I realized I've been a bit remiss and have only been describing about 30% of the source of my current spiritual condition, which is, by the way, lots better than it used to be. In addition to studying and practicing Buddhism, there is another fellowship which I belong to, which i credit with the other 70%. Now the thing is that a core tradition of this fellowship is anonymity. In particular, when discussing it publicly, members are to remain anonymous. After some thought, I've decided this blog is an anonymous venue, so I can safely refer to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Attending regular meetings for me is an important way to maintain my spiritual health. What I mean by this is maintaining a good attitude about myself and others, maintaining and cultivating the willingness to help others, do the right thing, and recognize the important things in life. Meditation and Buddhist practices definitely help me with this, and in fact the fellowship has encouraged me to cultivate my Buddhist practices. On the other hand my Buddhist practice has helped me be part of the fellowship, and to practice the so-called steps. That explains my title. The two components interact with each other and reinforce each other in complex ways.
I also wanted to say a few words about why I think the fellowship is so powerful. I think it's because it consists of individuals for whom spiritual health is not just an optional nicety, but instead consists of individuals for which spiritual health is a matter of life and death, literally. Although many of us start out by looking for "an easier softer way" those that remain come to learn that total dedication is essential. So we in the fellowship are all working, incredibly earnestly, toward this goal of improving ourselves spiritually. (A summary of what I mean is given above: maintaining a good attitude about myself and others, maintaining and cultivating the willingness to help others, doing the right thing, and recognizing the important things in life.) That's why I think it works so well.
My statement that it is a matter of life and death may sound like hyperbole. I don't think it is. Alcoholics have a progressive disease which involves both a physical and mental component. The physical component occurs when they put alcohol into their body. The liver and pancreas don't secrete the right enzymes, and one of the byproducts of alcohol digestion, acetone, remains in the bloodstream far longer than in a normal person. (Moreover, this worsens as we age. Thus, it is "progressive.")
This acetone creates a physical craving, which causes an alcoholic to want to drink more. This further increases the acetone level, causing the alcoholic to want to drink even more, in a vicious cycle. A normal person wants to stop after one or two drinks, whereas an alcoholic always wants another one. So, once an alcoholic manages to stop drinking, that craving subsides, and everything's fine. Here's where the mental component comes in. After a week, a month, a year, two years, or whatever, the mind gives in to the compulsion, and the alcoholic takes a drink, initiating the vicious cycle. The main problem for an alcoholic is how to combat this part of the disease, and the solution has been found to be the maintenance of one's spiritual health. If you can maintain your mind in a condition where it doesn't want to pick up that first drink, the physical aspects of the disease are irrelevant. You just won't pick it up. So we've reached a strange conclusion: the solution to a physical illness is spirituality. That's why for us alcoholics spirituality is a matter of life and death. Once we pick up that drink, we could easily end up dead, or we could kill someone else in a car wreck, or whatever. This is especially true if a lot of time has passed since we drank last. Because the physical reaction keeps getting worse as we age, we won't pick up where we left off. We will be in a far worse place.
I feel like it would be a crime not to pass along what might be life-saving information which has helped me out so much. And that's why I've done it. :)
5 comments:
I've heard good things about AA. It seems to give concrete help -- or concrete steps anyway -- to people who desperately need some kind of structured support to keep from drinking (which describes the majority of alcoholics, I believe).
Have you read Infinite Jest, Vacuous? It has a huge section on AA and portrays one man's struggle with the process, quite movingly.
Wow. I've heard about the book, and it sounded interesting, but I didn't know it had anything to do with A.A. I'll definitely read it.
Another book which mentions it, and which I really, really liked, is House of Sand and Fog. In fact, it's one of my favorite books of all time.
That book is heartbreaking because you can see both characters' points of view so vividly.
Sadly, the woman falls rather easily off the wagon. I thought it was a but unbelievable that she didn't struggle with herself a bit more. She practically toppled down the slippery slope. I know it was part of her narrative, but I wanted her to fight a bit longer.
That one "but" should be "bit," making it three uses of "bit." Eck.
I really appreciated the depth with which each character is portrayed. You can see that each character is behaving in a self-destructive manner, but you can also identify with their motives, and even imagine yourself in their place. Reading it, I could tell that it was building to a tragic ending, but I enjoyed it anyway. Hmm. I guess it just feels good to feel sadness deeply once in a while.
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