This passage points to several things I think are important. First, if you want to make a difference in the world, taking care of your own backyard is a good place to start. Cultivating an attitude of openess and compassion via practice on oneself and acquaintances, one can maintain this attitide if a new situation, which may incolve the choice of aggression, arises.
I like also the idea of being comfortable with the aspects of one's personality that we tend to reject as unworthy. I believe this makes perfect sense, even from the perspective of caring for others. It has been remarked, and I believe it, that we tend to belittle and criticize others when they evidence character flaws that we recognize and detest in ourselves. Thus, if we take the step of not detesting our character flaws, we are making progress toward compassion for others. I often find that a non-critical attitude toward my character "flaws" allows me to work around them, or to see that they are not actually flaws at all. (When I say "often," bear in mind that I am relatively new at this.)
3 comments:
This is very true and painfully difficult.
When I feel nervous or ill at ease while I meditate, I endeavor not to think about it, but to allow the feeling to be in me. It often passes relatively quickly, but I think of this as practice in learning to be accepting of discomfort.
If we can find the places of shame and rage in ourselves, we are less likely to be threatened by such feelings in others.
The trick, I think is in accepting, not repressing.
Indeed. Indeed. See also a response of mine to a post of yours below.
Attitude makes a difference. I don;t mean in the usual sense that "If I try hard enough and maintain a positive attitude I will succeed." Rather I mean in the tautological sense that if I change my perception, say from cynical to approving, then I feel better. I just got back from Ithaca, where I was visiting for several days, and I was able to implement this idea more than once. I was walking through the cold and wind, and I caught myself thinking, "I wish I were back in my hotel room," which was still half an hour away. Rather than being miserable the rest of the way, I concentrated on perceiving the beauty of the world around me, and this helped immensely. The next day I even took a longer route because there would be more things to see along that route, and indeed it was very pleasant.
Ithaca was also a place where I did a lot of drinking a few years ago. So, even though I rarely entertain the thought nowadays, I did have multiple urges to go get a drink. (I've heard similar stories from people who have revisited old drinking grounds.) When each of these thoughts occurred, I just let it be. I didn't try to repress it, nor did I try to cultivate it. One analogy I've heard is that it's like a nice car that you see passing on the road. It's there, and then it's gone, and you don't try to chase after it. I think it also helps that I was meditating every morning while in Ithaca. I brought my little zafu (meditation cushion) with me, and meditated in my hotel room each morning.
I start posting in earnest again tomorrow.
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