reveals that it is made up of strange little particles, and is mostly empty space. Similar reasoning will show that any concept is wrong. :) Emptiness can further refer to the idea that no thing has inherent existence. No thing exists in and of itself with no dependence on outside phenomena.

Once we understand emptiness and make it part of our being, we can more easily deal with reality, because we understand it better. I can more easily stop myself from eating too much food, because I can recognize that the idea that eating a lot will make me happy is not an accurate representation of reality.

In the end, I still have a lot to learn about emptiness. I understand that one should meditate on it until one directly experiences it, and I suspect that it is hard to put it into words once it is experienced. I've possibly caught glimpses, but I'm just a newbie, so to speak.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 5

(15)
If in the middle of a crowd of people
Someone reveals your hidden faults and abuses you for them,
To see him as a spiritual friend and to bow with respect
Is the practice of a bodhisattva

(16)
If someone whom you cherish as dearly as your own child
Takes you for an enemy,
Then, like a mother whose child is sick, to love that person even more
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(17)
Even when someonw who is your equal or inferior
Driven by spite seeks to defame you
To place him on the crown of your head with the same respect you would accord your guru,
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(18)
Though gripped by poverty and always scorned,
Though stricken by disease and tormented by evil spirits,
To take upon yourself the negativity and suffering of every living being and never to get discouraged
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.


Practice 15 is fairly self-explanatory, and indeed you can make use of this person's maliciously revealing your faults by seizing the oppurtunity to examine those faults, and make plans to get rid of them. This is reality giving you a helping hand in being awake to your hidden self. It makes sense to honestly see this person as a spiritual friend, since they can help you to learn about yourself when you may not ever have done it alone. This was not their intention, but it is good to transform the evil intentions of others into something positive.

Practice 16 is very deep and quite meaningful to me.

Practice 17 is not something I thought I ever needed. I've never really encountered someone spitefully trying to sabotage my good name, but now that I think about it, I have encountered subtle instances of this. But it's good not to get an inflated image of oneself, so even if people have impure motives when they put you down, it's okay to utilize that as an antidote to an inflated ego.

In practice 18, I know some readers of this blog (not that there are many of you) won't like the reference to "evil spirits" since it sounds too supernatural. Well, I think it's okay to think of this as a reference to mental illness. Although Tibetan Buddhists do believe in evil spirits, the afflictions of our own mind are said to have much more of a direct effect. So the idea is, even when you're down and out, still to have such a depth of compassion for others, that you're still willing and able to take on their suffering. At the conventional level, this can correspond to helping others physically, even when you feel sick. It can also correspond to doing tong-len practice where you visualize taking on the suffering of others when you yourself are suffering.
I don't do tong-len practice regularly. I think this may be a kick in the ass for me to do it.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 4

(11)

All suffering comes from yearning for your own happiness.
The perfect Buddhas are born from the intention to benefit others.
Therefore to truly exchange your own happiness
For the suffering of others is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(12)

Even if someone driven by desire steals all your wealth
Or incites someone else to steal it.
To dedicate to this person your body, possessions,
And all your virtue of the three times
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(13)

If someone cuts off your head
Even when you have not done the slightest thing wrong,
Through the power of compassion
To take his misdeeds upon yourself
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(14)

Should someone slander you
Throughout a billion worlds,
With a heart full of love to proclaim his good qualities in return
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.


The eleventh practice here is related to the practice of tonglen. You visualize the negativities and suffering of others as a dark smoke emanating from their pores, which you breathe in an convert to pure white light which you return to them. The true Bodhisattva intention is to actually take on the suffering of others in this process. This is a hard one for me to accept. At a deep level, I'd rather that we are all happy, but highly realized bodhisattvas actually do take on other people's suffering. (An indication that Jesus is a bodhisattva?) According to the commentary I'm reading, the visualization of taking on other people's suffering is practice for the day you can actually do it! Geshe-la, the teacher at the retreat I'm attending, also mentioned tonglen practice today. Tonglen practice is useful, he said, because when you become sick and are suffering, you are already accustomed to the idea, and you might even desire more suffering in order to help others. From this perspective, I suppose that, although we are suffering physically and mentally from whatever disease we might have, we can transform that suffering. So tonglen is not ultimately a way of making us miserable, but of taking suffering (of others and of ourselves) and transforming it.

The twelfth practice is fairly self-explanatory and not too hard for me, personally, to accept. If someone steals from you, forgive them. Lama Karma Chötso, from whom I heard the 37 practices for the first time, related a story of a lama who was visiting Florida. He left his bike on the porch, and it was stolen. When someone pointed this out, the Lama said that it hadn't been stolen, but that he'd simply given the bike to someone he didn't know. Out of compassion it is important to let others know that you are giving away whatever was seemingly stolen. That way you can ameliorate the negative karma accumulated by the thieves.

