Codex Seraphinianus

I found out about this amazing book, Codex Seraphinianus, while reading a collection of articles by Douglas Hofstadter. It purports (or does it?) to be an encyclopedia of another civilization or world, written in another language that is indecipherable to us. Most of the images are delightful containing all sorts of playful modifications of form from what we're used. Hofstadter compares it to music. I've included some of my favorite pictures here although I would definitely recommend finding it and looking at it yourself. When one browses the internet, the standard refrain is that large university libraries have it, and indeed, that's where I got my copy.

The first image is from the "botany" chapter. Who says plants have to be connected, or only have one root? The second image is from the "physics" chapter indicating a contraption for some physical experiment that presumably makes sense in their physics. The third image is really funny is all I have to say, and so is the fourth, an entry on one of the various tribes that inhabit this other world.

More philosophy of mind

Beckett, in a comment below, asks: "What if it is true that our rational decision-making thought process is actually a fantasy ; a running commentary to justify decisions already made (a concept supported by some evidence, according to a NY Times article)."

I think this is probably largely true. The way I see it at the moment, the decision making process occurs largely unconsciously, as does the thought generating process. But, who is coming up with that running commentary, and more to the point in my mind, who is experiencing the running commentary? As far as I see, it is our awareness that experiences the results of our unconscious thought processes. However, I don't think that our actions are completely determined by our unconscious mind in this way. What would the point be of our awareness if it were powerless? I think that we can affect the way our unconscious mind works through our awareness, but it is subtle and it takes time.

Mount Timpanogos Photos Part 3

First photo: Emerald Lake, fed by a year-round snow field.
Second photo: Tibetan prayer flags someone had hung on the little structure at the peak. Very cool!
Third and Fourth Photos: A lone mountain goat that was wandering around very close to the summit.

Mount Timpanogos Photos Part 2

The first image captures some mountain goats high on a rock wall. The third photo is a view of the top.

Click on pics for more resolution.

Mount Timpanogos Photos Part 1

I hiked to the top of Mt. Timpanogos about an hour south of Salt Lake. It's definitely among the top hikes I've ever been on, if not the top one. It ranks among the hikes I've done in the high Sierra in California.

Be sure to click on the photos for a larger view.

Salt Lake City

I took a little (1.5 hour) hike from my hotel room up the side of an adjacent foothill this morning. It was hot, but the air is so dry that it didn't feel too bad, especially with a hat. The temperature is actually about the same (95 degrees) as back home, but it feels infinitely better here. I snapped this picture when I reached the highest point I could get to in time. I had a talk to present at 1pm, so I didn't have the luxury of climbing all day, even though it looked like I was about 20 minutes from the peak. Alas. The surrounding countryside is stunningly beautiful.

If you lived in Nebraska, you'd see this all the time!

On the road I'll be

I'll be leaving tomorrow for Salt Lake City, where I'm attending a conference. I've decided to drive because I love to see the countryside change as you move further west. It's about 1800 miles from here, which I plan on doing in two and a half days. The conference itself is three days long, so there'll be more driving than conferencing, but that's okay. While in Utah, I hope to get a bit of hiking done. I'm bringing my trusty camera with me so hopefully I'll get some good pictures. See y'all later!

Hofstadter versus Searle on the mind

I read I am a Strange Loop by Douglas Hofstadter several weeks ago, and it contains an extremely good explanation of something called Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem. This is a result in the foundations of mathematics that says, essentially, that there are true mathematical facts that cannot be proven. The heart of the proof is a method for reading a second encoded meaning into arithmetical statements, one which is consistent with the axioms of arithmetic, but which actually means something else to us. (Similar to the way a string of zeroes and ones underlies the entire operation of your computer, and yet you are reading a different meaning into it.) Hofstadter then points out that this is the way consciousness works. There's the laws of physics which underlie the operation of our brain (kind of like the zeroes and ones), but then there's our conscious experience which arises from symbols interacting at a higher level.

So far, I have to say "Right on!" However, here's where things get sticky. Hofstadter argues that once you have a set of symbols in whatever substrate, the human brain, a computer (not too hard to imagine) or anywhere else (hmm), which is sufficiently complicated then there lies consciousness. John Searle argues against that point of view. He says that computers will never be conscious, even if they act like it, because they won't understand what they're doing. He doesn't explain what makes humans different, though.

