An on-the-spot equanamity practice is to walk down the street with the intention of staying as awake as possible to whomever we meet. This is training in being emotionally honest with ourselves and becoming more available to others. As we pass people we simply notice whether we open up or shut down. We notice if we feel attraction, aversion, or indifference, without adding anything extra like self-judgment. We might feel compassion toward someone who looks depressed, or cheered up by someone who' smiling to himself. We might feel fear and aversion for another person without even knowing why. Noticing where we open up and where we shut down---without praise or blame---is the basis of our practice. Practicing this way for even one block of a city street can be an eye-opener.
We can take the practice even further by using what comes up as the basis for empathy and understanding. Our own closed feelings like fear or revulsion thus become an opputunity to remember that others also get caught this way. Our open states like friendliness and delight can connect us very personally with the people that we pass on the streets. Either way, we are stretching our hearts.
-Pema Chödrön, Comfortable with uncertainty
I have to say, too often my observations of those I pass are limited to feelings of derision. It's an old, hard-to-break habit, and I'd like to be rid of it. I'm doing better than I was, but sometimes I catch myself doing it unconsciously. I like this idea of going to a crowded place such as a city block and practicing empathizing with each person.
2 comments:
I find the prospect a bit frightening. I would be afraid that someone woul begin to interact with me!
Similarly, at times, I find myself internally mocking people I pass. I deride them, rage at them, feel superior to them. When this senseless vitriol is churning so eagerly, I know that there is some large uneasiness that I am trying to escape.
I know what you mean. The way it used to be with me, this senseless vitriol was a habit. During W's first term I would walk to school and have political arguments with a pro-Bush straw man I invented. I was pretty clever at cutting down the straw man's arguments! Did I accomplish anything? I did manage to deepen and entrench my bitterness. :)
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