I've been somewhat irritable yesterday and today. It doesn't really manifest itself in personal interactions, but rather in my own mental commentary on the world. When I encounter something, I am quite likely to say "this is bullshit," or some such to myself. I am not sure what the origin of this is, but I have a guess. I attended a funeral a few days ago of a homeless man. His family was there, but they didn't seem sad. They didn't seem to care about anything but their own selves. The clincher was when the man's cousin, with a leather bible which had gold trim, got up to make his remarks, and proceeded to deliver a sermon filled with pompous bullshit. It really turned me off. I felt like, this man is a real hypocrite. Now I'm just saying what I felt at the time. I may be being too harsh on these people. It could be that the cousin was just doing his best to do a good job to honor his dead cousin. So he delivered a beautiful (in his mind) sermon. It may be. When my own grandmother died, I myself attempted to do a good job writing some remarks to say at the funeral. Indeed, and I'm ashamed of this, after I delivered my remarks, I was a bit surprised when no applause occurred. That's how hard-wired this sort of thing is for me. So perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on the man. It's interesting that this event has had such a lasting effect on me.
As for today's passage by Chödrön, it contains a lot which I try to take to heart and implement in my daily life. Living completely in the moment, for one. Perhaps this is the basic Buddhist tenet. Being comfortable with our own mind, accepting our emotions, these are others. Not prejudging, not saying "well I know how that's going to be," and using this as an excuse to not do or experience something. These are all good practices.
2 comments:
Love covers a multitude of sins.
"Wanting to find a place where everything's okay is just what keeps us miserable. Always lokking for a way to have pleasure and avoid pain is how we keep ourselves in samsara. As long as we believe there is something that will permanently satisfy our hunger for security, suffering is inevitable."
I like this b/c it highlights the comment I made in regard to your last post. Or, in the words of Modest Mouse: "The Good Times Are Killing Me."
Of the funeral: I think it's natural to think of yourself as much as the deceased. One of the most difficult things about a death of a loved one is that it reminds usof our own frailty.
Post a Comment