I personally believe that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I don't see any reason why computers can't be conscious. Maybe they can, maybe they can't. There definitely seems to be something special about conscious awareness. But here's a question. Could I act like myself, going about my usual daily activities, in the same way I always do, with my conscious awareness shut off? When I phrase it that way, it seems more intuitive that I could not, and that actual conscious awareness is concomitant with behavior of a certain kind.

If a computer were made that acted conscious, would we ever be able to know that it is conscious? It seems unlikely that that could ever be settled scientifically.

And what about the Buddhist perspective? After all, in Buddhism we seek to understand the nature of mind. Well, I don't see any reason why, within the Buddhist framework, computers can't be conscious. There are all types of sentient beings, in all different types of states. (In fact, in one of the hell realms, mention is made of metallic beings.) But, just because I don't see a reason why not, doesn't mean I see a reason why. :)

And now, I must go eat lunch...

One last poem, for now, from the vault

A conversation between the ears of God


Stick your Euclidean prick
Where a conversational vortex
Glimmers and shines
Sparkles and whines
Stick your Euclidean prick where
"Dad's (famous) shorthand" system
Mirror of self
Lurks like a beast ready to spring
Lurks like a metaphor wrapped in cliché
Lurks like a recursion beyond order 2
(Hofstadter thinks like this.)
And that's why rhythm should be preserved
For if it breaks
It will lead to a pantheon of apathy (weak: antiphony)
Clutching a bottle I contemplate (...)
Hidden fear of alcoholism just like Daddy G.
Gee: it's great I meant to say grand
Poetry requires honesty, the "one true (garbled) thought."
Imagine zin is zang and yang is zid.
That was a self-quotation, almost.
Appending I must append, tinker and fix
Separate sentences are required
For each prisoner
of language
Beginning a line with prep
Oh. sition. What? That's pretty damn stupid
If you ask me.

Another poem from the vault

Hills in the desert
Staring at the plains
Cacti, ocotillos, sagebrush, creosote, pinyon, nolinas and juniper
Horned lizard, bighorn sheep, fox, lynx, coyote
In the end there is always a reference to sex
A pass, a lookout, a drop-off into a canyon
My family is with me
My mom is about to be diagnosed with MS
I am free in my own world
I am jubilant
I am crazy
I am struggling to connect with another
I see the clouds spilling and breaking over the mountains
and am awed by their beauty
I am composing songs in my head
I am composing elaborate constructions to show enough primes exist
I am getting impaled by cacti
I am a balloon losing contact with the earth, floating away free

A poem from the vault

I must have composed this when I was in grad school:


One must pay attention to form
words.
One must be alert to detect
subtlety.

Two lie together and share
a biological moment
and bask.

One, two
One, two
and through and through
the vorpal blade goes snicker-snack.

One must pay
attention!
To form words one must be
alert!
Two detect subtlety.

On a less serious note

I went to see the Simpsons Movie today. I got a free ticket when I purchased the season 8 DVDs. It was definitely worth it. Very funny. I also got to see some interesting trailers. (By the way, "trailers" seems like a misnomer since they don't trail behind the movie but actually precede it. Perhaps they should be called trawlers as they are trawling for viewers. But I digress.) One was for a movie in the Resident Evil series, which I know nothing about, but involved a virus that turns almost all of humanity into zombies. (It wasn't specified whether they were flesh-eating.) I'll bet I would hate the movie, but seeing the sketch in the trawler was definitely interesting. I'm not really into the horror/scifi genre. I am however a huge fan of intelligent scifi and fantasy. This is almost universally absent among movies, although there are exceptions, but I have read a large number of really good science fiction and fantasy books. (Disclaimer: I have never read, nor do I plan to read, Harry Potter.) I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy when I was younger and absolutely loved the books, but I actually never read the last 30 pages because, subconsciously I think, I didn't want the books to end. I later reread the series, including the last 30 pages, in time to see the Peter Jackson epics. This positioned me uniquely to nitpick every deviation from the book. Something that really bothered me, but apparently no-one else, was the scene in the first movie where the troupe is attempting to cross the mountains through a dangerous pass. They are forced to turn back because the evil wizard Saruman is creating a storm to block the pass. All very well and good, except that in the book, it is the mountain itself, Caradhas, that turns them back. Gandalf uses the incident to explicitly caution against the view that there is only one enemy. In an age when George Bush says "You're either with us or against us," giving voice to a simplistic view of the world where things are divided neatly into two categories, good and evil, I thought that this parable of Tolkien's was very apt. Things are more complicated. Even though the mountain spirit had no stake in the war, no alliance with Saruman, it was being independently belligerent. That's the way things go. I therefore was very unhappy to see Jackson bulldoze over that nuance and recast the incident more toward the George Bush worldview. But in any event, I digress yet again.