Practice thirteen is similar but more difficult. Here we are to forgive and even help in a deep way those who intend us physical harm or even want to kill us. The Buddha gave up his life many times, but viewed it as an oppurtunity to gain merit, and eventually the merit accumulated caused him to become enlightened and attain Buddhahood. Thus when someone tries to harm us, we can view that person as a spiritual friend who is giving us the oppurtunity to gain merit. Here is a quote from the commentary:


When someone is trying to physically injure us, the practice is to meditate on patience for oneself and compassion for our enemy. Imagine a child who loves his mother very much. Suddenly, the mother goes crazy and begins to beat him because she is emotianally unbalanced. The child's affection makes it easier for him to respond patiently and compassionately to his mother, and to help her find a cure. Using this example, we can regard someone trying to harm us as our mother who has gone mad, and our attitude can be helpful.


The fourteenth practice is returning praise for slander. This is a good one for me, although I haven't really had the oppurtunity to practice it too earnestly. It is certainly best for my emotional well-being to return praise for slights. When I'm driving, especially long distance, I tend to get angry at other drivers for no reason whatsoever. This car is passing me, that car is going too slow, that one is driving funny, etc. The other drivers aren't showing me sufficient respect. I've found that an antidote to this weird hate that builds in my heart is to mentally apologize to those drivers I get angry at. I've also found that when a car races up and speeds past me, rather than being jealous, it is helpful to be happy at this accomplishment of a member of the human race. (Of course there are safety issues and so forth, but since I can't stop a person from speeding, it is better for me to cultivate sympathetic joy than useless anger.)

Well, time for me to close, for now. An interesting thing we learned about today is dream yoga, or clear light meditation. Geshe-la mentioned that one of the times in our lives that we experience our innate Buddha-nature, or clear-light mind is right before we fall asleep. (This resonated very strongly with me.) Therefore, great benefit is possible from cultivating this. To do this, basically you meditate as you fall asleep. There are many types of meditation, and he suggested meditating on emptiness as you fall asleep, but you could also meditate on a deity, such as Red Tara. I fully intend to incoporate this into my practice. All my life I've had a tendency to sleep a lot, and when I first heard about dream yoga as a possibility to sleep skillfully I was intrigued. Today was the first time I've ever heard it explained, and by a Geshe no less.

Peace, and may you have happiness and the root of happiness. May you be free from suffering and the root of suffering.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 3

(7)
Themselves captives in the prison of samsara,
Whom can the worldy gods protect?
Therefore, to seek refuge in those who do not deceive, The Three Jewels,
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(8)
The suffering of the lower realms, so difficult to bear,
Is the fruit of wrong deeds, so the Buddha taught.
Therefore, even at the cost of your life,
Never to commit negative actions is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(9)
Like dew on a blade of grass
Happiness in the three realms evaporates in a single instant.
To strive for the supreme state of liberation that never changes
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(10)
From beginningless time your mothers have cherished you.
If they now suffer, what good is your own happiness?
Therefore, in order to liberate limitless sentient beings,
Giving rise to bodhicitta is the practice of a bodhisattva.


The three jewels are the Buddha, the dharma and the sangha, where "dharma" refers to teachings and texts, the living doctrine, and "sangha" refers to lamas, teachers and fellow practitioners. It's interesting that this is the very deepest level of practice. We are not affirming commitment to a god, and I think when this was written, a god like Vishnu was what Trogme had in mind, but instead we are affirming commitment to the Buddha, the dharma and the sangha. Now when I say this, the thought occurs to me that the Buddha has been dead for 2500 years. What am I affirming commitment to? A simple answer is that I am respecting his life and teachings. At a deeper level, I would say that I am affirming commitment to my own inherent Buddha nature. I just attended a talk by Geshe Drakpa Gelek in which he mentioned that there are certain things common to all religions, such as a desire to cultivate kindness and compassion. He pointed out that compassion is a natural innate human tendency, which we can see manifested when we are children. As we grow older this inner goodness tends to get obscured, but this inner goodness, which we can see is present innately, is our Buddha nature. When we `take refuge' in the Buddha, we are affirming our desire to cultivate that inner goodness. This leads right into practice 10, developing bodhicitta. Bodhichitta is the heart of buddhism, it is the compassionate wish to help others. According to Buddhist mythology, every being was once our mother. Thus we should have compassion for every being as though they were our mother, no matter who that being is. It was pointed out by one teacher that we, in the west, tend to have neurotic relationships with our mothers, more so than in Tibet, for example. Thus, it might be better to visualize that every being has been a close friend instead.

