Mysterious Consciousness

[Forgive the sententious tone of the following post. I take myself too seriously sometimes.]

A sense of permanent unchanging entities is a deep subconscious bias that, I'm pretty sure, all humans have. There is an inherent idea that situations are stable, and when, through the natural force of impermanence, situations transform and dissolve, we often have a sense of regret and suffering. This occurs at all levels from trivial to profound. An alcoholic suffers from the idea that the alcoholic buzz is a state that can be perpetuated ad infinitum, and we suffer when a loved one dies because our concept of their perpetuity is shattered. So what is the root of this bias toward perceiving things as permanent and unchanging? According to one level, that's the whole origin of this world of samsara that we wander in. The mistaken perception of an unchanging "I" starts the whole thing in motion, and soon we are surrounded in a cloud of karmic illusion. Yet, on another level, there ought to be a more scientific explanation of why we have this strong sense of self. An appealing explanation a la Dawkins is that a sense of self is extremely useful when it comes to passing along genes. After all, we are the progeny of those who have successfully passed on their genes, implying those genes probably select for traits which best assist those genes in being passed along further. Thus, it's good to have a sense of self that one cherishes and defends, so that one's genes survive. So at one level, a deep and basic component of our behavior is simply a side effect of an iterative mathematical process.
I believe these two explanations are completely consistent myself, and I even think that the laws of physics themselves may be products of our karma. The universe appears a certain way to us as a function of our collective karma, and that includes the laws of physics. But why, if there is a more conventional explanation, should one believe the Buddhist explanation at all? To me the bare fact of our experienced consciousness is so mysterious that it cries out for something besides the conventional laws of physics. Also, the gene explanation, like any scientific explanation, only goes so far. The laws of deduction are inherently limited. A chain of implications is only a bridge between two unknowns, but doesn't tell you how to deduce the truth of the fundamental ingredients. Furthermore, the idea of elementary causation can only go so far. To say that one thing causes another is a huge simplification, since in any event a number of causes and conditions come in to play. It's more like the entire universe at any given moment is what causes the next moment, although even this is not right since quantum theory implies that physics is only deterministic at a probabilistic level. (And also, relativity says that there's no such thing as having one instant of time across the entire universe.) Thus scientific explanation is inherently limited, but still valid within its scope.

Tweaking my site

Hi all. As you can see I'm tweaking my site's design. I wanted something more soothing than the harsh white on black that I had previously. Since it will show up differently depending on your computer, please let me know about readability issues. Is this easier to read? More pleasant. Can I change anything to make it better? (Well obviously I can, but are there specific suggestions?)

A Comparison [Poem]

In the morning, I cling desperately to sleep,
but am propelled, against my will, into wakefulness.
Images of forceful separation manifesting in my dream.

When my time has come, I cling desperately to this life,
but am propelled, against my will, across the threshold,
into the unknown.

A spin of the prayer wheel

HO!
Mesmerised by the sheer variety of perceptions,
which are like the illusory reflections
of the moon in water,
Beings wander endlessly astray
in samsara's vicious cycle.
In order that they may find comfort and ease
in the all -pervading luminosity
of the true nature of their minds,
I generate the immeasurable love,
compassion, joy and equanimity
of the awakened mind,
the heart of bodhicitta.

nyingma buddhism - jikmé lingpa - 18th century

I spun the prayer wheel at worldprayers.org, and this prayer came up. I rather like it.

An old poem I wrote

I discovered this poem while cleaning out my desk. I wrote it while in grad school some years ago. In fact I discovered quite a few poems, even some early drafts of poems I had rewritten extensively. Anyway here it is. (I've refrained from editing it, even though I think it needs editing.


Twenty billion discoveries and dismissals of a single fact, discovered.
Though facts are like clouds, uncountable,
Are weakly collected in these words.
If you ask Why? many times the question can always be repeated.

We fly slower than light through time.
Our minds wade through increasing entropy.
Movie frames that increase in information.

They fly faster than light backward through our time.
Their energy is the impetus for our creation
As we are for their's.

Or: time sits in Time.
The universe begins and shoots backwards as well as forwards.
As soon at it was created, it always was.

Buddhism and Vegetarianism

I was asked the following question:

Why aren't those Tibetan Buddhists who eat meat concerned about the issue of participating in the death of a sentient being?

They are concerned, but the thought is that eating meat from an animal that has already been killed is not nearly as bad as killing it yourself. Thus it is strictly forbidden to kill an animal yourself, or to directly cause an animal to be killed. For example, by pointing to a lobster and asking that they cook it for you. Of course, by buying meat and supporting the system that continues to kill beings, you are accumulating negative karma. The practical reality is, though, that the amount that Buddhists are contributing to the maintenance of the current world system of food distribution is vanishingly small. If the situation were different, for example if a monk is trapped on an island with a small handful of other people, and the monk encourages the others to kill animals for him to eat, that would be a highly nonvirtuous act.

I asked Lama Inge this very question, and she said don't delude yourself into thinking that being a vegetarian is a pristine virtuous state. Consider all of the insects and other animals that are killed during farming, and consider the mistreatment of the farm workers, often in third world countries. Basically, we do what we can. If we are able to make a change to save the lives of some sentient beings, we do it, but if it is beyond our capability at this point, rather than throwing in the towel, we simply do our best. Many people have severe physical difficulties with vegetarianism. Not everybody's body is equipped to handle it. The Dalai Lama himself has been advised by his doctors that he has to eat some meat, otherwise he gets jaundice. What he said is that we should celebrate and have joy for those of us who can maintain a vegetarian diet. Think "Good for them! I'm glad they can do it!"

Personally, I try to be as vegetarian as possible, but am open to eating meat if circumstances merit. I recall a specific instance when I was visiting someone's house, and they offered me some food, I think it was chicken, and I ate it because I felt it was better to be polite and harmonious with the people around me. I don't feel that my eating it contributed in any substantial way to the harming of sentient beings since the animal was already dead.

My weekend with the Lamas

More lama dancing, including, one night, lama line dancing! I also snapped a shot of this bee fly which seemed very attracted to me as I was watching the festivities.

I took refuge again, this time with Lama Norlha Rinpoche. My dharma name is Dondrup Gawa, which means Joyfully Accomplishing Aims. That's a good name I think!

Lama Dancing

Here's a couple snapshots of today's lama dancing ceremony. These are traditional after three year retreats, and help to pacify negative karma attached to a region, as well as the negative karma of the participants and the observers. As Lama Norlha Rinpoche explains, the region where we live has a lot of residual negative karma left over from the civil war, and he wanted to help heal this by bringing this dancing ceremony to us. Very cool.

The KTC Retreatants

I snapped this picture of the retreatants chanting today. Lama Norlha Rinpoche is seated at the little wooden table.

The Lamas are Coming!