An explanation

Soon after posting the previous poem, I heard from a couple of concerned family members wondering what the heck was going on. Basically the poem is a combined lament, using artistic license, arising from two events in my life. Currently my wife is working in Cambridge, Mass, and has been for many weeks. She's coming back pretty soon but I nevertheless miss her. The other circumstance is that a good friend of mine, who was a sponsee of mine in the A.A. fellowship, has stopped coming to meetings and essentially broken off contact. All at once, the two people who I talked with the most, essentially my two best friends, have absented themselves. This gave rise to that poem, which I felt I needed to share. Still, I'm actually doing well, and I don't want anyone to worry about me. :)

A poem

She's gone.
It hurts.
No number of words will change that.
No amount of activity will remove that
From every thought.
I read in a stupid book that we grieve
Not for the ones lost
But for ourselves.
I read in a beautiful prayer
May all beings abide in equanimity
Free from attachment and aversion
That hold some close and others distant.
I held her close and now she's distant.
She's gone.
It hurts.

Life is like a dream

According to my understanding of Buddhist philosophy, appearances are like a dream. But, if appearances are like a dream, why can't I simply crash my car into a tree, since after all, I would only be dreaming it? I think the answer is that, although appearances are illusory, my mind would not be able to carry that awareness through a car crash. My body would be shocked, and my mind would quickly become attached to confused appearances of the world. Moreover, as it is attached to the appearances of this world, it will also be subject to its laws of physics and karma. So I would die, and my mind would be reborn in a lower realm, as that is where the wind of karma would probably blow me, even though that karmic wind is actually an illusion. On the other hand, an enlightened master, when he or she dies, will be able to maintain their awareness through the death process and remain unattached to appearances. Of course, I'll bet most of my readers regard this worldview skeptically. :) A less controversial example of the same phenomenon is sleep. Most of us cannot maintain our awareness when we sleep. However, some people can lucidly dream. In fact, my Buddhist practice has increased my skill in this regard, though it is still rudimentary. Other people can witness their own deep sleep. They experience states where they are aware and present, watching their mind in the deepest phases of sleep. I read about this, and someone I know actually does this sometimes. An realized master, on the other hand, can maintain his or her awareness throughout their sleep.

Baby raccoon!!!

My neighbor just knocked on my door 20 minutes ago to tell me there was a baby raccoon in her backyard, which I went over and watched for several minutes, before doubling back to get my camera. It was determinedly eating bird seed the whole time.

Some pictures from my retreat

The first picture is of the stupa which is on the Monastery's land in Wappinger's Falls, NY. That's the Hudson River in the background. A stupa is a monument which represents the mind of the Buddha. Statues represent the Buddha's body, and dharma texts represent the Buddha's speech.

The second picture is of a turkey, a type of bird that I frequently saw roaming the monastery grounds.

I feel like I owe my small number of readers a fuller explanation of my experience on the retreat, which was incredibly profound, but I've been told that attempting to describe my experiences causes them to solidify into obstacles. So I guess I'll just leave it at that.

Fascinating Article

Here's a neat article about how the laws of physics may be intertwined with consciousness.

We are meant to be here

Culmination

The retreat is now basically over. I had a good experience and learned quite a bit. Now I have to face the real world. Some part of what I experienced here will no doubt stay with me as I slowly make progress. :)

Departing for Enlightenment

Hello, gentle readers. I'm leaving tomorrow for a trip around the northeast. I'll be visiting relatives and also participating in a 9-day retreat at Kagyu Thubten Choling monastery. I am very excited about it. It will be mostly silent, except for dedicated talk times, which will be a fascinating experience, I'm sure. The focus of the retreat is mahamudra, which, as far as I know now, prior to the retreat, is a system of deep meditation. As it is a retreat, there will be no contact with the outside world, and so needless to say, I won't be blogging during the retreat. So, I bid you adieu, for now.