Practice 8, relinquishing negative actions, is a tough one for me. I have dwelled on this a bit before, but the basic idea is that negative actions generate negative karma, which goes out into the world and causes suffering, both for myself and for others. Unfortunately my immediate desires often overcome my desire for long-term happiness, and I commit a negative action. The bodhisattva ideal is never to commit negative actions, even if it costs your life. Thus, if someone is about to kill you, and you have the option of killing them to stop them from doing so, the choice is clear. Give up your own life. Perhaps stupidly, I hope that my karma is good enough that I'll never be presented with such a difficult situation.

Practice 9, striving for unchanging liberation, is related to what I was just talking about: the idea that my desire for immediate gratification overcomes my desire for long-term happiness. The ultimate way to achieve true peace and happiness is to have less desire and more contentment. Geshe Drakpa Gelek in his talk mentioned that we humans all have a desire for money, for friends, and for good health. All of these things are necessary for happiness, he said, but if we go after any of them to excess, it will cause suffering. The key, he continually emphasized, is less desire and more contentment. That way you won't be constantly hungry, constantly desiring more. He told the following story to illustrate. Back in the time of the Buddha, someone found a "wish-fulfilling jewel," which is a jewel that will give the owner prosperity and other asked-for things. This person presented it to the Buddha as a gift. The Buddha then announced that he would give the jewel away to the poorest person in the country. So all the beggars from miles around rushed to the Buddha, fully expecting to be awarded the jewel, but the Buddha gave the jewel to the country's king. The country's king was the poorest because he was never content with anything he had. He always wanted more. This is a soul-sickness.

Well, I've gone on for a bit, haven't I? I guess I was inspired by Geshe-la. He was an inspiring speaker. He sat at the front of the room with a big smile on his face, and when he talked (in Tibetan) he used his right hand to gesticulate in front of his face. He then looked around the room as the translator gave the translation. Watching Geshe-la, and hearing his ideas, I was quite moved. Tonight's talk was open to the public. Tomorrow the retreat begins in earnest.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 2

(3)

Giving up negative places, mental afflictions gradually decrease.
With no distractions, virtuous activities naturally increase.
When mind becomes clear, certainty in the dharma is born.
To rely on solitude is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(4)

Old friends and relatives will separate.
Possessions gained with exertion will be left behind.
Consciousness, the guest, will leave the guesthouse of the body.
To let go of this life is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(5)

When friendship with someone causes the three poisons to increase,
Degrades the activities of listening, reflecting and meditating,
And destroys loving-kindness and compassion,
To give up such a friendship is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(6)

When in reliance on someone your defects wane,
And your positive qualities grow like the waxing moon,
To cherish such a spiritual friend more than your own body
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.


Here's a short-and-sweet analysis:

(3): Avoid bad places. Seek good places.

(4): Don't be attached to your life and body. You're going to have to give it up eventually.*

(5,6); Avoid those who are a bad influence. Seek those who are a good influence.

*Speaking of dying, I used to want to be cremated after I die, since that's so much easier and less expensive. Reflecting on my role in the world, though, I think it would be neat to have my body disposed of in a traditional Tibetan way: letting it be fed to the vultures. In this way, I would be giving my body in an act of generosity back to the earth. Even in death, I would be helping other sentient beings. By being cremated, I wouldn't be as much benefit, disappearing in a puff of greenhouse gases and other toxic byproducts coming from the embalming chemicals.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva

Lama Karma Chötso gave a teaching at our center about the 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva several months ago, which I feel was an answer to my "seventh step prayer" to be rid of my character defects. I think it would be profitable to go through this text, composed by the monk Trogme, on this blog. It starts out with a few introductory stanzas:


Namo Lokeshvaraya.

You see that all phenomena neither come nor go.
Still you strive soley for the benefit of beings.
Supreme guru and protector Chenrezi,
To you I continually bow with body, speech and mind.

The perfect Buddhas sources of benefit and happiness
arise from accomplishing the genuine dharma.
Since that in turn depends on knowning how to practice
The practices of a bodhisattva will be explained.


Chenrezi is another name for the bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara, whose inspiration Trogme cultivates in composing these verses. A natural question concerns why we should bow to Chenrezi. In Buddhism, when we bow to a teacher, we are not worshipping the teacher as a God, but rather are showing our respect for their teaching. Thich Nhat Hanh has said that even though we respect teachers, we have a responsibility to think about what they say, and ask them questions if there is something we don't understand or don't believe. It is important when doing this that we are questioning the teaching and not the teacher, he says.


(1)
Now that you have obtained the precious human body
The great boat so difficult to find,
In order to free yourself and others from the ocean of samsara,
To listen, reflect and meditate with diligence day and night
Is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(2)
Passion towards friends churns like water.
Hatred towards enemies burns like fire.
Through dark ignorance one forgets what to adopt and what to reject.
To abandon one's homeland is the practice of a bodhisattva.


