A Quote by Shantideva

Whatever joy there is in this world
All comes from desiring others to be happy,
And whatever suffering there is in this world
All comes from desiring myself to be happy.

Autobigraphy in 5 chapters (Portia Nelson)

I came across the following poem, which struck a real chord with me, while reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. (An amazing book, by the way.)


1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

Bad dream

Last night, for the first time in about 10 years, I had a nightmare which woke me up and left me terrified. I'm not really sure why the dream occurred when it did. I was in a room, there were some alien greys on the stairs and bunch of people in the room. I felt no threat from these aliens, and I asked "Are these 'visitors?'" and the response was "no," although someone mentioned that "Jesus was a visitor." I got the distinct impression that "visitors" were a subset of the alien greys, a particularly powerful and dangerous subset. Then I dreamed I was in my bed, and I was being pulled up. I continuously recited the Buddhist refuge prayer as an antidote: "I take refuge in the Buddha, dharma and Sangha. By the virtuous merit that I collect, may I be attain Buddhahood, to benefit all sentient beings." My legs were being pulled upward, but my torso was staying in place. Then I dreamt I woke up, and I saw a tiny figure fleeing down the hall. I felt like I had the upper hand now, and I chased it. Then it became a rather menacing alien head which fell down the stairs where I chased it. I kicked it, and then picked it up, feeling like it was dead and defeated. I went outside, where there were some people in the parking lot. I showed them the alien head, and one of the people put it on top of her head as a joke. I began to get worried that it still had power, so I suggested we destroy it. I suggested we cut it up with scissors, but then I realized it had them under its control now, because they attacked me, although not in a particularly violent way. Then I woke up, terrified. Lying in my bed, I felt scared to open my eyes in case there was an alien there. As I was lying there, I came to the conclusion that this alien was an actual creature, perhaps not corporeal, with whom I had some kind of karmic debt. Like a good bodhisattva, I made the aspiration that the suffering I was experiencing be sufficient for all sentient beings. But then I became so frightened at that prospect, I started arguing with myself and part of my mind said "I was just joking." Anyway, it's pretty anticlimactic from there. I did eventually fall asleep.

The alien grey was always a very disturbing image to me, and I've had some nightmares before involving them, though as I mentioned this was many years ago. When I was really young, I had a dream about a giant glowing skeleton which scared me in exactly the same way. I think this skeleton and the grey are the same archetype in my unconscious mind. As for the question of why? What does it mean? What does the grey represent? I don't really know. It's a very powerful symbol in my mind, and I have some guesses, but I don't really know. Before I went to bed, I had been thinking about this alien symbol (not frightened at all) and I was wondering why I had found it so disturbing in the past. I thought it was something I could ask Lama Norlha Rinpoche. Then, lo and behold, I had a dream about it. Makes you think.

Meditation methods

There are many, many types of meditation. One major distinction is between calm, abiding meditation ( shinay or shamatha), and analytic meditation ( vipassana or insight meditation). Once one practices shinay for a while, one's mind is clear and stable enough to engage in insight meditation. The root is shinay, and I'd like to describe a few basic shinay techniques for the possible benefit of my readers.

The first type is called shinay with a focus. First sit in meditation posture if you can, or sit in a chair with your back upright and straight otherwise. You can have your hands rest on your knees, or in your lap, often with the right hand cradled in the left. Choose an object of your focus. For example, it can be a candle flame or a sacred image. Now keep your attention loosely on that object. Whenever you find your mind has wandered, bring it gently back to the object. Although this seems easy, it's not, because the mind very easily wanders away. The meditation trains us to be mindful. Whenever we notice our focus has been lost, we give our mind something concrete to do: bring it back to the focus. Do this or some form of shinay for at least 20 minutes a day. If you just do it sporadically, it will help on the day you do it, but will have no lasting effect. It would be like attempting to boil water by turning the burner on for a few minutes every few days.

The second type of meditation is called shinay without a focus. Sit in meditation posture as before, the only difference being that your eyes are half-open (as opposed to fully open.) They can be closed if you want. Now the idea is to let your mind rest in emptiness without conceptualization. Whenever you notice that you are thinking, let go of the thoughts and bring the mind back to a state of emptiness. This meditation also trains the mind in minfdulness, it trains us to be aware of our thoughts. When we see that we have a thought, that's the important point. Then we let it go, don't follow after it, don't let it carry us away in a dense conceptual web. Just let it go and repeat. Although experienced meditators can let their minds rest without distraction in a natural state of empty awareness for hours and days, beginners like us will find that thought arise almost continuously. Over time the gaps between thoughts will lengthen, however.

The third type of meditation lies somewhere in between the first two. Here you focus on the breath. Whenever your attention wanders, and you notice it has wandered, you gently bring it back to the breath. You can count breaths, say up to 10, and keep repeating. You can also internally say the mantra OM AH HUNG synchronized with the breath, so that when you breathe in you think "OM", when you pause ever-so-slightly before breathing out you think "AH" and when you breathe out you think "HUNG." One of my favorite meditations is to combine this focus on the breath with a meditation on compassion (bodhicitta). When you breathe in, imagine that all the afflictions and suffering of sentient beings are drawn in to your nose in the form of black smoke. It collects at you heart center, where it is transformed into white light, which you then breathe out, purifying all sentient beings of their sufferings.

I am grateful to Lama Norlha Rinpoche for teaching me these methods, and giving me permission to teach them to others. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask.