More Spiritual Materialism

My Padmasambhava statue arrived. It looks great, but for balance I need another statue. I ordered the above pictured 11-headed 1000-armed Avalokitsehvara. Avalokiteshvara was a student of Buddha Shakyamuni. The extra heads and arms are metaphorical, but they look cool.

A Buddhist Seventh Step Prayer

Here is the Seventh Step Prayer as it comes out of "the Big Book."

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, the good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

I rewrote it to have a more Buddhist feel:

Buddhas, bodhisattvas, enlightened beings in the ten directions,
I ask for help, willingness and strength
To remove those defects of character whose extinction
Will be of maximum benefit to all sentient beings.
I take refuge in enlightened dharma teachings.
Objects of refuge, please abide with stability in my heart.

TAYATA GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE BODHI SVAHA

The last line is the mantra of the Perfection of Wisdom (Prajnaparamita) and records the path to enlightenment. Loosely it means: beyond, gone beyond, gone completely beyond, gone utterly beyond, enlightenment, hooray!

Speaking of character defects, I realized last night, although it's not a huge surprise, that one of the biggies for me right now is judgmentalism. I really have a tendency to search for the flaws in people, and when I've finally found them, illusory or not,
I use them to justify a dismissive attitude. Of course, now that I'm a practicing Buddhist, I'm the sort of person I would have been highly dismissive of at an earlier, angrier stage of my life. Hee hee.

No Title Needed, although one has been supplied

Found this turtle wandering around in my back yard after a rain. They like to come out right after it rains because there's more food around to eat. (I think they might eat worms.)

...and this.

The store owner finally called and she's sending me the above-pictured 6-inch statue. It is one of the best Padmasambhava statues I've seen. A lot of them are painted with gold paint, and have their features painted on in a way that I personally don't find aesthetically pleasing. I like the subtle coloration of this one.

Also, my thangka is in transit. I'm watching it's progress from New Delhi via its UPS tracking number. Spiritual materialism, how exciting!

Just bought this, I hope

After agonizing for hours about which thangka to buy, I selected the one above, depicting the wheel of life mentioned in my las post. It should arrive in 5 to 7 days. I've also been trying to buy a statue of Guru Rinpoche (also known as Padmasambhava), but the first one I tried to buy turned out to have been already sold to someone else, and the second one I've tried to buy seems to be encountering an unresponsive store owner. I'm still hopeful about it. It's a beautiful statue.

A gift that grows with time

For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. -A.A. Daily Reflection, June 26

When I heard these words read yesterday, I couldn't stop myself from snickering. For they describe alcohol as exactly opposite to the way I think of it. Maybe when I started out, these words applied. I did have the idea that I couldn't enjoy a party without drinking, and to some extent this was actually true. I've always been incredibly shy and afraid of human interaction, and the alcohol helped to lower my inhibitions. Now, though, when I think of alcohol, I think of anger, resentments, hangovers, puking, incredible physical discomfort, etc. It's kind of amazing to me now that I ever held on to the illusion that alcohol was a positive force in my life.

In Buddhism, we learn that all beings are trapped in samsara. As the lamas explained it, this means that we are all trapped in habit patterns which cause our suffering, and we can't see how to break out of them. The goal of the bodhisattva is to free all beings from the ocean of samsara, so that they can attain happiness. Alcoholism is an extreme example of being trapped in samsara. We alcoholics suffer, not perceiving the way out. Little did I know it when I decided to become a Buddhist, but freeing myself (with lots of help from others) from the cycle of alcoholism is wonderfully consonant with the bodhisattva path. In our center we have a thangka (painted cloth) of the wheel of life depicting sundry beings trapped in the cycle of suffering, the whole world of which is in the grips of the evil deity Mara. If you look closely, you can see a little white thread which emanates from the wheel and gradually ascends out of the picture, with various beings seen progressing along it. This is the bodhisattva path, allowing those who follow it (by helping others follow it) to transcend the cycle of samsara. There is a saying in A.A., "to keep what you have, you've got to give it away," a neat summary of the bodhisattva way.

A poem

Here's a poem I just wrote:

Three Instances of Inspiration

The rock was made of tiny crystals,
a revelation which drew my attention in a mysterious ecstasy.
The origin of the rock held me transfixed as I pondered
the patterns of the stones in the high mountain country.
Enthralled by the beauty of deep observation,
I perceived the coalescence of the stream's chatter into a subtle voice:
"Why don't you do this more often?"

Rarely, as I descend into unconsciousness,
I am able to listen to myself piecing together sentences that don't make sense.
One memorable time, I perceived this voice saying:
"You have let yourself be suffused with the Holy Spirit. I'm proud of you."
How peaceful I felt after that.

In a crowd of people outside the temple in the green wilderness,
I gave birth to the image of a blue figure bowing his head with clasped hands.
As we walked around the temple, chanting, I experienced a wonderful energizing joy.

A Spiritual Reason for Good Hygiene?

Growing up I always felt that good hygiene was beneath me. Who cares whether my hair is dirty or my room is messy? What does it matter in the grand scheme of things? It's what's inside that's important. I don't subscribe to these views quite as strongly any more, and the following paragraph says a little bit about why.

We heard ten or twenty minutes of teachings by the Dalai Lama at our center today, seeking to explain how karma works. Part of it was quite similar to Thich Nhat Hanh's closing paragraphs in a previous post. Namely, we should avoid actions that are likely to produce suffering for ourselves or others in the future. An interesting example regards hygiene. Killing another being produces bad karma, and this includes killing insects. So if you are faced with an insect infestation you incur quite a bit of negative karma by killing them. If you are faced with such a situation, you may be forced to kill the insects, despite the karmic consequences. For example, if they pose a health and happiness issue for yourself or others. The best way to avoid the karmic issue is to maintain good hygiene in the first place to stop the infestation from happening. Thus good hygiene becomes a spiritual principle whereby we avoid killing living creatures. Also, as humans with the divine spark, we need to be proud of ourselves, and making our surroundings more beautiful is part of that. It is paying homage to our wonderful nature and the blessings of our remarkable human birth.

Something else the Dalai Lama said really stuck out to me. He said we should never talk negatively about another person. That's pretty wild. I do know that in my case negative talk about others is usually an outward sign of my inner negativity, and doesn't have much to do with the object of criticism. Pondering it now, though, it seems like when there is gross injustice, or even minor injustice, for that matter, talking negatively about the perpetrators may be necessary in order to stop the injustice. Probably he means that we should never talk about others with malice-borne motives. Describing the negative situation in an effort to help others, sounds to me like a different kettle of fish, or however the saying goes.

A neat image

Speaking of connections between Christianity and Buddhism, I found the above neat image on the web. I love the setting in the high mountain country. I've found such places to be quite spiritual.

Real Love Never Ends (Thich Nhat Hanh)

In Judaism, we are encouraged to enjoy the world as long as we are aware that it is God himself. But there are limits, and the Ten Commandments, which God gave to Moses on Mount Sinai, express this. The Ten Commandments are a precious jewel of the Judeo-Christian heritage, helping us to know what to do and what not to do in order to cherish God throughout our daily life.

All precepts and commandments are about love and understanding. Jesus gave his disciples the commandment to love God with all their being and to love their neighbors as themselves. In First Corinthians, it says, "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not envious, arrogant, or rude. It does not rejoice in wrong. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth." This is very close to the teachings of love and compassion in Buddhism.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things." Love has no limits. Love never ends. Love is reborn and reborn and reborn. The love and care of the Christ is reborn in each of us, as is the love of the Buddha. If we invoke the name if Buddha or pray to Christ but do not practice love and understanding ourselves, something is wrong. If we love someone, we have to be patient. We can only help a person transform his or her negative seeds is we are patient and kind.

To take good care of yourself and to take good care of living beings and of the environment is the best way to love God. This love is possible when there is the understanding that you are not separate from other beings or the environment. This understanding cannot be merely intellectual. It must be experiential, the insight gained by deep touching and deep looking in a daily life of prayer, contemplation and meditation.

"Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing." Love instructs us not to act in ways that will cause suffering now or in the future. We can discern when something that seems to be joyful has the capacity to destroy future happiness, so we do not abuse alcohol, ingest unhealthy foods, or hurt others by our words. Real love never ends. It will be reborn and reborn.

A Righteous Thrashing

Recently, while playing Scrabble (natch), my opponent said she was giving me a righteous thrashing (and she was). But this juicy phrase also calls to mind some of my internal struggles with Buddhist philosophy. (I can hear Shunryu Suzuki right now, telling me that the struggle is not the point. That figuring out the philosophy is not the point. Just sit. Just be now. Even this is part of the feedback loop.)

See, in Christianity, and, as far as I know, in Islam as well, there is such a thing as righteous anger. I'm not sure the phrase would make much sense to a Buddhist. I know of no tale of a Buddha clearing the counting tables in the temple, no Zen armies unleashed upon the enemies of God. Part of me likes this. But part of me doesn't want to let go of a not-so-little coal of burning rage. At the past. At injustice. At the oppressors. The argument is that the rage I feel is earned. The recipients are deserving. Their sins unforgivable. Frankly, it feels good to be mad sometimes.

Now, I can see some of the delusion inherent in this anger. After all, everyone who feels angry, at that moment, feels his target deserves it, though instead the real target may be oneself or person involved in a past interaction. Anger is misleading and opportunistic. Furthermore, delivering of righteous thrashings serves to perpetuate angry hurts. As we thrash the Iraqis, more and more Iraqis begin to nurse fantasies of thrashing us. (Forgetting, for a moment, that national identities are also delusions.)

I know that letting a feeling be and repressing it are two different things, but I am a little wary of doing the latter. I've spent many years with a chasm between brain and body and I am loathe to do anything to endanger the bridge. Indeed I hope the teachings of Buddhism can be a bridge.

And if they are not, they are not.

As is so often the case with tumultuous feeling, I have circled the thing here, without really nailing it down. I am unable to be more organized in this matter because I am just teasing these thoughts out here for the first time. So thank you for your patience, and I apologize for the mess.

My old method would be to deliver to myself a searing and righteous mental thrashing for being so unfocused. But maybe I can leave it unresolved, and allow these seemingly conflicting feelings to coexist until they reconcile. (Like two cats meeting each other for the first time.)

Banana Pudding

I am a big fan of bananas. Must be my primate heritage. In any event, someone gave me a bunch of ripe bananas today, and it occurred to me that I could make banana pudding. I need to go out and buy most of the ingredients, though. 'Tis a quandary. Should I make it, or should I not?

Discrimination and Ignorance

I'm not the first person to have this thought, but those people who feel that gay couples are an abomination seem to have their priorities in the wrong place. How can love be wrong? Two people who love each other and are devoted to each other share a sacred thing. Hatred is an abomination and righteous hatred is even worse.

Speaking of discrimination, I was down the hall from a class today which seemed to be aimed at helping poor black kids break out of the cycle of poverty and insecurity which so many blacks are currently trapped in. What I mean by that is that black kids often grow up feeling inferior, and such internalized inferiority makes it very difficult to break out of the cycle. What's worse is that the racism in this country has morphed into a very difficult-to-combat form. Many people hide their racism even from themselves. Yet it is there. Powerful and deadly. In any event, the teacher was relating how she had been called "nigger" at a few times in her life and how terrible it made her feel. She seemed determined to try to muffle the effects that it might have on her students when they encountered human behavior at its most repugnant. Her advice was basically that it's okay to be angry, but you've got to realize that the person doing the name-calling is ignorant. I am glad that some people are reaching out to these kids, and I hope it has some effect.

May all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering . May all beings have happiness and the root of happiness. Even the hatemongers. For if such a person were to become truly happy, they would stop behaving the way they do. They would stop causing so much suffering. (Thanks to the Khenpos for explaining this.)

May any merit achieved here be dedicated for the benefit of all sentient beings.

The Wonders of Modern Technology

My partner just bought our household a wireless router and my laptop a wireless card. Oh frabjous day! Much frustration has been eliminated which had stemmed from two people wishing to check their email simultaneously. I can also connect to the internet from the comfort of the front porch or the living room. It's really good stuff. Of course the flip side of this is that most of the time I spend online is completely wasted. Ack.

A clarification

It occurs to me that one of the photos in the previous post could be mistaken for a barbecue. Actually, it's a picture of the fire puja ceremony.

I'm back

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



Well, I'm back from the retreat. What a wonderful experience! The focus of the retreat was Medicine Buddha, which was good for me to experience. Medicine Buddha is the embodiment of all the healing power of all the buddhas. He is a brilliant blue, the color of lapis-lazuli, which to me suggests soothing. The color is also related to the pure buddha mind we all share, which is like the sky. In any event, to cure sickness, one can take standard medicines and medical treatment to cure the physical part, and do the Medicine Buddha ceremony, and/or chant the Medicine Buddha mantra to cure the spiritual part. Here is the medicine buddha mantra:

tayata om bhekandze bhekandze maha bhekandze radza samungate soha (medium length version)

om bhekandze soha (short version)

"Tayata" means thus. "om" means a million different things. The lamas translated it for us as meaining "auspiciousness, longevitty, prosperity, supreme good things." "bhekandze" means healer or rejuvenator and refers to medicine buddha.
"maha" means "great". "radza samungate" means something like "king within that state." "Soha" is another difficult to translate word, but it ends almost every mantra. It's comparable, I think to "amen" in this sense. The lamas translated it as "established."

By the way, this reminds me, I also took refuge vows at the retreat. This is comparable to baptism is protestant churches. As the lamas explained it, it's not anything I haven't already done in my heart, just an official recognition that I have become a Buddhist, specifically in the Ngingma tradition. I received a dharma name, which is Pema Dharje. The family name "Pema" means Lotus, and everyone taking refuge received that name. "Dharje" means "prosperity", so you might translate my name as Lotus of Prosperity, which I think is an aupicious name.

I'll post some more a bit later.

I'm off for the weekend

Well, today, I'm leaving for the Buddhist retreat led by the Khenpo brothers. Nobody responded to my last post! Y'all must have heeded the warning at the beginning.

Anyway, just wanted to pass on a bit that I've learned since my last post. It turns out that many of the ideas that I was espousing are very similar to gnostic christianity of the first few centuries. In fact, many scholars have posited that gnosticism was influenced by Buddhism, possibly via Buddhist missionaries in Alexandria. Apparently the early church was widely diverse and had many different sects. However, at some point, the orthodoxy came to political power and used its power to wipe out the heretics, as it saw them. Apparently, one of the hallmarks of the orthodox viewpoint is that knowledge of Christ is not gotten through inward reflection (which is gnosis) but by reading approved scriptures and listening to clergymen who are in a direct line of succession from apostles. Contrariwise, many gnostic sects believed that discovering new spiritual truths is a sign of spiritual maturity, and teachers encouraged their students to come up with such truths. This is strongly reminiscent of the way Zen students are encouraged to compose koans as a sign of their understanding. I strongly believe that the route to spirituality is within, that we all have inherent Buddha nature, and that to contact God, the universal spirit, or the tathagata, we need to look inward. I also strongly believe that spirituality is a living thing, and that I need to interact with it in order to make true progress. I cannot just listen, accept and mimic.

Was Jesus a Buddha?

Warning: This post meanders. If you like uninterrupted narrative, then this may not be the post for you.

I've been reading the Lotus Flower Sutra of the Wonderful Law, which, I believe, might also be translated as the Lotus Flower Sutra of the Wonderful Dharma recently. I've been trying to read some of it just before going to bed. The reason for this is that I used to watch TV right before falling asleep. I recently heard a study that found that kids who watch TV right before sleeping have various issues, which, to tell the truth, I don't actually remember. However, I've noticed during my morning meditation that my mind often wanders to the plot of the TV episode I'd seen the previous night. What may in fact be the case is that the damn TV is percolating through my head throughout the gulldurn night. (Spellcheck just informed me that gulldurn is not a word.) Why should I let it? My goal is more spirituality, so it seems like a good idea to give my mind something spiritual to chew on as I sleep. You know, it's funny, as I'm writing this, more and more things are coming to mind. For instance, I have solved several math problems, or at least made a lot of conceptual progress on them, by falling asleep right after thinking hard about a problem. Evidently, my mind has kept working at it after I lose consciousness. So, again, it seems tremendously important to feed it something good. The other line of evidence I know is that I've heard several people in the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous mention that in their morning meditation, or prayer, or what have you, they are continuing where they left off the previous night. So, with all that said, I've been reading this sutra.

This sutra is the longest Buddhist sutra I've ever encountered. The Heart Sutra is a couple of pages long. The Diamond Cutter Sutra is 32 chapters of a couple of paragraphs each. The Sutra of Innumerable Meanings, and the Meditation Sutra on the Bodhisattva Universal Virtue are each a few pages long. Yet the Lotus Flower Sutra of the Wonderful Law is, if memory serves, more than 150 pages long. It's interesting because it alternates prose and poetry, with the poetry paraphrasing and amplifying the preceding prose. One of the key points this sutra makes is that the Buddha teaches through expedient means. In other words, he says what is needed to lead a particular person or class of person closer to enlightenment, even if what he says is not literally true. For example, many people are turned off by the promise of future Buddha-hood, and so when the Buddha started out, he didn't mention this. Only when his disciples had progressed enough did he reveal their destiny. There are several cool parables that explains this idea. One is called the parable of the Magic City, and it goes like this. Suppose you are leading a group of people across a desert, away from a place of great pain and suffering, and toward a place of happiness. Part way through the journey, the travelers start to complain about the arduousness of the journey and their current travails, and decide to turn back. Seeing this, in order to keep them moving in the right direction, you produce a magic city for them to inhabit, and once their urge to turn back has been quelled, you make the city disappear, and continue to lead them toward the real city on the other side of the desert. Even though you have produced an illusory city, you didn't really lie to them. It was just a way to keep them moving in the right direction.

I think Jesus may have been a Buddha. If I recall correctly, when people would ask him if he were the Messiah, if he were the Son of God, he started out by denying it. Only later in his ministry did he actually admit to it. Perhaps what is left unsaid here is that we are all children of God, as anonymous pointed out earlier. Sure Jesus is the Son of God, as are we all. This is a different language than the language of Buddhism, but Jesus needed to teach through expedient means. As a Jew preaching to Jews, he needed to speak their language. In the same way, much of Buddha's teachings are influenced by Hinduism. You need to give people a place to start. I think of Jesus as my root guru, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

In the Lotus Flower Sutra, the Buddha says that as soon as he became enlightened under the Bodhi tree, he always was the Tathagata. (This reminds me of an image I had when I was a child. I imagined that the universe began at some point, whereupon it started growing forwards and backwards in time. I liked to encapsulate this by the phrase "As soon as the Universe was created, it always was.") So, in some ways, the Tathagata has Godlike attributes. (You know, the word "Godlike" has lots of negative connotations. When people talk about being like Gods, it is often implied that they relish the feeling of power and superiority. Yet enjoying having another's fate in your hands is distinctly un-Godlike. God is not superior. He is not way up there with all of us way down here. We are all part of the God-consciousness. We are all part of the Tathagata. But ... we are not all awake, and so we are not all Buddhas.) I'm going to a Buddhist retreat this weekend, and I hope I can ask one of the monks there about this conception of the Tathagata. In any event, what I wanted to say was that in the same way that Shakyamuni Buddha is a specific instantiation of the Tathagata, so too is Jesus a specific awakened son of God.

