I recently discovered that the "J" in Prajna should be pronounced. I had assumed it was silent. How did I learn this? Well, therein lies a tale.
According to what I've learned, resentments are the number one offender which cause alcoholics to drink again. I recently heard some advice for getting rid of resentments. Pray for two weeks for the happiness and serenity of the person you resent. (In some cases it may take two months.) You will find that your resentment is gone. The other person doesn't change, but you no longer are letting them live without rent in your head. Okay fine, but what about people like me who don't believe in a deity? Well, I realized that I have resentments against people, but I also have (or perhaps had) a resentment against the idea of God.
The solution hit me. I can kill two resentments at once by praying for the happiness and root of happiness of the people I resent. This removes my resentment of them, and removes my resentment of God. This is similar to the Buddhist practice of tonglen which I mentioned in an earlier post. So I've begun doing that. I've also begun praying more generally, avoiding the wish-fufilment species of prayer, but more along the lines of, God help me to do the right thing. This Sunday, I finally figured out where a local Buddhist group meets, and I was feeling ambivalent about going. I asked God whether I should, ans the answer was clear. I should do it because I fear it. So I attended the Buddhist group's meeting. It was very interesting, and I got quite a bit out of it. I plan on going back next Sunday. In any event, we chanted in Sanskrit a couple of times, and it turns out that Prajna is pronounced like it's spelled!
P.S. The idea of God is consistent with Buddhism. The Zen Monk Suzuki thought that Westerners could use Buddhism to become more in tune with their native religions. In my view, by practicing meditation and mindfulness, I can ask God better questions. Thich Nhat Hanh believes that having two spiritual roots is an excellent idea, and that we should not renounce our original religion. Perhaps he realizes that such renunciation is often motivated by resentment, and is thus not a healthy spiritual foundation.
3 comments:
Do you now believe in a "god"?
I'm giving belief in a god a try, if only to remove my resentment. I don't have much additional structure to go along with that belief. As far as I see it, the best thing to do is make a limited amount of assumptions. So, I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in physical miracles that defy the laws of physics. However, I do believe in a spiritual force, which I can call God, which humans can tap for strength. It may just be a metaphor, but that's okay.
Here's another way to think about it. When I start to think, feel and act spiritually, memories and similar mental states from my childhood arise, and these are informed by Christian philosophy and teaching. Now, I can let this core of childhood spirituality blossom, or I can wall it off and repress it. This latter option I suspect will be catastrophic for me. I can't afford resentments! So I might as well use the spirituality that's there, informed as it is by magical, theistic thinking, to grow and to progress. It is, at the moment, the right raft for me to continue crossing the river.
I am still committed to the Bodhisattva path, now more than ever.
Wow. Very intense.
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