Attachment to Dharmas

The state of enlightenment is free of attachment. Yet foolish people remain attached. 'Foolish people' are empty of self-nature, and thus are not foolish people. `Enlightenment' is empty of self nature, and is thus not enlightenment.

I'm riffing here on the theme of the Diamond Sutra, the genesis of this blog, which I have been reading over the past several days. All things are empty of self nature, which is a startling way of saying something obvious. Namely, when you look closely at things, they lose their characteristics. When you look closely at a chair, you don't see little chairs, or elements of chair-nature. Looking closely at the chair, the chair completely disappears. It is the same with all concepts, including, very importantly, the self. When you look closely at the self, it disappears! This is true of everything, including enlightenment. However, this does not mean you can't sit in a chair or attain enlightenment. Indeed, the empty nature of things allows them to exist and be interacted with. If a chair had a core reality of chairness, then it could not be sit in, because it could not change. Nothing could penetrate the solid core, for if they could, it would not be solid. In the same way, if all of the seeming obstructions to Buddhahood (enlightenment) were inherently real, they could not be overcome. Since they are illusory, they can be overcome. If one pursues Buddhahood, attached to a goal, Buddhahood remains obscured. Thus one can say it doesn't really exist. Yet if one approaches it without a goal, without the thought that "I liberate beings," then it will be achieved.

The idea of being attached to dharmas came up for me last night while attending an A.A. meeting. The way the meeting works is that we go in order around the room and everyone shares. I realized that after I had shared, in my mind, I took ownership of what I shared, of the dharmas I had released into the room. As people after me started sharing their own stories and ideas, I noticed myself scrutinizing their words for approval or criticism of "my" dharmas. Yet I needn't be attached. In doing so, I am certainly attached to a self, which doesn't exist. So it is a pointless cause of suffering. In the room, we each share, but it is not for our own ego, but for the benefit of all in the room. In the A.A. rooms, there is no cross-talk, no arguments between people when sharing. One person may share, and later on someone may disgaree, but it is not a back-and-forth argument. Even if there is a misunderstanding, there is no pressure to resolve it. Everyone releases their dharmas to the room, weaving a tapestry of which no-one can claim ownership.

Happy August

I went to another meeting last night. I did run into the issue of self-censorship, although I did share as best I could. Talking with someone after the meeting, he pointed out that the eleventh step explicitly mentions meditation, and he encouraged me to share honestly. His point was maybe someone needs to hear my experience. This guy is really wonderful. He gave me a book by Sogyal Rinpoche several months ago, and he meditates during the meetings. I'll have to think more on it. If it feels right, at some point I may share more directly my thoughts and feelings, rooted as they are in Buddhism. I do want to make sure the motive is right. My motive could easily devolve into defense of intellectual territory. Indeed last night, as I was listening to a woman share about how her urge to drink was lifted almost instantaneously after praying to God, and how she ascribes this to her higher power working in her life, I was definitely moved. But, I noticed the wheels of my mind spinning, trying to reinterpret the event within a comfortable framework. (I.e. `Maybe that wasn't God working. Maybe it was a ripening of past good karma, etc etc.') However, my motive in this case was indeed defensive. Not content to let it be, I desired to interpret the world in my image. This is not Buddhist at all. It is a sign of attachment to concepts. So I decided I had no need to reinterpret. This woman had her experience, it helped her, she's sober, and that's that.

Another thing that struck me about last night's meeting is the amount of wisdom present there. As we went around the table, a lot of people said some very deep things. Simple but deep.