At the KTC monastery run by Lama Norlha Rinpoche in upstate NY, they have been having a series of three-year retreats. The sixth three year retreat has just opened up, and the graduating monastics are now touring various places, spreading the good karma. We're very blessed that they're visiting here. I was part of the party meeting them yesterday. They were driving an old tourbus, which had a faded picture of Marilyn Monroe or someone similar looking on the back of the bus. The bus was creeping along the highway, because the engine was not in good shape. Lama Norlha wanted to stop at a grocery store to buy supplies, so we led them to a Walmart Supercenter. (Not anyone's first choice, but the bus couldn't park elsewhere, and the monastics didn't seem to mind.) So then the bus pulled over, and a wide variety of monastics exited the bus. They were all wearing the gold and maroon robes, some were young, some were elderly. Most were caucasian, although there were a couple of chinese. Then this whole crew went into Walmart, grabbed a cart, and just started piling in all sorts of random things. It was really quite a site to see. People were surprisingly polite. Only a few people stared. As we were checking out, the check-out woman took a liking to us, telling us about how there was some cult in Kentucky that killed little children, but that she would set the other employees straight about us! Lama Jamdron pointed out that Buddhists don't like to kill bugs, do say nothing of murdering people! Anyway, they piled back in the bus and we led them up to the land where this week's festivities will be up in the mountains. Luckily the bus made it. I got to talking with several of the retreatants. They all have distinct personalities, but they're all very sweet and nice people.

An excerpt from the Diamond Cutter (Prajnaparamita) Sutra

As a lamp, a cataract, a star in space
an illusion, a dewdrop, a bubble
a dream, a cloud, a flash of lightning
view all created things like this.

-Shakyamuni Buddha

A friend of mine posted a poem on her blog that brought this to mind.

Of ants and disciples

I've been thinking, as I progress along the Buddhist path, about how I must have done something right in a former life to be in the spot I am today, and oh how wonderful I am for that. I was a student of my current lama in a previous life, my imagination has told me. I'm big and important, even if it's not obvious in this life, so the mental narrative goes. I have been building up this view for quite a while. Then, suddenly, I remembered a story about Kalu Rinpoche. Once when he was younger he blessed many ants. Then many years later, he realized that many of the students that had come to him were actually reincarnations of the ants he had blessed! How quaint, I was thinking, when I first heard the story, but I finally realized my story may be similar. I could have been an ant in a previous life which an infinitely kind person blessed. Not so much to be prideful about anymore, although there remains a lot to be grateful for. :)

Hiking photos

Here are some photos from today's hike. The trailhead is actually 3 hours away, so we drove there last night. I slept under the stars while my hiking partner slept in the car. The park is in a very remote area, and the light pollution was minimal. It was very cool. We saw several large hawks, but I wasn't able to snap their picture.

I had the following thought while hiking: "Every experience is a mixture of pleasure and pain."

A spider!

Took a picture of this spider on the wall of our den. It's probably about half an inch long, to give a sense of scale. It's been patrolling the walls of our den for about a week now, usually hanging out by the ceiling. I feel bad because I don't think there's that much in here for it to eat.

A neat Padmasambhava quote

I read this passage last night, and it made me smile.

Though you are born as a human being, you are not beyond suffering. To begin with, before birth there is the suffering of being inside your mother's womb,where it is like being thrown into an abyss when your mother is lifting; like being squashed between cliffs when your mother is full of food; like fluttering in the wind when your mother is standing up; like being suppressed by a mountain when your mother is lying down; like being strangled when taking birth; like being thrown into a heap of thorns when laid down; and like a bird being carried off by a hawk when your mother takes you up again.

-Padmasambhava, quoted in "The Lotus Born, the Life Story of Padmasambhava"

Parallels between A.A. and Buddhism

I've been trying to really integrate my Buddhist beliefs into the A.A. program. Superficially, it's difficult, mainly because there's no creator deity in Buddhism, and the A.A. literature has the concept of God throughout it. I'm learning that it can be done, though. I'm leading someone through the steps right now, and as I do so, I plan on redoing the steps myself. Already, with step 3, I'm making progress, I think. Step 3 says that we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. After searching on the internet for a Buddhist interpretation of this step, I came across an article which mentioned that the Buddhist concept of taking refuge is probably the clearest parallel to the third step. A Buddhist practitioner takes refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma (sacred teachings), and the Sangha (community of spiritually enlightened beings). This essentially means that one places one's trust in them. While I had paid lip service to taking refuge before, having drawn this tight connection with the third step, I feel like I actually get it at a much deeper level now. In connection with this is the A.A. phrase "Let go and let God." A Buddhist view on this might be simply "Let go." We need to get our egos, and sense of self, out of the way. In a Buddhist interpretation, once could say that there are billions of enlightened beings out there doing their best to help all sentient beings. My contribution based on ignorance is not helping. However, if I let go of my sense of self, I can actually gain access to the primordial wisdom that comes with the path to Buddhahood. This is not essentially different from saying "God's will be done." The essential point is to remove one's ego and self-cherishing from the picture.

I attend a Big Book (the A.A. manual) study on Thursdays, and this past Thursday we were reading the following passage (p.62).

Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate...So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid.

Note the emphasis on entirely getting rid of self!

Here is a parallel excerpt from The Torch of the Definitive Meaning by Jamgon Kongtrul.

The root of suffering in this world is the accumulation of negative karma. The root of negative karma is the disturbing emotions. The root of the disturbing emotions is the ignorance that cherishes a self.

Again we see the same point: the root of our suffering is the ignorance that cherishes a self. Note also that the Big Book says that our troubles arise out of ourselves. That's karma! It's uncanny how deep the parallels run when one looks at it in the right way!

Cherokee Purification Prayer

A friend of mine emailed me this prayer, and it's really cool!

" Great Spirit (U-ne-qua), whose voice I hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world. Hear me;
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple
sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear
your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.
Help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards me.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
Help me seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.
Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest
enemy MYSELF.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without
shame

More photos from the same hike

The lizard is a southern fence lizard, for those who are interested.

Here are some photos from my hike today

The picture where you see a trail and, on either side, blackened earth, is a photo of the charring caused by what must have been a recent brush fire. I was at this same spot 2 and a half weeks ago, and the fire had not yet occurred. Some blackening could be seen at the base of the trees, but it seems like the fire wasn't severe enough to really damage the trees.

Howard Zinn lecture

I went to a wonderful talk by Howard Zinn this evening. He's a wonderfully gifted speaker. He made a very clear case for exiting Iraq as soon as possible. The U.S. occupation is causing more violence to occur. It is an irritant, and even though we can't predict what will happen when we leave, our absence means the removal of one more obstacle on their journey toward a more normal and safer society. He pointed out that we, in this country, have a very limited sort of freedom of speech, where people are indeed allowed to say what they want. I can get up on a soapbox and talk to 50 people, but Procter and Gamble, who made the soap box, can talk to millions of people. Freedom of speech is also about quantity, and it is the large corporations that have the voice. One other thing from his lecture that really hit home for me was his blanket statement that war is never justified. I wholeheartedly agree. War, at least in his definition, always involves the indiscriminate killing of thousands of innocent people. During WWII, the good war, 50 million people were killed. Was this justifiable? The holocaust may never have happened, if there were no war, because the war generated widespread madness on both sides. On the German side, there was the madness of the holocaust. On our side there was the madness of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. By engaging in war, the cycle perpetuates. If we can refrain from war, and get at the root of the problem, the cycle can end. Although it seems unlikely, fantastic, and utopian, it is possible if we try. If we don't try, it is clearly impossible. Anyway, he said it much more eloquently and thoroughly than I can.

