One of the things that seems very easy for an ex-Christian to understand is egolessness or selflessness. The idea that the self is not so important. But I think there is actually a vast difference here between the two concepts. Of course, we must forget the idea that ego is sinful. But beyond that, I think the word "ego," having many different connotations and uses, both technical and general, is confusing.
We must have a strong ego to properly let it go. My main teacher in Zen thus far has been Shunryu Suzuki. He says that to practice zazen is to express our true selves. In yet another duality, the leaving of the self allows another self space. In psychological terms, I believe what happens is that both ego and superego are quieted, and that afterward, superego may not be as assertive or powerful. My roundabout point here is that there is some danger in the encouragement to egolessness. For those like myself with bruised, shrunken, damaged egos, it is important to rehabilitate the thing before letting it go. I must understand what my will is before I can really choose not to follow it.
"Each one of us must make his own true way, and when we do, that way will express the universal way. This is the mystery. When you understand one thing through and through, you understand everything. When you try to understand everything, you will notunderstand anything. The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything. So when you try hard to make your own way you will help others, and you will be helped by others. Before you make your own way you cannot help anyone, and no one can help you. To be independent in this true sense, we have to forget everything we have in our mind and discover something quite new and different moment after moment. This is how we live in this world."
--Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind; "Emptiness"; p.111.
I am glad I quoted at the end of this piece as opposed to the start, because I do not know how to follow such words properly.
6 comments:
This idea used to puzzle me considerably, but once I had an experience of it that was very interesting to me. I was in a theater watching a movie, very absorbed, and I suddenly noticed I felt a deep sense of self, a sureness that I didn't usually feel. I felt more like myself while utterly absorbed in an artwork than I did when consciously probing my psyche. I found myself by losing myself.
My own personal take on the concept of egolessness is similar. It's not that you take away everything and nothing's left. Rather you just remain true to yourself. One might call this realizing one's Buddha nature, or being suffused with the Holy Spirit. An analogy I've heard is that meditation is like clearing away the clouds from the sky. What's left is in a sense empty, but on the other hand it really is there. It's the vast blue sky. I also like what la misma said about being absorbed in a work of art. It reminds me that my mind does its thing even when I'm not internally vocalizing or analyzing what it's doing. I can sometimes see my mind moving and thinking without analytical thoughts rising to the surface, especially during analytic meditation. Perhaps la misma's experience in the theater is similar to what happens during meditation.
It is harder to express yourself when you are divided; when there is a censor or referee observing your thoughts and deeds. Without this division, there is clearer action, but no commentator to note it.
Yes. I think it's related to the super-ego concept, but it's not merely about moral judgements. It's also about providing a mental narrative.
yes
Hello,
I just wanted to drop a quick note about a new blog that has just opened up called... Out of Christianity. It is a community that is inviting anyone that is coming or has come Out of Christianity to share there story and engage in discussion of their journey.
We were once not only Christians, but youth pastors, evangelists, nuns, and music ministers, yet we've left the Christian faith.
In order to create a 'safe' environment that is free from the evangelism that we used to engage in ourselves, we're asking that Christians respect this forum as being off limits to try and 'save' those of us that have already been set free. It didn't take long for this request to be violated by the ambitious Christians who were out to rescue the backsliders :-), so we're moderating all comments.
You can read ‘Your Invitation’ to catch the vision of what our purpose is and read some of our stories.
www.outofchristianity.com
Thanks.
Aaron
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