More photos from the same hike

Rhododendron and Mountain Laurel. (so I've been told.)

Some Photos From Today's Hike

The top photo is a junco taking a short bath in a pool of water in the rock. Also got a couple great pictures of a deer munching some leaves. The squirrel was pretty neat too. Be sure to click on the images to see the large versions.

An oppurtunity

I'm passing on an oppurtunity to participate in the million mani project. If any of my readers wishes to participate, just say "Om mani padme hum" as many times as you care to. (Even once.) Then post the number you've recited (and the recitations can be silent) to the comments section, and I'll pass along the total numbers, so that we all may benefit! This mantra is the mantra of Chenrezi, the boddhisattva of compassion, and is the most popular mantra in Tibet. It embodies the aspiration to free all beings from suffering. The deadline is June 15.



Message from: Linda Jordan KSC-NH coordinator

Dear friends,

In an exciting development, KTC Monastery is sponsoring this year's
Saka Dawa million mani project. Several of the affiliated centers
have contacted us to let us know they are participating, and I am
hoping to hear from the others, either for our weekly progress update
or on June 15, when we tally up our total for the whole month.

Our tradition is to send a progress report each Sunday during Saka
Dawa. Students affiliated with a particular center will report their
numbers to that center, and the center will forward the total to us.
Students not affiliated with a center are welcome to email us
directly. We have every hope of being inundated with emails!

For details and background, please visit our website at
www.nhkagyu.org . In brief, everyone is encouraged to recite the
mantra of Chenrezi, om mani peme hung, as many times as possible
between now and the end of Saka Dawa, June 15. We will put all our
numbers together on June 15 and hope to reach a total of a million.
Mantras may be done as part of formal practice as well as during any
ordinary activity, with or without mindfulness. They may be counted
with traditional prayer beads, by timing your recitation (especially
useful when driving), or using any other method you can think of.

Mantra recitation is very beneficial at any time, but especially
during the holy month of Saka Dawa, when the effects of all our
actions are magnified, and our Dharma practice earns extra merit.

Each participant is said to earn the full merit of the entire
community recitation, no matter how large or small the individual
contribution. So even if you only have time to do a few mani's,
please don't be shy about reporting them.

We look forward to hearing from you.

"Let us trust the mantra, let us allow the body to attend to its work
and the mind to its reflections leading to result, but at the same
time let us recite the mantra om mani peme hung, without even being
attentive. We will purify many karmic veils and finally attain
awakening." Kalu Rinpoche teaching at Samye Ling, Scotland, 1983

"Perseverance will allow one to achieve supreme enlightenment."
--Ornament of Mahayana Sutra

Loch Ness

Loch Ness Article


Is this convincing? Not really, but fun to watch anyway!

Mother cardinal

A cool image of Jesus

I found this cool picture of Jesus done in the style of Tibetan thangkas. I can't attribute it properly since I found it on a cached webpage via a Google search. I couldn't find the image on the webpage itself.

I think it's important to be teachable and see the wisdom in all traditions. I found myself drifting into a bit of sectarian closed-mindedness the other day, while reading Thich Nhat Hanh, and being dismissive of it since he's a Zen Buddhist and not a Tibetan Buddhist. But the more I reflected on what he had to say, the more I found it to be true. Moreover, once I saw the truth of his words, it actually gave me a lot of peace, calm and equanimity.

In short, and somewhat subconsciously, after studying the four thoughts that turn the mind to the dharma, I came to the conclusion that all aspects of human experience are suffering. It was almost like I didn't give myself permission to enjoy things, because I "knew" that they were tainted by suffering. In fact, Buddha taught that pure experience is possible. It is possible to attain the cessation of suffering. Now I had known this, but phrased this way, it seemed to me that all of my experiences would be suffering up until the attainment of enlightenment, at which point the suffering would cease. Thich Nhat Hanh very simply said that everything is not suffering and asked the reader to please enjoy the sunset and other experiences. I think that pure experiences are possible for ordinary people, and that the closer we get to Buddhahood, the more we progress down the path, the more often those pure experiences will manifest.

An eye-opening article

I can't believe the following article. It boggles my mind.
Too much time online

Cardinal and grackle

Goldfinch!

I snapped these pictures in my backyard earlier today.