Side note: I got him to sign a copy of my book "The Southern Mystique." :)

Shakyamuni Buddha Quotes

I was surfing around online when I found a collection of
Buddha quotes.
Here are some of my favorites:

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

The world, indeed, is like a dream and the treasures of the world are an alluring mirage! Like the apparent distances in a picture, things have no reality in themselves, but they are like heat haze.

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Unity can only be manifested by the Binary. Unity itself and the idea of Unity are already two.

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.

Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.

Ladybug

Today's Sunrise

Some "weeds" from my yard

I love these tiny flowers. Around here they're one of the first harbingers of spring. Some people, who prefer a lawn which lacks biodiversity, consider them weeds. What are they thinking? Notice the ant in the second picture, which will give an idea of scale!

Note: The pictures are more impressive if you click on them for larger versions.

Look at this beautiful picture my new camera took of an ant on my bathroom floor!

I've always wanted to take pictures like this, and now I can. Life is beautiful. Thanks to my wife for scouting out the camera for me.

A better goldfinch picture

I've been fooling around with my camera, and snapped the above goldfinch picture, which is a vast improvement over the previous one, and is a vastly huge improvement over the smudge that my other camera would produce. This is a female goldfinch. The males have brighter yellow patches at this time of year. (During the summer the males are very yellow, while the females remain drab.)

Another hike

Here's a couple of pictures from a recent hike. In addition, we saw a very large garter snake, and some strange burrowing beetles. I tried taking a picture, but my camera isn't good enough to capture them well. I did look them up in my insect guide, but to no avail.

I just recently bought a new camera which has 10X optical zoom and 7.2 megapixels. Expect the image quality of my posts to go up. In fact, here are a couple of pictures I've taken from my den:

Two photos from a recent hike

This was an interesting hike. The day started out kind of cold, dark and miserable, but ended up being sunny, bright and summery. The trail went up onto a ridge and there were some awesome views of the surrounding tree-covered hills. It also wandered through an interesting little valley. At one point, I wandered off the trail to a hilltop where I meditated for a while. Very peaceful. My camera is not very good, so the pictures I took did not do justice to the beauty. Several times I would look at the trees against the blue sky on a neighboring ridge and it would look very beautiful. That's what I was trying to capture in the second picture above, although it doesn't come through as strongly as it does in person. The other picture is of some flowers that appear to have been planted along the trail. I don't know who would have done that in this remote location, but their efforts are appreciated!(As usual, click on the photos for a larger view.)

A poem I wrote a long time ago

Ranges

The Himalayas are young and Zen,
Though Appalachia is not, and riddled.
Appalachia recounts:

I don't have appreciable mass
Nor have I contrivable mirth
I am a considerable match
An intolerable myth
of history in destruction.

---------------

This poem, like most poems I wrote in this period of my life, is essentially a dialogue between my unconscious and the dictates of form. As a result, I can't say I know fully what it means, although it seems like I was having some issues with the aging process. When I wrote the poem, the phrase "An intolerable myth" rang like a bell in my consciousness after I had penned the previous three lines. In any event, I've always liked this poem, so I am sharing it. :)

A couple pics from my hike

The boulder in the top photo is probably about the size of two pickup trucks, just to give a sense of scale. The white column in the bottom photo is actually a frozen waterfall. (It was melting when I took the photo. Outside temperature was about 50 degrees at the time.)

More on death and impermanence

This past Saturday I went hiking, and on my way to the trailhead, I passed several signs which said "Jesus is coming. RU ready?" I think it would be better to rephrase it as "Death is coming. Are you ready?" Assuming you believe that Jesus is coming and will render judgment, causing some to suffer eternal damnation and some to enjoy eternal bliss, the fact is that you are far more likely to die before that happens than not. As far as I inderstand it, once you die, there is no way to make further spiritual progress in the Christian tradition. Hence you should live every day like it's your last. When death inevitably and unexpectedly comes, you're either ready or not. In the Buddhist tradition, we also use death as a spur to practice. Unlike in Christianity, after death, one still has the oppurtunity to practice in one's next life, but the problem is that if we don't live our lives virtuously, we will end up in a body with a lot of suffering (like hell, only with a very long, but finite extent), and will find it very difficult to get back to a body where we can practice spiritually. Thus we should live each day as though it were our last, practicing virtue, else when we die we end up suffering for eons before we finally get the chance to practice again.

Free will redux

The more I think about it, the more I don't like the way the previous argument is framed. One problem is that consciousness is not explicitly defined, and it's implicit that consciousness should be the `decision maker.' However, I feel this is wrong. When I meditate, thoughts just bubble up. I didn't explicitly cause them to happen. They happen spontaneously, and often I will have followed a long train of associations before I'm even aware of doing so. So I strongly feel that the origination of conceptual thought is not conscious. Similarly, I've been in many situations where I feel like a decision was made at the unconscious level before I became consciously aware of it. I think one should really refer to three distinct agents or processes in the brain:

1) the thought generator
2) the decision maker
3) the awareness

This third one seems to be the really special one. But anyway, the workings of the thought generator and the decision maker are not totally accessible to the awareness. Thus it seems that if free will operates, it operates at a level inaccessible to our awareness, at least in normal conscious states. The awareness perhaps can be thought of as a highly flexible tool that we evolved which can help focus our data intake which then gets fed into the subconscious thought generator and decision maker. But it feels like it's more than that. Like our awareness almost has an independent existence which we identify with our sense of self. That subjective experience is rather mysterious. In any event, the awareness can be focused on many things, and during meditation, we turn it back on the mind itself and try to uncover more of the normallt unconscious processes. I'm not an experienced meditator (I've only been meditating regularly for about a year), but my conjecture is that through meditation and diligent training of the awareness, one is able to reach the nonconceptual underlying our usual consciousness. Perhaps this means that through meditation we get to a place where we really have free will, not an unconscious decision process which the awareness perceives as free will, unless it looks deeply enough.

Getting back to Searle's argument, this leaves the question of why the "mysterious" subjective experience of the awareness has evolved. In this case, the argument hangs on whether the awareness agent in the brain could have evolved without there being personal subjective experience. If so, then one needs an explanation for why personal subjective experience evolved. If it is a natural byproduct of the awareness agent (which I visualize like a lamp or a flashlight that shines in different directions), then no further explanation is needed. But now Searle's argument seems to lead in a different direction. If the personal subjective experience part of awareness evolved separately, what evolutionary role does it play? As I have argued above, actual decisions (free or not) are normally outside the purview of our awareness, so it seems to play no role. Perhaps, and I say this hesitantly, this is a sign that there is something deeper about our awareness which is outside the standard scientific conception. In Buddhism, we believe that our mindstreams give rise to our bodies and to the world around us through the arising of afflicted emotions and concepts, and our karma. The mindstream is fundamental, the world around us more like a dream or an illusion. The above analysis is consistent with this, I think. It still requires investigation, the main question being can an awareness agent, which serves to select sensory input to feed to the unconscious decision maker, evolve in an animal brain without giving rise to personal subjective experience?

Free Will?

When I was growing up, I came to the conclusion, heavily influenced by various things I read, that the universe was effectively deterministic, and that therefore free will is an illusion. A thought experiment by Douglas Hofstader made the case even more convincing to me. "If you really have free will," says one person to another, "are you free to choose to kill me right now?" On one level you might say he is free to kill the questioner, but on the other hand, it's pretty convincing that since he is strongly predisposed not to kill him, that in fact, it is beyond the realm of possibility, and not a possible choice. An interesting wrinkle in the debate just came to my attention in an essay of John R. Searle, where he says the following:


Well, what's wrong with epiphenomenalism [the idea that conscioussness is not causally relevant]? As we come to understand better how the brain works, it may turn out to be true. In the present state of our knowledge, the main objection to accepting epiphenomenalism is that it goes against everything we know about evolution. The processes of conscious rationality are such an important part of our lives, and above all such a biologically expensive part of our lives, that it would be unlike anything we know in evolution if a phenotype of this magnitude played no functional role at all in the life and survival of the organism. In humans and higher animals an enormous biological price is paid for conscious decision making, including everything from how the young are raised to the amount of blood flowing to the brain. To suppose this plays no role in inclusive fitness is not like supposing the human appendix plays no role. It would be more like supposing that vision or digestion played no evolutionary role.


I find this argument simultaneously compelling and suspect. Clearly the brain evolved to "make decisions," but the question is whether there are genuine choices (the decision might turn out differently under the same conditions) or whether the decision is algorithmically determined. Now Searle would probably say, then why is there consciousness? The brain could do all that without being conscious, more like a computer. Well I know many computer scientists would argue that consciousness is an "emergent phenomenon" that just happens when the brain gets too complex. It's not that the brain evolved to have consciousness, it evolved to make decisions, and this has the accidental byproduct of producing consciousness. However, I can't say I like that formulation, because it doesn't really explain what consciousness is, or how it emerges from complexity. So Searle's argument may carry some force. If consciousness doesn't necessarily go hand-in-hand with brain complexity, then the consciousness must have evolved to have some survival value, and the only way that would seem to make sense is if it actually was able to influence the body. I.e. we have free will.

Medicine Buddha Mantra Card

I made this image of the Medicine Buddha mantra, which goes around the perimeter starting with "TAD." The seed syllable "HUNG" is the big blue symbol in the center. As part of a Medicine Buddha ceremony, one typically visualizes the seed syllable hung at the heart of the medicine buddha, with the mantra circling around it, radiating light to all sentient beings, purifying their obscurations and removing their sickness. One would typically chant the mantra "Tayata om bekhandze bekhandze maha bekhandze radzaya samungate soha" 21 times or more while doing this. Anyway, I made this and I figured I'd put it out on the web in case anyone can benefit from it. Feel free to reproduce the image. I also have a high resolution version which I can email to anyone who wants it.

Valentine's Day?

A friend of mine was lamenting to me today that he doesn't expect to receive any Valentines this year. (This may sound strange, but it actually makes sense in context, although, out of privacy concerns, I won't reveal that context.) In any event, this brought back some major memories for me. When I was in grade school, I never got any Valentines either. One time, one kid's mother made her give valentines to everyone, but she ripped mine open before she gave it to me and scrawled "I hate you" across it. Ugh. I was never popular in grade school, and I never could understand why. My best guess is that the other students couldn't understand my motivations or behavior, which somehow alienated them, and caused them to lash out, in what they felt was retaliation. In fact, I notice that to this day. Sometimes I'll be talking, making what I feel to be very serious and interesting points, and the eyes of the person listening will start to glaze over and I'll get the impression that they find what I have to say tedious and boring. I know people who I find very hard to deal with, and when they talk it bores me to tears, but seeing myself in the same way some people see me is hard for me to internalize. I guess when you're dealing with the world, it's a fact that some people will like you and some people won't. Some people will like what you have to say, and others won't. The fact that some people find me boring is quite different from being universally reviled, which, coming full circle, is basically the way I felt in grade school. At the current stage of my life, I've migrated to a situation where I'm not the odd man out. I fit in very well in my profession, which is known for idiosyncrasy, and I fit in well in my sangha too, which again, consists of beautifully idiosyncratic people.

May all beings have happiness and the sources of happiness.
May they be free from suffering and the sources of suffering.
May they not be separated from the great happiness that is free from suffering.
May they dwell in equanimity, free from attachment, aggression, and prejudice.

Clinging is a major problem

I haven't posted in a while, but I'd like to relate a breakthrough idea that I had today. It's not original, just me finally seeing some more pieces of the jigsaw puzzle fall into place. When we meditate, at least in many versions, we try to eliminate discursive thought from our mind stream. When thoughts arise, we train ourselves to recognize them, and then go back to the state of natural awareness. Doing this over and over, the spaces between the thoughts gradually lengthen, and I even had the experience of falling into nonconceptual awareness in the middle of the day as I was walking down the street the other day. Experienced meditators, I have heard, experience this state quite often during the day while not on the mat. My mentor in the Dharma Path program explained that it is very hard to let go of all conceptual thought because we've been clinging to these thoughts, which are essentially delusions or obscurations, for countless lifetimes. Our mind is simply in the habit of doing so, and it takes a lot of practice to undo it. In fact, it's quite remarkable how much progress it's possible to make, considering this. I can only think that I must have had practice in previous lifetimes as well.

I've also been reading a lot about death and impermanence. Basically, the Buddhist view is that you should contemplate death in depth now, so that when it actually happens, you won't be frightened or disturbed. (It will also be a spur to practice when you realize that death can come at any moment.) Part of what I've been reading is advice on what to do around a dying person. You're not supposed to cry, or grab onto the person, because that will create an emotional disturbance in them, and even induce them to cling to their body. If they have an attitude of clinging as they die, they will be reborn within the present state of existence (the world of suffering, samsara) and may even have a lower rebirth (i.e. more suffering), because the emotional disturbance will steer them that way. The best way is to let them leave their body calmly and peacefully. When Buddha himself left his body, he had eliminated all attachments, including attachments to his body. Thus he had achieved the state of not being reborn in samsara (complete nirvana).

An image from CNN.com

This gentleman biked to work 6 miles in some very cold weather (I believe in Minnesota). I have gotten ice crystals in my beard on occasion, but this picture is something else.

A quote from the Dalai Lama

Petitioning those who possess the three jewels [Buddha, Dharma and Sangha] evokes their compassion-not by generating it in them, but by opening yourself to it.


In other words, by praying to highly realized beings (in any tradition), we are able to receive help. Not because they are unwilling to help otherwise, but because we shut ourselves off from the help, and the prayer helps us to be open to it. If you pray for another being's benefit, that's also primarily benefiting you. If I have the power to cut myself off from the help of all the Buddhas and bodhisattvas who have aspired to liberate sentient beings, then people who I pray for certainly also have that power. The prayer might be able to help them, but just as physical acts can be rejected, so can spiritual acts. Also, just as I can't lift a weight that's too heavy, by prayer alone I can't, for example, stop someone from becoming ill and dying. This is even beyond the Buddha's power. Everyone needs to contend with the force of their own karma, and although the Buddhas can help, this is only if the person develops their mind to receive the help. That's why the emphasis in Buddhism is on liberating all sentient beings. We need to give everyone the tools so that they can personally transform their suffering. Praying on their behalf is not enough, alhtough it does have an effect. The only way to give everyone these tools is to first get them yourself-thus, the personal aspiration to achieve Buddhahood for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Prayer Power

I'd like to relate a neat thing I recently experienced. A couple of days ago I was at a meeting where a gentleman related a heart-wrenching tale of suffering. His wife is diabetic and he has to change the dressings on her feet, which are covered with infected sores. He says it takes him two and a half hours to do it, and it is a highly unpleasant experience. He mentioned the odor of the infection as being particularly unpleasant. Please pray for me, he said.

Well, his story touched me deeply, and I did pray for him. In particular, I included him and his wife in a Medicine Buddha practice. I also had the idea to give him an object that had been given to me by Lama Norlha, which had been prayed over and blessed by many Buddhist nuns for several months. So, before the next meeting, I put the object in my pocket. At the meeting, this gentleman could hardly restrain himself. He said that he had felt everyone's presence in his room that night and that he had felt individual people's prayers too. In the end, he said it gave him renewed strength. This really knocked me over. When I prayed, I sincerely hoped it would have benefit, but I had no idea the effect would be so dramatic. It also shows that spirituality is nondenominational, since most of the people in that room were not Buddhist, and, in fact, reflected a wide spectrum of spiritual belief.

I ended up not giving the man the blessed object because I didn't feel the time was ripe, and maybe it will never be. He is a dyed-in-the-wool Christian, so I'd rather not cause further confusion by offering him a sacred Buddhist object.

The Rarity of Posts

I haven't been posting as much lately, and one reason is that I'm trying to break myself of the habit of writing parts of posts in my head at various points during the day. It is an old habit of mine to be involved in an internal monologue as I walk down the street or take a shower. Sometime these things are productive, but usually I'm just spinning my wheels, especially now that I am often thinking at the same time, "This is something I can put in my blog." I usually never end up putting it on my blog though.

A second reason that I don't post as much is that I'm much more acutely aware of how little I know, how fragile my understanding is, especially of Buddhism. When I started writing this blog, it was very good for me, since I didn't have any other formal support, and it forced me to think about a lot of things. Now that I have come in contact with a group and with several teachers, with living, breathing Buddhism, as it were, I see that my initial understanding was way off the mark in many ways. So, rather than propagate confusion, I'm not putting my ideas out there in the same public way. With that said, maybe I will post a bit about where I am now in my journey...okay, I just realized another reason is that I'm often too lazy to collect my thoughts in a coherent way, but here goes.

Buddhism is about the "middle" way, a lack of extremes. Humans sit in the middle of the realm of samsara: they don't suffer as much as the lower realms, they have less pleasure than the upper realms. As a result, they are optimally suited to make progress on the path to enlightenment. The thing is, to keep my precious human body, I need to act virtuously, lest I be reborn in a lower realm. However, this is not enough, because if the virtue is tainted by pride, then I will be reborn in a God realm, where this virtue will be uselessly expended. After dying as a God, I would probably end up in a lower realm. Thus it is important to be humble. I know Jesus said something about the Pharisees being proud of their virtuous actions, and that they've already had their reward. This is similar: their virtuous actions do not lead to spiritual gain. An interesting fact is that even being good at meditation, if it is tainted by pride, will lead to rebirth in an upper God realm, and this is still considered an unfortunate rebirth. So even being good at meditation is not enough. It is said in this upper God realm, beings are addicted to pleasurable states of consciousness, but have no interest in the welfare of others. Thus they don't accumulate any merit, and when they die, they are reborn in a lower realm, such as a hell realm.

It occurred to me just now that one can see these realms in the life of an alcoholic. At some point, he is addicted to the pleasurable state of conscioussness, which is that alcoholic buzz. Soon however, that is turned into a hellish existence. At some point, if he's lucky, he is reborn as a human, and begins to accumulate great virtue, as part of a twelve step program, for example. Hungry ghosts are also represented: they are always craving, but never satisfied.

Anyway, I've assuaged my guilt about not posting often enough, I think.

Visiting New Orleans

We just got done visiting upstate NY, and now we're going down to New Orleans. In fact, we leave for the airport in 17 minutes. I had an interesting experience last night at an A.A. meeting when a guy came up to me who I had seen a couple of weeks ago while we were both shopping for Christmas presents in a New Agey kind of store. Anyway, at the meeting last night, he said "I've been going there for years, but, you know, the Buddha just aint enough for me man." He needs A.A. too, is what he was saying. Let me say that when I saw him in the store, he was with his girlfriend, and I had just assumed his girfriend dragged him into the store, so I had no idea he had Buddhist inclinations. You have to remember, I live in the middle of the Bible belt, and the discovery that I'm not the only Buddhist in my A.A. group is significant. He and I both agree that A.A. and Buddhism go together well. He said that when he picked up his white chip, he also started reading a book about the the four noble truths and that they go hand in hand with A.A.'s "big book." I had noticed the very same thing, and had written a bit about it in my journal. In fact, I think there is a strong correspondence between the four noble truths and A.A.'s 12 steps.

Drying

I just took a shower, and am letting evaporation do its work. I went to a packed A.A. meeting this morning. When I walked in the door I saw many more faces than I've ever seen in this particular meeting, and while trying to find a seat, I thought to myself "New Year's Resolutions." I hope that many of these people keep coming back and finally get the program. I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions. When I was in Junior High School, perhaps I resolved to be more aggressive, and I'm sure at some point I resolved to "get a girlfriend," but in the past few years I haven't made any resolutions at all. That's not to say that I don't make resolutions. It's just that they are not particularly confined to New Year's Eve. There are plenty of things about myself I'd like to change. Just this morning I witnessed a person with some time under their belt picking up a white chip. (i.e they had relapsed.) And you know what? I felt a smug satisfaction at that. I didn't even examine the feeling, it felt so normal, until afterwards when I was driving back. When I saw the feeling for what it was, a deep shudder went through me at how this awful, poisonous thought had arisen so naturally.

Also, I'd like to pass along a prayer request:


Dear Dharma Path Participants,

Dharma Path participant Jaime Razurri was kidnapped in Gaza yesterday. He was sent to Gaza as a reporter in December. Everyone please pray for his safety and quick release.

Om Mani Padme Hum

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. (It's kind of funny how the phrase "merry christmas" survives as one of the only modern usages of the word "merry." I prefer saying things like "Happy Christmas.") My wife and I went out to the Waffle House for lunch and then we went to see a movie. I also got some recreational reading done, and continued to work on a knitting project that my wife is helping me with... A mockingbird with feathers puffed out against the cold just landed on a branch outside my window... Anyway, I look forward to getting more reading done this week, and finally finishing the knitting project (a hat).