As we see in the first stanza, our goal as bodhisattvas is to liberate all sentient beings, including ourselves, from "samsara," which is the world of our habit patterns, as the Khenpos say. It is the world of karma; the world of the unawakened. In the second stanza, we realize that strong attachment, positive or negative, to people can disrupt our spiritual life, and that leaving one's homeland can actually be a good thing, as it allows you to cultivate equanimity more easily.

35 more to come!

Wonderful movie

I recently saw the documentary Rivers and tides about the art of Andy Goldsworthy. I highly recommend it. I've rarely been so touched by works of art. Goldsworthy creates sculptures within nature, which are then taken by nature and transformed. In the opening sequence, he creates an elaborate wooden sculpture from driftwood on the Newfoundland coast, which is taken and picked apart by the ocean when the tide comes in. The first thing one wants to say is that the ocean destroys his creation, but as he explains, the ocean takes it and does something with it far beyond what he himself could do. It is just so wonderful to repeatedly witness him spend an enormous amount of effort to make something which will last for such a short amount of time, to see how deeply in tune he is with the natural world, and to see how clearly he perceives and celebrates the transitory nature of phenomena. Add this to your Netflix queue. Do it. Now.

Put your dharma where your heart is!

I'll be heading up to Nyamgal Monastery in upstate New York next week to attend a weekend retreat on "Overcoming the fear of death: the bardo journey and rebirth." It sounds fascinating and I will report back to y'all what I find out. Speaking of teachings,
we heard part two of a talk by a Buddhist nun, whose name I can't now remember, at our center today. She pointed out that dharma practice needs to be part of our being, that we shouldn't meditate for half an hour or an hour each day, and then go about our lives in the same way we've always done it. We need to carry the dharma into our lives and practice it continuously. Indeed, the happenings of life are the only way we can make spiritual progress. The practice of awareness is key, she said. Constantly bring our attention back to the present moment. Try to do it as many times as possible throughout the day. Eventually, this starts to happen spontaneously, and the time you spend with your awareness completely in the present becomes longer and longer. Once it happens continuously, you are a Buddha. She gave the example of eating. When we eat something we like, the first few bites, we are kind of in the present moment. We might make judgments about the food, like "This is pretty good," or "This is not as good as last time," which are sort of in the present moment, but really we are caught up in our ideas about the food, and are not experiencing it directly. Then, after those first few bites, we are completely away from the present moment, thinking of all sorts of things completely unrelated to what we are directly experiencing. Once something clicks into place in ourselves, and we begin to find it natural to identify with the knower and not the known, a whole shift in our inner psychic world takes place, she said. To cultivate that continuous awareness, we can practice awareness of our body and our breath. These are easy things to return the mind's awareness to throughout the day. They are also excellent focuses of meditation, but the point is that it is not enough to sit. We have to carry that awareness into whatever we're doing in the present moment.

Two doodles

I'm not sure which version I like better, so I posted these both.

My Pokemon Species

I have a good friend who has an intense fascination with Pokemon, and he convinced me to take the test. Now I know what my species is!

Vacuous deer tick update: final

The test results for Lyme disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and the like came back: negative, negative, negative, negative.

That's the kind of negative karma I like!

Tara and Karma redux

An excerpt from a prayer to Tara:

From the ripening of karma caused by delusion, grant the blessing that shields, protects and conceals.

Here is some commentary by Chagdud Khadro:

"[This] reminds us that all karma is caused by delusion. For one completely beyond delusion, remaining within the mind's natural awareness, phenomena arise and subside in and of themselves without karmic traces---as Chagdud Rinpoche sometimes says, like `writing on water.'

"A question often asked is why one should pray for the blessing that conceals one from one's own karma. Consider the fact that we have experienced countless cycles of existence, that we cannot remember them (most people cannot even clearly remember their childhood) and cannot know what kind of karma we have created until it ripens. When we begin spiritual practice and the purification of negative karma, we pray that past karma does not suddenly ripen and create massive obstacles that we cannot overcome at our level of practice.

"For example, one of the karmic results of killing is a short life. Who of us can say that in past lives we have never been a soldier caught in the violence of war, or a hunter, or a bird of prey? If the full force of the karma of such a rebirth were to intervene, we might die before our connection to spiritual practice could become well established. Death's interruption of life would then represent a lost or greatly delayed oppurtunity and much more suffering. We request protection and concealment until karmic obstacles are within the reach of our ability to purify them and can become a source of realization rather than of samsaric suffering.