Now What

I have not meditated in maybe a month. Though tough times are particularly good times for meditation, I have trouble bringing myself to sit. Just sit, and it's strangely too much for me. I awake, tell myself I'll do it soon, or not even think of it, or, as has largely been the case, tell myself I'm too busy for that ten minutes. Strange.

My response to stress and pressure is often to become somewhat manic. (Feel driven, unable to stop working, unable to get whatever the stressor might be out of my mind.) This can be a very useful attribute. I get a lot done. But it has a down side. For instance, it can be very stressful for those around me. And my quality of life suffers as well.

I would like, then, to rededicate myself to meditation. I wonder if it will feel like starting over...

In other news, I went to a Catholic service over Memorial Dat weekend. I normally would have avoided it, but I though a little spiritualiy could be good, whether or not I agreed with the dogma. Well, it was a real shame what I encountered. I got sort of a demonstration of the worst of the religion. The priest was bored, seemed to be going through the motions, reduced all the theater of the ritual to a dumb show without content. Worse still, the content of his sermon was hateful. The message was 1. The church will tell yo what to do. Do not try to figure it out yourself. He used as an example that it took him years in seminary to discover why contraception was, in fact wrong. Therefore, just take our word for it. 2. Gays should not be allowed to marry, and homosexuality is an abomination. 3. The DaVinci Code is not true.

The last point was not especially hateful, just a bit silly.

A good movie

I just saw Gandhi, and it was an incredibly moving movie. I can't say how well it reflects Gandhi's actual life, and the political situation at the time, but as a movie, it really touched my heart. I plan on reading more about him. Here is one of the scenes that stayed with me. After the U.K. granted Indian independence, the Indian government voted to make Pakistan a separate (Muslim) country in order to stave of civil war. In the ensuing chaos, where Muslims and Hindus became fearful and mistrustful of each other, massive violence broke out. A disheartened Gandhi began a fast which was to end either when he died or when the sectarian violence was ended. In the movie, a delegation of people came to tell Gandhi that they had agreed to stop fighting, that in mosques and hindu temples around the country people had vowed to stop. Gandhi is so weak from fasting he can barely talk:

Nahari: I'm going to Hell! I killed a child! I smashed his head against a wall.
Gandhi: Why?
Nahari: Because they killed my son! The Muslims killed my son!
[indicates boy's height]
Gandhi: I know a way out of Hell. Find a child, a child whose mother and father were killed and raise him as your own.
[indicates same height]
Gandhi: Only be sure that he is a muslim and that you raise him as one.

Egotism?

Have no further doubts;
Rejoice greatly in your hearts,
Knowing that you will become buddhas. -Shakyamuni Buddha, from The Sutra of the Lotus Flower of the Wonderful Law

Nowadays, I try to curb my criticism. So often my criticism in the past has been a manifestation of inner negativity that really had nothing to do with the thing being criticized. It was a way to bolster my ego, although it was rather ineffective. As a resilt, I don't have a firm idea of where to draw the line. Take the Christian doctrine of original sin. It has taken me some time, and I am still working at it, to get the idea out of my bones that I am fundamentally unworthy. I don't want to be unneccesarily critical of Christanity, but some viewpoints are erroneous, and I think this is one of them. In Buddhism we learn that all beings have the same underlying Buddha nature. I am not any different than Shakyamuni Buddha, deep down, and I can be a Buddha in this lifetime. So can you. Now from the viewpoint of my Western, Christian upbringing, this smacks of egotism and hubris. Who do I think I am, anyway? And even if I do admit a small theoretical possibility that I could be a Buddha, I better not act like it! Aspiring to help other beings is not bad, and being a genuine Buddha is infinitely good. Believing in my self-worth is fundamental and neccesary to genuinely help others. Otherwise, I will probably delude myself into believing I am helping others, when in actual fact I will be attempting to prop up a failing ego. Believing deep down to my core that I have self-worth and that I can be a Buddha (even as I write this, my mental editor says "someday") is NOT egotistical. It is the only way to be selfless. It is the only way to ensure that my stake in the game is not greed but compassion.