It is strange the way the Christmas season is invested with such significance, how deeply it is burned into my brain and the brains of others. It's just another day, and I don't mean that as a slam against it's religious significance. Most people celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday, and that's the concept that's really burned into my brain. In fact, when I was growing up, I felt like Christmas equated with the receiving of presents in the morning. I would be incredibly excited the night before. (I don't know why, alhtough I still feel it to a far lesser degree.) Then I would rush down in the morning, we would tear open our presents in a frenzy, and then I would feel let down, almost dejected. Not because I didn't get good presents, but because no material goods could possibly fulfill the desire that had built in my heart in the days before Christmas. It's actually just an example of incorrect thinking on my part, but at that point in my life, I lacked the maturity, awareness and desire to modify my expectations and behavior to more closely match reality. Then, after presents, we had dinner with visiting family, and I found this to be incredibly boring and painful. All I wanted to do was be alone, possibly playing video games or reading. It is only recently that I've found being with other people a blessing rather than a curse.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Wee sleekit cowrin timorous beastie

This is one of the two mice we captured when we first moved into our house. La Misma's post on her blog reminded me of the whole incident. Incidentally, I have a grammar question. Should it be "into our house" or "in to our house"?

Buddhism and (Science or Secular Humanism)

I just watched a very inisghtful talk of Richard Dawkins. Dawkins is an evangelical atheist, much the same as I used to be, but I found myself agreeing with almost everything he said. For example, although rocks and tables consist mostly of empty space, they look solid because our brains have evolved to see them as solid, which is the most useful way to perceive them in the particular range of speeds and energies that we live in. If we were made of neurtinos, we probably would have evolved to see rocks as being filled with empty space. He makes a number of interesting points along these lines, about how bats probably hear in color for example. At the end of his talk, he went on to say that a human is merely a complicated machine (no evidence given) and that millions of people were subject to the deluded perception of the universe as having human characteristics. (I think he was trying to say that belief in God was tantamount to this perception, although he didn't explicitly say so.) I agree with this. Even if one calls the totality of existence "God," it is still a misconception to give it human characteristics. So, really, the only thing I actually disagree with is the idea that consciousness is explainable in mechanistic terms. Throughout the whole talk, which is about 20 minutes long, I was thinking how Buddhist it seemed, and I was a bit puzzled at the end comments, which didn't seem to follow logically from the beginning. This is probably becuase Dawkins is arguing against the simplistic religious conceptions that are so common in our culture. For example, the idea that evolution and spiritual belief are inconsistent. He's saying, look, the universe is much more complicated and beautiful than you thought! I say "Hear hear!" However, he then draws the specious conclusion, "Therefore religion is evil." I think he means to say, "Therefore ignorance is evil." He has unconsciously identified a subset of religious practicioners with the whole set.

Christianity and Buddhism

I went up to visit a Japanese Buddhist monastery in the mountains near here. Although they are Japanese, they are not Zen, and I don't actually remember the name of their order. It is quite different than Tibetan Buddhism, but in essence, it is the same. They did a ceremony where they banged on drums and chanted with the goal of world peace. This same group leads an annual walk from Atlanta to Oak Ridge to protest the existence and manufacture of nuclear bombs. The monastery has only two regular residents, a monk and a nun, and I immediately liked them both. After the ceremony, we ate a delicious home-cooked meal that they had prepared. The monk, Brother Izumi, talked a bit about American Buddhism. (By the way, he welcomed us as if we were old friends, even though we practice Tibetan Buddhism.) In any event, he emphasized that Buddhism often reconnects people with their Christian roots, with the true spirit of Christianity. He pointed out that this true spirit is thriving in places like South America. In fact, what Brother Izumi was saying has been echoed by all the Buddhist teachers I've ever heard voice an opinion about the subject. Christianity and Buddhism are not contradictory. My problem is that Christianity is promulgated in a way that gives rise to a lot of misunderstanding and confusion, especially because people cling so much to doctrine. Thus, when I was growing up, I got the clear idea that there is an all-powerful anthropomorphic creator God sitting up their in the sky. Now this concept leads to all sorts of confusion. First, there is the well-known problem that omnipotence is logically contradictory: "Can God create a rock so heavy that he can't lift it?" Second, there is the question of why God causes us to suffer, if, he is after all, the ultimate cause of everything. However, many people have come up with a much more sublte idea of God. Spinoza recognized that "there can be no other thing than God." That is, all of us, the world, the universe, are part of God. We are ineseparable from God. The person A.C., who posts comments on this site, has mentioned a similar idea that "we are all thoughts in God's mind." This, I feel, is quite close to ideas in Vajrayana Buddhism, where everything is said to be a projection of mind. All that we see and experience is a projection of mind. But whose mind? A fundamental Buddhist teaching is that at the ultimate level, there is no such thing as separately existing selves. There is only one mind, and we are all inseparable from it. One could call this God, and be very much in tune with some strands of Christian thought. This unity is not usually called God in Buddhist circles because the term God evokes so much preconceived baggage, I think. For example, it seems funny to say "We are participants in God."

Dharma Path

I signed up a week and a half ago for the Dharma Path program which is being offered by Lama Norlha Rinpoche's Monastery in New York. You commit to an hour of meditation each day, two hours a day on weekends. You can listen to the instructional talks as mp3 files. So far it's already been quite helpful. The program lasts seven months, and culminates in a 9 day retreat at the end of June. In addition, I will be qualified to teach up to the level I achieve. The format is different than what I would have anticipated: for each meditation session, sit in tranquility meditation for a third, contemplate our precious human birth (the first thought that turns the mind toward the dharma) for a third, and then finish with tranquility meditation for a third. One does this for 60 hours, and then moves on to the second thought that turns the mind toward the dharma, eventually covering all four thoughts.

I am still acutely aware of my shortcomings. Indeed, yesterday, I had an outbreak of jealousy, and before that I was nurturing fantasies of my superiority, but all I can say is that I'm making progress.

Funny story

Kansas outlaws practice of evolution

Another Mantis

I did not take the picture above. It's from the wikipedia praying mantis entry. But it is such a cool specimen that, given that the photog has granted an unrestricted license, I feel compelled to post it.

Delusion

Today I talked with a guy who was looking for a reason to stop coming to A.A., but I didn't realize it at the time. He said that Jesus said that it was better to commit a sin then to talk about committing a sin, and therefore it was better to not attend A.A. meetings where we talk about our commiting of sins. This is obviously completely back asswards, but he didn't give me a chance to respond. After saying his thing, he immediately walked away and refused to listen. He's fixated on an idea and become trapped by it, and for all I know, he may die as a result. If there's one thing I think is true, it's that one should never cling to an idea.

This also brings up for me a concept that I have been struggling with, which is whether I should talk about my Buddhist beliefs at A.A. meetings. I asked a Lama I feel close to, and she said that I shouldn't try to introduce Buddhism into A.A. It is basically a Christian program, she said, and my doing this would probably be a source of confusion and tension. She said that it might be appropriate to discuss it with someone who sees me doing well, and asks me how I came to be this way. Having had this experience this morning, I see that her advice was good. If someone can be driven away because he doesn't think A.A. is Christian enough, just imagine the confusion I might cause. People might be driven away because they don't understand Buddhism. In fact, one guy I talked to asked "That's not Satanism, is it?" when I mentioned I was a Buddhist. I do not want it on my conscience that I drove someone away from the program.

Currently when I share in meetings, I use the term "God," but I use it metaphorically, so that the other people there can identify with what I'm saying. It's a way to promote harmony. If we live spiritually, we are helping other beings, no matter whether we perceive ourselves to be Buddhists or not. It would probably help no-one to say, "Through the help of Buddhas and other enlightened beings, as well as the ripening of my positive karma, I heard what I needed to hear at tonight's meeting" as opposed to "God made sure I heard what i needed to hear tonight."

The Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind Toward the Dharma

Namo! Lama infallible constant protector, be aware of me.

(1) The freedoms and the favorable conditions of this human birth are extremely difficult to obtain.

(2) Everything born is impermanent and bound to die.

(3) The results of virtuous and unvirtuous actions (which are causes) are inexorable.

(4) The three realms of cyclic existence have the nature of an ocean of suffering.

Remembering this, may my mind turn towards the dharma.

When Lama Norlha Rinpoche and his translator Lama Jamdron visited recently, someone asked them what should a newcomer to Buddhism do to get started on the path. Lama Jamdron replied that the four thoughts that turn the mind are of fundamental importance. In light of this, I have transcribed them here. Here is how I understand them:

(1) It is extremely difficult to get a human body, the only body, it is said, where one can achieve enlightenment. Animals do not have enough awareness, but Gods also are too self-absorbed to do it. Thus we have an incredible oppurtunity here, and it would be a shame to waste it.

(2) It is important to recognize the transitory nature of existence. There is nothing solid to cling to. One should always be ready to let go of objects and ideas. This is a fundamental idea in Buddhism, and recognizing this, we are encouraged to go to the Buddha, the dharma and the sangha for refuge.

(3) If you do bad things, bad results will occur. If you do good things, good results will occur. It is important to see this, because, as a friend of mine put it, when you see that you'll never get out of the rut by doing things the same old way, you'll be encouraged to try a new way.

(4) The nature of the world we live in is suffering, so we need to do something about it! The bodhisattva vow is to liberate people and other beings from their suffering. As I understand things, a Buddha has escaped the three realms of cyclic existence, but chooses to remain to help all sentient beings achieve enlightenment.

These are some of the thoughts that occur to me, but please feel free to comment, criticize or correct. I'm still progressing and learning.

Praying Mantis

This praying mantis was crawling around on our recycle bin. When I moved the camera around to snap pictures, its head swiveled to follow the action. Click on the picture for a bigger version.

All are worthy of praise and compassion

It occurred to me today, and I might not have it totally right, that we all probably have some choice in which rebirth we take. We can't trump karma, and if we are deluded, we might not be able to choose effectively, but I still think there is a kernel of choice there. Thus, when you see someone with character defects, or things you wish to criticize, realize that there is a pure being within that has chosen to take the human form you are criticizing, and that they must have had a reason for it. We all have pure Buddha nature within, and eventually this will manifest itself continuously, when we become Buddhas. In the meantime, why worry too much? Suffering, like the rest of this perceived world, is an illusion. However, most beings don't know that, so they experience the suffering. Having compassion on these beings is a core tenet of Buddhism, and the antidote for their suffering is to help those beings realize that their suffering is illusory. Now you might say, if their suffering is an illusion, why do you need to stop it? That's kind of what I thought when I first heard this type of reasoning. However, the problem is just the ambiguity of language I think. Clearly beings suffer. The point is that they don't have to if they can perceive the illusory nature of reality. (Which is not to say that reality doesn't exist.) This is what is meant by "suffering is an illusion." At the very least, even if you don't believe in rebirth, this sort of thinking could help to ameliorate ill feelings toward others. Think of it as an imaginative exercise.

Prayer request

I just found out that a good friend of mine who happened to be an alcoholic and drug addict was found dead under a nearby bridge. He had relapsed. When he was sober, he was a good person, a friendly and earnest individual. When he was under the influence he was spiritually sick. Please pray that he finds a good rebirth. (In Tibetan Buddhism, we believe that after death a person becomes an intermediate being for up to 49 days, after which they find rebirth. The rebirth is determined by awareness and karma. The more aware you are, the more control you have, but you can only operate within the bounds of karma. Thus people who have killed can be reborn as hell beings, although through spiritual practice such negative karma can be purified.) In any event, his name is Volly. I never knew his last name.

Wonderful Karma

At our center we've been blesses with two wonderful teachers in as many weeks. Lama Inge visited us from Spokane, Washington. She is a remarkable woman. The thing I noticed most about her is that she is joyful all of the time, and it is infectious. This week Lama Norlha Rinpoche is visiting, who is a very high Lama. He has all sorts of plans for us. One of our sangha members has some rural land, and Rinpoche wants to build a stupa and a dharma center. Last night, my wife and I went to a pot luck expecting the usual sort of thing, but the group ended up planning a nonprofit organization for the project. Rinpoche says he will spend half his time here and will send us several graduates of his three year retreat program every year as teachers. We can't believe our luck, especially as this came completely out of the blue.

A stupa, by the way, is a large monument which is infused with hundreds of thousands of prayers, and they are reputed to have the ability to balance the elements and mitigate natural disasters. It will also help to purify the region's negative karma from slavery and oppresion of native americans.

Criticizing others

To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce only friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities. If you find yourself slandering anybody, first imagine that your mouth is filled with excrement. It will break you of the habit quickly enough.

-H.H. the Dalai Lama

Most interesting meeting?

A friend of mine posed the question of which pair of people (either real or fictional) would make for the most interesting meeting. Would anybody care to suggest some possibilities? I suggested Shakyamuni Buddha and Jesus. It would be interesting to hear what they would have to say to each other.

The Genuine Buddha Dharma

Always be friendly. Never have malice. You can change the world this way. Let the happiness flow through you, without effort. This will cause more good in the world than anything else. Joy is contagious. Its effects endure.

Don't worry, if that's what you were doing!

I haven't had a chance to post lately, but all is well with me. More to come soon.

Homophobia

I was at an A.A. meeting today in which someone talked prejudicially about gays, and lots of people in the room laughed. I didn't laugh. I felt like I had been kicked in the head, and I'm still trying to recover. Here, I thought, were a bunch of spiritual people. Surely they were above this, I had assumed. It really saddens me, because this hatred has real consequences, as I mentioned in my previous post. It's almost like some highly realized being read that post and decided from my glib, self-comforting analysis that I needed to be shaken out of my complacency, to show me just how deep the sickness runs. During my meditation just now, it occurred to me to regard the whole episode as a dream, and, by extension, the rest of life. This way I'm less attached and these emotions become less disturbing. On the other hand, I have decided to make the following vow:

I vow never to laugh at another being's expense.

Derision of others has absolutely no place in my mind, and it's possible for me to completely give it up. What a thought!

Why is homophobia so rampant?

I just took a look at the early election results and the anti-gay marriage amendment for our state is going to pass in a landslide. This really disheartens me. Why can't people put themselves in each other's shoes? I can't imagine how much anguish young gays have to deal with growing up in a society that hates them. I know a lot of them try to suppress it as result, and that leads nowhere good.