"We should not make this request in th expectation that obstacles will never appear. The very nature of human rebirth is that of sickness, old age and death, and even great bodhisattvas are subject to these conditions. However, their experience of illness is very different from that of an ordinary person or even a less realized practitioner. For them obstacles arise and subside within the sphere of nondual awareness; their ability to purify obstacles benefits all living beings."

---

This passage means a lot more to me now than it did a couple of weeks ago. I think that through my Red Tara practice, I have been able to see the karma ripening in my life. Surely this karma has been ripening all the time, but I have not had the wisdom to see the karmic source in my own actions. I also think that by clearly perceiving the connection between the karmic fruit and the karmic seed, I am thereby purifying the karma. There are a couple of very specific events in my life I am thinking about, but for various reasons I won't go in to detail. However, the events coming from the ripened karma are not events that I can't handle, so I believe that Tara is helping me to purify my karma by causing it to ripen fairly quickly (which allows me on the one hand to more easily see it's source, and on the other hand to make more rapid spiritual progress), but also preventing the karmic consequences from erupting in an intense conflagration.

Some photos from yesterday's hike

Thanks to Dan for taking these photos.

Another fine hike

As regular readers of this blog may have surmised, I go hiking regularly on Tuesdays. Today I went with a Buddhist friend of mine. As we approached the trailhead there were half a dozen cars pulled over on the side with people looking up and pointing. We stopped and looked to see what the fuss was about. There were three black bears high up in the tree, probably somewhere between 20 and 30 feet. One of them had his snout braced right in a notch, looking straight down at everybody rather lazily. A little bit up the road there was a bear feeding about 10 feet from the road. I've run across bears before, but never so many at once, and I've never seen them up so high in a tree.

We chatted a lot about various things, with my explaining my reluctance to believe in the supernatural. I am going to be attending a retreat at a Buddhist monastery two weekends from now in a city where I used to live. The funny thing is that I had no idea that I was living right next to such an active Buddhist center when I was there, and it was only after moving that I found the dharma. So I mentioned to my friend that a Lama must have smiled on me when I was there, and he pointed out that this was supernatural thinking. I must admit that I do have many supernatural type thoughts, but whenever I get into an extended analysis, I tend to discount them. (By the way, when I say "supernatural" I'm referring to what is conventionally referred to that way. Things like invisible spirits, reincarnation, the power to turn someone toward the dharma through a smile.) I have had spiritual experiences, just like that strong connection with Tara that I mentioned. After having read Thich Nhat Hanh's excellent book Living Buddha, Living Christ, as I was falling asleep I heard a subtle voice tell me: "You have let yourself be suffused with the Holy Spirit. I'm proud of you." I felt such an intense peace after that. It was quite remarkable. It may be worth pointing out that Thich Nhat Hanh's main thesis was that the Holy Spirit is very akin to the idea of Buddha nature.

I guess the spiritual aspect for me disappears if I think about it too much. I used to find this type of statement offensive. My commentary would be: well that's because you're too afraid to face the truth, so you don't think things through. It's like someone wants to say complacent in their ignorance, so they purposely avoid facts which run contrary to their worldview. However, I think there's a difference, especially as I affect others. By taking the spiritual path, I am attempting to transform my negativity and unhappiness, converting it into a positive effect on the world. I hope I'm not using spirituality as an excuse to stick my head in the ground, but rather as a way to help myself and others at the same time. One of the things that really hooked me about Buddhism was the Bodhisattva vow I read in the Diamond Sutra:

"However many beings there are in whatever realms of being might exist, whether they are born from an egg or born from a womb, born from the water or born from the air, whether they have form or no form, whether they have perception or no perception or neither perception nor no perception, in whatever conceivable realm of being one might conceive of beings, in the realm of complete nirvana I shall liberate them all. And though I thus liberate countless beings, not a single being is liberated."

The spiritual foundation of Buddhism is the altruistic wish to benefit others. That's certainly not sticking your head in the ground! Also notice the little proviso at the end. This is a reference to developing wisdom or prajna, the ability to see the true nature of things. To be of maximum benefit to other beings, you need wisdom.

So, even if I'm fuzzy on the exact spiritual mechanics, I feel that my path is a good one.

Exit from samsara?

In a comment to a recent post, anonymous said that he didn't think anyone could escape from the cycle of samsara without a lot of help. That sounds true to me. In Buddhism, we go to three sources for help: the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. The Buddha and other highly realized beings that have come before us have had great compassion, and have left us with teachings and tools which we can use to transcend the cycle of samsaric suffering. Teachers alive today are precious and help to spread the dharma. They give us tools we can use, but ultimately we need to have the will to use them. I have heard many excellent things from such teachers, usually prodding me out of my self-complacent peace. In fact, we heard an excellent talk today at our center by a remarkable Buddhist nun.

One of the teachings that is propagated in Tibetan Buddhism is deity practice, like the Red Tara practice. When we were practicing today, I felt joyful and happy, as though I had an abiding connection with this female Buddha Arya Tara, who has such depth of compassion, that she vows to help all sentient beings who even mention her name. She responds to requests to help people in the bardo find a fortunate rebirth. No wonder Chagdud Rinpoche introduced this practice to Westerners, I thought. Tara really seems to be playing the role of Jesus (or Mary?) in Christian traditions.

But then there's a part of the ceremony where it says Tara's form dissolves into the natural sphere of emptiness: AH AH AH. Your mind rests in this state of natural awareness for the duration of the meditation session; then you reappear spontaneously in the form of Tara. Appearances are perceived purely as the body of the deity, sounds as the speech of the deity, and thoughts as the mind of the deity. this perception of pure phenomena is held as extensively as possible throughout the day.

This is a significant difference. Here we recognize that Tara is not ultimately real. Like all other concepts, she is a raft to be discarded once we've used it to cross a river. That's my interpretation of why we visualize her dissolving. However, as we cannot at this stage live beyond concepts all the time, at some point we bring her visualization back, as an important method of improving ourselves and guiding our behavior.

It's as if when praying to Jesus, you were to transcend the concept of Jesus, gaining access to a much wider mental space.

Two photos from a recent hike

These are from my hike this past Tuesday. I figured since I'd seen a rat snake and then a rattlesnake on two successive hikes, that bringing a camera might be a good idea. I didn't see any snakes, but I did run across this red-spotted newt, which, according to wikipedia, is one of the most common salamander species in North America.

Karma etc.

The following is a quote from Red Tara Commentary: Instructions for the Concise Practice Known as Red Tara: An Open Door to Ultimate Awareness by Chagdud Khadro (Jane Tromge)


Next, these dualistic tendencies bring about fictitious formations, both elemental and mental, of self and grosser projections of other. As the whole mind-body makeup becomes increasingly dense, beings take rebirth after rebirth in bodies that correspond to the tendencies that develop in their mindstreams. They are subject to the karmic outcomes created by these tendencies, but, lost in the patterns of dualistic confusion, they are unable to trace karmic events back to their source in the mind. In their ignorance, they attribute tragedies to blows of fate, unexpected triumphs to luck. They do not see that all aspects of their situation, including the bodies they inhabit, have been self-created over countless lifetimes.

The dualistic mind, the mind that grasps at self and gives self-interest priority over the interests of others, arises as the five poisons, which in turn leas to six types of rebirth: ignorance leading to rebirth as an animal, greed to rebirth as a hungry spirit, anger to rebirth as a hell being, jealousy combined with some virtue to rebirth as a jealous god (also known as a demigod), pride combined with virtue to rebirth as a long-lived god (deva) and great virtue combined with a mixture of all five poisons to rebirth as a human.


Well, first of all, smile! You've been born as a human. That means you have accumulated great virtue in past lives. I love the way Chagdud Khadro says that humans have accumulated "great virtue," whereas devas have accumulated only virtue, and demigods have only "some virtue." Already, as humans, our oppurtunities abound.

This passage is difficult for me, because I am not predisposed to accept reincarnation as literally true, nor am I predisposed to accept the existence of devas and hungry ghosts and the other classes of sentient being as literally true. (Excepting animals and humans, I suppose.) And, according to Buddhist thinking, I shouldn't accept them until I come to believe them for solid reasons. I know when Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of reincarnation, he speaks of it much more in the way we live on after we die. How our elements are recycled, and how our behavior has ramifications. In an event, it would be helpful to me to try to interpret these paragraphs more metaphorically.

The following sentence may provide some clues:

...[L]ost in the patterns of dualistic confusion, they are unable to trace karmic events back to their source in the mind. In their ignorance, they attribute tragedies to blows of fate, unexpected triumphs to luck.

Perhaps one way to think of this is that a tragedy is a tragedy only if we perceive it as a tragedy, and an unexpected triumph is only so if we perceive it to be so. If we create the impression that tragedies and unwelcome events are, in fact, cruel blows of fate, we create suffering for ourselves. On the other hand, it is possible for such events to be regarded as teachers. When something that seems bad happens, one can ask oneself, "What can I learn from this?" Similarly, with the wisdom to see through tragedies, one also sees through triumphs. For me, I tend to get to connected to the triumphs, some might even say addicted to the triumphs. Only they are triumphs as conceived by me in my ignorance. If only things were this way, I will be happy. If only I achieve this goal, life will be good. When these "triumphs" fail to come to pass, I can get bitter and resentful, all because I ignorantly invested so much of myself in an illusion. I think it's good to let life flow, not being too attached to outcomes.

Here's a fascinating sentence:

They do not see that all aspects of their situation, including the bodies they inhabit, have been self-created over countless lifetimes.

