I was at an A.A. meeting today in which someone talked prejudicially about gays, and lots of people in the room laughed. I didn't laugh. I felt like I had been kicked in the head, and I'm still trying to recover. Here, I thought, were a bunch of spiritual people. Surely they were above this, I had assumed. It really saddens me, because this hatred has real consequences, as I mentioned in my previous post. It's almost like some highly realized being read that post and decided from my glib, self-comforting analysis that I needed to be shaken out of my complacency, to show me just how deep the sickness runs. During my meditation just now, it occurred to me to regard the whole episode as a dream, and, by extension, the rest of life. This way I'm less attached and these emotions become less disturbing. On the other hand, I have decided to make the following vow:
I vow never to laugh at another being's expense.
Derision of others has absolutely no place in my mind, and it's possible for me to completely give it up. What a thought!
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I had a dream last night involving prisoners. A supervisor was letting one of the guys, Person A, get away with having someone else, Person B, do his work for him. When the supervisor's supervisor came over and said he saw Person A and Person B in the front seat of a pick-up truck, even though this had been condoned by the supervisor, and was in fact not sexual, the supervisor accused A and B of having homosexual sex, and as he made his accusations, his face contorted more and more into deep hatred. I was a prisoner, and I was watching this, wondering why Person A didn't speak up. Then the supervisor grabbed a knife and started cutting person A on both arms, while he screamed in agony. In the end, he killed person A, chopping him into pieces. It was awful.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.
(Easier said than done, I find.)
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