I suppose I should be grateful for the progress that we've made as a society. Alan Turing, the brilliant mathematician who was instrumental in breaking German enigma codes in WWII, was forced by the British government to take injections to "cure" his gayness, which for some reason caused him to grow breasts. He ended up committing suicide. At least we have made some progress since then.

We've also made progress on our racism, although it is still an ugly and pervasive force. Often it acts subconsciously, but I've also encountered it in the raw, unfiltered form. Just like gays, young blacks have to contend with the fact that society treats them as though they are inferior. One study found that black kids younger than a certain age preferred playing with black dolls, but after reaching that age, they began to prefer to play with white dolls. They are, at a very deep level, internalizing the idea that they are inferior.

Harold Ford, in Tennessee, would be the first Black Senator from the south since reconstruction. I hope he wins, just for that reason. My understanding is that after the civile war, a huge influx of black politicians poured into Congress from the south, perhaps matching in precentage the actual percentage of blacks in the population. (Far unlike today.) However, the white oligarchy was not about to let this continue, and from what I remember, proceeded to gerrymander the blacks out of power. It's absolutely disgusting. There's no way to get around it.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 11

(35)
Once you become accustomed to the mental afflictions,
They are hard to cure with antidotes.
Therefore, with the remedies of mindfulness and awareness
To eliminate mental afflictions the moment they arise is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(36)
In brief, wherever you are and whatever you do,
Always examine the state of your mind.
Cultivating mindfulness and awareness continuously,
To benefit others is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(37)
To clear away the suffering of all infinite[ly many] beings,
With superior knowledge free of concepts of the three spheres,
To dedicate the merit accumulated through these efforts to enlightenment
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

Relying on what is taught in the sutras, tantras, treatises,
And the words of the genuine masters,
I have composed these thirty-seven Bodhisattva practices
To benefit those who wish to train on the Bodhisattva's path.

Because my intelligence is small and my studies few,
I cannot compose poetry to please the scholars.
Yet, since they are based on sutras and the teachings of the genuine masters,
I believe these practices of a Bodhisattva are not mistaken.

Nevertheless, since the vast conduct of a Bodhisattva is difficult to fathom
For one with an inferior intellect such as mine,
I pray to the genuine masters to consider with patience
All my mistakes, such as contradictions, incoherence and so on.

By virtue of the merit gathered here,
By the power of relative and ultimate bodhichitta,
May all sentient beings become like the protector Chenrezi,
Who dwells neither in the extreme of existence nor in that of peace.

The monk Thogme,
A proponent of scriptures and logic,
Has composed these verses
In a cave known as Ngulchu Rinchen Puk
To benefit himself and others.


Practice 35 tells us to maintain awareness of ourselves so that when mental afflictions arise, we can apply an antidote from our toolkit. Thus we can catch ourselves, for instance, when we get angry at someone. An antidote that works pretty well for me when this happens is to pray for the well-being of the person I got angry at. This way the momentary anger won't blossom into a resentment. It's remarkable how much I've changed in the past couple of years. It used to be that I was a walking pile of resentments, and that was normal for me. Nowadays, however, when I start to build one, it makes me so uncomfortable that I try to let it go as soon as possible. I'm not perfect, and I do have trouble carrying my mindfulness with me throughout the day, and I still get caught in habit patterns that I find it difficult to break. (e.g. overeating, laziness, obsessive email checking, obsessive internet surfing) Still I am improving, although I don't want that fact to become something I use as an excuse to not make progress.

Practice 36 reinforces a point that I was just making, the need to be mindful throughout the day, and not just when you're sitting and meditating.

For practice 37, I know that the dedication of merit is an important part of Buddhist practice. At the conventional level, you are reinforcing your commitment to help others, and, speaking more spiritually, you are making sure that the merit achieved by your practice isn't squandered. Ani Yeshe Palmo explained it by saying that if you don't dedicate the merit, a careless act such as stepping on a spider will use it all up, but if you dedicate for the benefit of all beings, then the merit persists. Now, how do you truly help another being. According to the Buddha, you liberate others by allowing them to see the empty nature of reality. At a deep level, all things are empty of intrinsic nature. Thus the act of dedicating is itself empty. Here's what Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche has to say:


How does a Bodhisattva dedicate merit? The Bodhisattva applies the superior knowledge of emptiness of the three spheres. This means that he or she purifies the dedication process by realizing that there is no one to dedicate merit, no merit to be dedicated, and no one to receive merit. Subject, action, object do not truly exist. This is the meaning if "...free of concepts of the three spheres," and it cannot be separated from the superior knowledge with which it is suffused, the wisdom that realizes emptiness. Without understanding that the three spheres do not truly exist, it is quite difficult to comprehend how to dedicate merit in this way.

Imagine a dream in which you are sitting at a shrine. In the exact moment of dedication, you awaken and instantly realize that no one has been dedicating merit, no merit has been dedicated, and no one has received any merit. It was all a dream. This is how to understand the practice of dedicating merit.

37 Practices of a Bodhisattva Part 10

(31)
If you have not analyzed your own confusion,
You might put on a Dharmic facade
While behaving in a non-Dharmic way.
Therefore, to continuously analyze your delusion and discard it
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(32)
If, compelled by your own afflictions,
You speak of the faults of other Bodhisattvas,
You, yourself, will degenerate.
Therefore, never to mention the faults of thos
Who have entered the Mahayana Path
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(33)
Desire for gain and honor leads to arguments, and
Activities of listening, reflecting and meditating decline.
Therefore, to relinquish attachment to the households
of friends, relatives and sponsors
Is the practice of a Bodhisattva.

(34)
Harsh speech disturbs the minds of others
And compromises a Bodhisattva's right conduct.
Therefore, to give up harsh and unpleasant speech
Is the practice of a Bodhiattva.


Practice 31 is very important. It is too easy to get caught in the whirlpool of life and fool ourselves into thinking that we are behaving in a positive, spiritual way, when in actual fact we are behaving destructively. We need to look deeply at ourselves and see what we are really doing. That way we won't, for example, sanctimoniously meditate for an hour each day, and then go around berating and belittling people, acting counter to the dharma. This is a common complaint about many religious people: they talk one way, but act another. An antidote to this is deep reflection.

Lama Karma Chötso told us that Practice 32 should be interpreted to mean we shouldn't criticize anyone at all, since we have no way of knowing who has entered the Bodhisattva path, and who has not. This is a good practice for me, because my old habit was to automatically find fault with people, no matter who they were. It makes about as much sense as automatically praising people, but it was really a reflection of my own insecurity and self-hatred. By not criticizing others, and even praising them, it helps to foster a positive environment in my own head as well as contributing to a positive environment out there in the world.

Practice 33 is good common sense. Don't be attached to other people's possessions. There's no need to be jealous of someone else's stuff. Preoccupation with this sort of thing has very little positive use.

Practice 34 is also common sense, if you interpret it to mean that you should never say things whose purpose is to hurt someone else. I don't think it means you should never say anything that someone else might find unpleasant.

Some photos from my recent very long hike

The first photo if from a fire tower. Clicking on any image reveals a larger version.