In the Buddhist philosophy of emptiness, one realizes that nothing real is self-created. There is no separately existing "me" which exists entirely of my own creation. "I" am interconnected with the entire universe, in many complicated ways. So I guess what this implies is that tragedy and triumph are not truly real. This makes sense since these really are subjective concepts. And what of the fact that our bodies are self-created? I wonder what she means here. Certainly our perception of our bodies is not completely accurate, so that the mental construct we identify with our bodies is not real. I have a feeling there's something deeper that I'm missing. In the next paragraph, she describes how various mental poisons actually give rise to rebirth in various types of bodies, so that our mental activity now affects the body we live in the future. Wow! That makes quite a bit of sense! Actually our behavior now really does affect our future body, in all manner of ways. For example, being very bitter all the time can indeed have a deleterious effect on one's health. I do know that my feeling of well-being is closely tied to my mental state.

I'll bet there's a lot more to be dug up here. Comments welcome!

Vacuous deer tick update

So I went into the doctor this past Tuesday, because I spotted a small bullseye rash at one of the tick bites. As this is characteristic of Lyme disease, I rushed to get it checked out. The place was extremely busy, and so I had to wait a while. When I showed the P.A. the rash, he said "You don't mean this little thing here?" Apparently, although it was a bullseye, and he couldn't say for sure that it wasn't Lyme disease, he was pretty sure that it wasn't. Since I had been bitten so many times, he put me on the antibiotic doxycycline and had blood drawn for tests of several tick-borne diseases. Wednesday morning I woke up with an itchy rash. At first I though this was the tick bites getting inflamed, but after getting the rash on parts of my body that had never been bitten, I figured it was an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. So I called the doctor and they had me get my butt in there. The PA wasn't a hundred percent sure whether the rash was a tick reaction or a reaction to the medicine. He ordered a fast blood test to see what my white cells were doing. My blood test came back fairly normal, and it seemed unlikely that I had a bacterial infection. We still have to wait for the blood tests that were ordered Monday to come back. So they shot me up with a dose of the antiflammatory decadron to counteract allergic shock, and gave me a few alavert samples. He's having me wait until the blood tests arrive to see whether I need to take some other antibiotic.

Killing?

In the last post someone asked about killing animals, such as the deer tick, and what types of life are considered sacred to Buddhists. This is a deep and rich topic.

Plant life is not considered bad to kill because it is not sentient. Anything with volition is sacred. This includes deer ticks, ants, mosquitos, and the like. It is impossible for us not to kill, just by our very existence. But that doesn't mean we can't try to do as little as possible. His Holiness the Dalai Lama is not a vegetarian because he gets jaundice unless he eats meat. His take is that, even if you cannot be a vegetarian, you can at least be joyful that there are those of us who can. I felt remorse at taking the lives of the deer ticks. The truth is that I didn't know what else to do, and I was so overcome with the desire to get rid of them, that the idea of somehow letting them live never took hold. This is a signal to me that I am not as advanced as I'd like to be. I did not maintain my detachment. Here's another example. A couple of weeks ago I went for a hike up in the mountains. (This is when I saw the rat snake.) I meditated in a little side valley off of the main trail. Right in the middle of my meditation, a mosquito landed on my hand. I watched as it inserted its needle-nose into my skin. I let it, figuring it was best not to kill. Unfortunately, the longer is stayed, sucking my blood, the more agitated I got. I finally brought it up to my face to look closely, and its abdomen had turned ruby red. I experienced an extreme revulsion, but I had the compassion to blow on it to signal it to fly away. So it did, but it continued to buzz around, and finally it landed on my shirt. Having lost all patience, I killed it. I really regret it now. Perhaps I can do better in the future.

We humans are lucky because we have the choice not to kill. Many animals, especially predators, are not so lucky. It is their nature to kill, and in so doing, they create negative karma, just like the negative karma created by my vengeful mosquito murder. In Buddhist mythology, there are 6 realms of samsara: the realm of humans, the realm of animals, the realm of hungry ghosts, the hell realms, the realm of jealous Gods (demigods), and the realm of Gods. Buddhas have completely transcended all of these realms. Depending on the karma you create in this and past lives, you are reborn in a different realm. The human realm is an auspicious realm because we have the capability of transforming negative karma through our spiritual practice. In other words, we can turn suffering into progress. We can use obstacles as teachers. If your karma is too negative, you are reborn as an animal, and it can take you eons to escape, because you keep creating more negative karma. Hungry ghosts and the hell realms are even more negative. The jealous Gods and Gods are more positive, but their egos get bloated, and they can't see beyond their ignorance. It is said that a God lives in extreme luxury. All his or her wants are fulfilled, and they live in extreme happiness and contentment. This is because of great virtue in previous lives. Unfortunately, they are wasting this positive karma, completely burning it off for self-centered debauchery, if you will. I think that 7 days before a God dies, they realize they are going to die, and they experience intense suffering in those last days. Having burned off their positive karma, they are reborn in a lower realm. Humans have the power to transcend the cycle of samsaric suffering by following the bodhisattva path, which means: 1)Having genuine compassion for all sentient beings, like people, including those we usually ignore or dislike, like mosquitoes, like deer ticks. 2)Having true perception of the nature of reality, that nothing exists independently from other things and from our conceptualization.

I would like to mention something Alexander Berzin, H.H. the Dalai Lama's translator has pointed out. Namely, in being kind to insects, we shouldn't neglect other human beings. It would be outrageous indeed to go to elaborate lengths to rescue an ant from drowning, but then to turn away someone at your door asking for help.

Hitchhikers

As I was meditating last night and this morning, I kept feeling itches on my legs and hips. I thought they might be some kind of bug, like fleas. However, when I looked closely, I didn't see anything. Just a few minutes ago, I happened to look down and see a very tiny critter crawling along the surface of my leg. It looked like some kind of mite. That's strange, I thought. What on earth is it? As I stared at it, eventually recognition dawned. It's a tick! A deer tick, famous for being about the size of a period at the end of a sentence. I immediately investigated the site of a particularly intense itch that I had momentarily experienced earlier. What do you know? There were about 15 of the little guys all attached, kind of like particles of pepper. I pulled as many as I could find off using tweezers. Without hyperbole I can say there were around 50 total attached mostly to my legs. (Some made there way to my torso and arms.) What an interesting price to pay for visiting such a remote trail yesterday! Seeing these little guys, I realized I could easily have been bitten countless times in the past and never noticed. Apparently most people who've been bitten by a deer tick never realize it. Unfortunately, deer ticks are the lyme disease bearers, so I'm going to go see a doctor tomorrow, in case they want to dose me up with antibiotics. I live in a low risk area, but I was bitten 50 times. Gadzooks!

Nice Hike

I went for a nice hike today. The weather was beautiful, and I got to see some grand scenery. As I was walking back to my car along a dirt road I came upon a juvenile timber rattlesnake. It didn't have any rattles yet, but its head was definitely a rattlesnake's head, and its markings were rattlesnake markings. As I got close, it puffed out the part of its body behind its head. It was small, and its body tapered pretty quickly from the width of its head to its tale, giving it the appearance of a long triangle. To tell the truth, it was pretty strange looking.

Last week I went for a hike and saw a 4-foot rat snake. I thought it wasn't aware of me, but when I did some research afterward, I realized that its body was kinked, a classic stress response in these snakes. They often do this when they see people, apparently. (Thanks to wikipedia!)

Incorrect Thinking

That person over there
Is not like me.
She doesn't understand
an extremenly subtle point.
She doesn't have
The same understanding that I have.
I could explain this point
But you wouldn't understand either.

That person over there
is not like me.
His motivation is impure.
Look how he struts about,
looking for worldy approval.
He is beneath my contempt.
I hope he gets run over.

Those people over there
are not like me.
Look how they cluster together.
They all dress alike.
They are not interested
in the world outside their sphere.
They are so shallow
and vapid.

That person over there is just like me.
Someone should put him out of his misery.

Off topic? Probably.

I just sent the movie, Primer back to Netflix, after watching it three times, and reading a Wikipedia article on it. It is a great, artful, time travel movie. However, the plot was very hard to follow the first time through, and by the second time more details fell into place. I really needed to read the Wikipedia explanation of the plot before it all came together for me. One of my favorite parts of the movie involves the two main characters Abe and Aaron traveling backward in time in two boxes they have constructed. The box allows you to ride in it backward until you get to the time when the box was originally turned on. You see Abe stumble out of his Box, and then after a few seconds Aaron stumbles out of his. Abe says to Aaron that he got out of the box too soon! Hee hee. This is the sort of detail that is missed by most time travel movies I have seen, and these things tend to get muddled in books as well.

There are two basic approaches to Time Travel, which I will whimsically refer to as the "Back to the Future" approach, and the
"Twelve Monkeys" approach. In the former, it is possible to go back and change the past. You will not read about yourself in a history book before leaving on your journey. Time travel makes changes to the time line possible. This is probably the most confusing type of time travel, and is exactly the sort of thing that happens in Primer. The "Twelve Monkeys" approach holds that you cannot change the past because it's already happened. Thus you could read about yourself appearing in a time machine in a newspaper from 5 years ago before you actually do it. There is a wonderful short story, "By His Bootstraps," by Robert Heinlein that explores this theme.