Cool article

This is a great article which I received in my inbox right after writing the previous post about science's relation to Buddhism.

Article

Mysterious Consciousness

[Forgive the sententious tone of the following post. I take myself too seriously sometimes.]

A sense of permanent unchanging entities is a deep subconscious bias that, I'm pretty sure, all humans have. There is an inherent idea that situations are stable, and when, through the natural force of impermanence, situations transform and dissolve, we often have a sense of regret and suffering. This occurs at all levels from trivial to profound. An alcoholic suffers from the idea that the alcoholic buzz is a state that can be perpetuated ad infinitum, and we suffer when a loved one dies because our concept of their perpetuity is shattered. So what is the root of this bias toward perceiving things as permanent and unchanging? According to one level, that's the whole origin of this world of samsara that we wander in. The mistaken perception of an unchanging "I" starts the whole thing in motion, and soon we are surrounded in a cloud of karmic illusion. Yet, on another level, there ought to be a more scientific explanation of why we have this strong sense of self. An appealing explanation a la Dawkins is that a sense of self is extremely useful when it comes to passing along genes. After all, we are the progeny of those who have successfully passed on their genes, implying those genes probably select for traits which best assist those genes in being passed along further. Thus, it's good to have a sense of self that one cherishes and defends, so that one's genes survive. So at one level, a deep and basic component of our behavior is simply a side effect of an iterative mathematical process.
I believe these two explanations are completely consistent myself, and I even think that the laws of physics themselves may be products of our karma. The universe appears a certain way to us as a function of our collective karma, and that includes the laws of physics. But why, if there is a more conventional explanation, should one believe the Buddhist explanation at all? To me the bare fact of our experienced consciousness is so mysterious that it cries out for something besides the conventional laws of physics. Also, the gene explanation, like any scientific explanation, only goes so far. The laws of deduction are inherently limited. A chain of implications is only a bridge between two unknowns, but doesn't tell you how to deduce the truth of the fundamental ingredients. Furthermore, the idea of elementary causation can only go so far. To say that one thing causes another is a huge simplification, since in any event a number of causes and conditions come in to play. It's more like the entire universe at any given moment is what causes the next moment, although even this is not right since quantum theory implies that physics is only deterministic at a probabilistic level. (And also, relativity says that there's no such thing as having one instant of time across the entire universe.) Thus scientific explanation is inherently limited, but still valid within its scope.

Tweaking my site

Hi all. As you can see I'm tweaking my site's design. I wanted something more soothing than the harsh white on black that I had previously. Since it will show up differently depending on your computer, please let me know about readability issues. Is this easier to read? More pleasant. Can I change anything to make it better? (Well obviously I can, but are there specific suggestions?)

A Comparison [Poem]

In the morning, I cling desperately to sleep,
but am propelled, against my will, into wakefulness.
Images of forceful separation manifesting in my dream.

When my time has come, I cling desperately to this life,
but am propelled, against my will, across the threshold,
into the unknown.

A spin of the prayer wheel

HO!
Mesmerised by the sheer variety of perceptions,
which are like the illusory reflections
of the moon in water,
Beings wander endlessly astray
in samsara's vicious cycle.
In order that they may find comfort and ease
in the all -pervading luminosity
of the true nature of their minds,
I generate the immeasurable love,
compassion, joy and equanimity
of the awakened mind,
the heart of bodhicitta.

nyingma buddhism - jikmé lingpa - 18th century

I spun the prayer wheel at worldprayers.org, and this prayer came up. I rather like it.

An old poem I wrote

I discovered this poem while cleaning out my desk. I wrote it while in grad school some years ago. In fact I discovered quite a few poems, even some early drafts of poems I had rewritten extensively. Anyway here it is. (I've refrained from editing it, even though I think it needs editing.


Twenty billion discoveries and dismissals of a single fact, discovered.
Though facts are like clouds, uncountable,
Are weakly collected in these words.
If you ask Why? many times the question can always be repeated.

We fly slower than light through time.
Our minds wade through increasing entropy.
Movie frames that increase in information.

They fly faster than light backward through our time.
Their energy is the impetus for our creation
As we are for their's.

Or: time sits in Time.
The universe begins and shoots backwards as well as forwards.
As soon at it was created, it always was.

Buddhism and Vegetarianism

I was asked the following question:

Why aren't those Tibetan Buddhists who eat meat concerned about the issue of participating in the death of a sentient being?

They are concerned, but the thought is that eating meat from an animal that has already been killed is not nearly as bad as killing it yourself. Thus it is strictly forbidden to kill an animal yourself, or to directly cause an animal to be killed. For example, by pointing to a lobster and asking that they cook it for you. Of course, by buying meat and supporting the system that continues to kill beings, you are accumulating negative karma. The practical reality is, though, that the amount that Buddhists are contributing to the maintenance of the current world system of food distribution is vanishingly small. If the situation were different, for example if a monk is trapped on an island with a small handful of other people, and the monk encourages the others to kill animals for him to eat, that would be a highly nonvirtuous act.

I asked Lama Inge this very question, and she said don't delude yourself into thinking that being a vegetarian is a pristine virtuous state. Consider all of the insects and other animals that are killed during farming, and consider the mistreatment of the farm workers, often in third world countries. Basically, we do what we can. If we are able to make a change to save the lives of some sentient beings, we do it, but if it is beyond our capability at this point, rather than throwing in the towel, we simply do our best. Many people have severe physical difficulties with vegetarianism. Not everybody's body is equipped to handle it. The Dalai Lama himself has been advised by his doctors that he has to eat some meat, otherwise he gets jaundice. What he said is that we should celebrate and have joy for those of us who can maintain a vegetarian diet. Think "Good for them! I'm glad they can do it!"

Personally, I try to be as vegetarian as possible, but am open to eating meat if circumstances merit. I recall a specific instance when I was visiting someone's house, and they offered me some food, I think it was chicken, and I ate it because I felt it was better to be polite and harmonious with the people around me. I don't feel that my eating it contributed in any substantial way to the harming of sentient beings since the animal was already dead.

My weekend with the Lamas

More lama dancing, including, one night, lama line dancing! I also snapped a shot of this bee fly which seemed very attracted to me as I was watching the festivities.

I took refuge again, this time with Lama Norlha Rinpoche. My dharma name is Dondrup Gawa, which means Joyfully Accomplishing Aims. That's a good name I think!

Lama Dancing

Here's a couple snapshots of today's lama dancing ceremony. These are traditional after three year retreats, and help to pacify negative karma attached to a region, as well as the negative karma of the participants and the observers. As Lama Norlha Rinpoche explains, the region where we live has a lot of residual negative karma left over from the civil war, and he wanted to help heal this by bringing this dancing ceremony to us. Very cool.

The KTC Retreatants

I snapped this picture of the retreatants chanting today. Lama Norlha Rinpoche is seated at the little wooden table.

The Lamas are Coming!

At the KTC monastery run by Lama Norlha Rinpoche in upstate NY, they have been having a series of three-year retreats. The sixth three year retreat has just opened up, and the graduating monastics are now touring various places, spreading the good karma. We're very blessed that they're visiting here. I was part of the party meeting them yesterday. They were driving an old tourbus, which had a faded picture of Marilyn Monroe or someone similar looking on the back of the bus. The bus was creeping along the highway, because the engine was not in good shape. Lama Norlha wanted to stop at a grocery store to buy supplies, so we led them to a Walmart Supercenter. (Not anyone's first choice, but the bus couldn't park elsewhere, and the monastics didn't seem to mind.) So then the bus pulled over, and a wide variety of monastics exited the bus. They were all wearing the gold and maroon robes, some were young, some were elderly. Most were caucasian, although there were a couple of chinese. Then this whole crew went into Walmart, grabbed a cart, and just started piling in all sorts of random things. It was really quite a site to see. People were surprisingly polite. Only a few people stared. As we were checking out, the check-out woman took a liking to us, telling us about how there was some cult in Kentucky that killed little children, but that she would set the other employees straight about us! Lama Jamdron pointed out that Buddhists don't like to kill bugs, do say nothing of murdering people! Anyway, they piled back in the bus and we led them up to the land where this week's festivities will be up in the mountains. Luckily the bus made it. I got to talking with several of the retreatants. They all have distinct personalities, but they're all very sweet and nice people.

An excerpt from the Diamond Cutter (Prajnaparamita) Sutra

As a lamp, a cataract, a star in space
an illusion, a dewdrop, a bubble
a dream, a cloud, a flash of lightning
view all created things like this.

-Shakyamuni Buddha

A friend of mine posted a poem on her blog that brought this to mind.

Of ants and disciples

I've been thinking, as I progress along the Buddhist path, about how I must have done something right in a former life to be in the spot I am today, and oh how wonderful I am for that. I was a student of my current lama in a previous life, my imagination has told me. I'm big and important, even if it's not obvious in this life, so the mental narrative goes. I have been building up this view for quite a while. Then, suddenly, I remembered a story about Kalu Rinpoche. Once when he was younger he blessed many ants. Then many years later, he realized that many of the students that had come to him were actually reincarnations of the ants he had blessed! How quaint, I was thinking, when I first heard the story, but I finally realized my story may be similar. I could have been an ant in a previous life which an infinitely kind person blessed. Not so much to be prideful about anymore, although there remains a lot to be grateful for. :)

Hiking photos

Here are some photos from today's hike. The trailhead is actually 3 hours away, so we drove there last night. I slept under the stars while my hiking partner slept in the car. The park is in a very remote area, and the light pollution was minimal. It was very cool. We saw several large hawks, but I wasn't able to snap their picture.

I had the following thought while hiking: "Every experience is a mixture of pleasure and pain."

A spider!

Took a picture of this spider on the wall of our den. It's probably about half an inch long, to give a sense of scale. It's been patrolling the walls of our den for about a week now, usually hanging out by the ceiling. I feel bad because I don't think there's that much in here for it to eat.

A neat Padmasambhava quote

I read this passage last night, and it made me smile.

Though you are born as a human being, you are not beyond suffering. To begin with, before birth there is the suffering of being inside your mother's womb,where it is like being thrown into an abyss when your mother is lifting; like being squashed between cliffs when your mother is full of food; like fluttering in the wind when your mother is standing up; like being suppressed by a mountain when your mother is lying down; like being strangled when taking birth; like being thrown into a heap of thorns when laid down; and like a bird being carried off by a hawk when your mother takes you up again.

-Padmasambhava, quoted in "The Lotus Born, the Life Story of Padmasambhava"

Parallels between A.A. and Buddhism

I've been trying to really integrate my Buddhist beliefs into the A.A. program. Superficially, it's difficult, mainly because there's no creator deity in Buddhism, and the A.A. literature has the concept of God throughout it. I'm learning that it can be done, though. I'm leading someone through the steps right now, and as I do so, I plan on redoing the steps myself. Already, with step 3, I'm making progress, I think. Step 3 says that we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. After searching on the internet for a Buddhist interpretation of this step, I came across an article which mentioned that the Buddhist concept of taking refuge is probably the clearest parallel to the third step. A Buddhist practitioner takes refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma (sacred teachings), and the Sangha (community of spiritually enlightened beings). This essentially means that one places one's trust in them. While I had paid lip service to taking refuge before, having drawn this tight connection with the third step, I feel like I actually get it at a much deeper level now. In connection with this is the A.A. phrase "Let go and let God." A Buddhist view on this might be simply "Let go." We need to get our egos, and sense of self, out of the way. In a Buddhist interpretation, once could say that there are billions of enlightened beings out there doing their best to help all sentient beings. My contribution based on ignorance is not helping. However, if I let go of my sense of self, I can actually gain access to the primordial wisdom that comes with the path to Buddhahood. This is not essentially different from saying "God's will be done." The essential point is to remove one's ego and self-cherishing from the picture.

I attend a Big Book (the A.A. manual) study on Thursdays, and this past Thursday we were reading the following passage (p.62).

Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate...So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid.

Note the emphasis on entirely getting rid of self!

Here is a parallel excerpt from The Torch of the Definitive Meaning by Jamgon Kongtrul.

The root of suffering in this world is the accumulation of negative karma. The root of negative karma is the disturbing emotions. The root of the disturbing emotions is the ignorance that cherishes a self.

Again we see the same point: the root of our suffering is the ignorance that cherishes a self. Note also that the Big Book says that our troubles arise out of ourselves. That's karma! It's uncanny how deep the parallels run when one looks at it in the right way!

Cherokee Purification Prayer

A friend of mine emailed me this prayer, and it's really cool!

" Great Spirit (U-ne-qua), whose voice I hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world. Hear me;
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple
sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear
your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.
Help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards me.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
Help me seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.
Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest
enemy MYSELF.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without
shame